There is a time for everything, and everything has its time. A time to sow, and a time to reap what has been sown. A time to post, and a time to be mis-moderated. A time to start new clubs, and a time to close them down. What's the time¹?

The Small but Vocal Minority were mentioned all over the place, blamed for all kinds of things, called all kinds of bad names, accused of all manner of dastardly deeds. But nobody really knew who these people were, as they went from forum to forum spreading darkness and bad feelings².

Join Us

The Small But Vocal Minority has passed on, is no more, has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker (that's me!). It's a stiff, bereft of life, resting in peace, pushing up the daises. Its threads are now history. It's off the twig, kicked the bucket, shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain, and joined the ing choir invisible. It is an ex-club!

One time we hoped to become a Large And Vocal Majority, and unleash the dreaded Major Vocality that would bring the end of the world... or at least the end of the Thing-ites. Why not stake your place in the fiery pits of h2g2 hell and join the most dangerous group of people since the anarchists who said "hey - maybe we can build a community here!". I'll tell you why not - because you can't - the recruiting office is closed!

Those who have 'issues' with the Minority would be best off posting in this thread, so that any unpleasantness (which I definately don't want) can be isolated there. Thank you for your co-operation.

Special Powers

The Small But Vocal Minority were well known for their use of magic incantations and strange alien artefacts. They were rumoured to have a miraculous power (or curse) which compelled Italics to talk to them. Sadly, this SBVM Mind Trick did not appear to work in reverse, but research continues even now³, and it is hoped that Mind Trick 2.0 will be ready in time for Armageddon.

Another power of the Small But Vocal Minority was to imbue their words with an aura of unconstructiveness and negativity. It mattered not what a member said, nor where sie said it - it could always be read as a dire insult, or even 'character assasination'! If someone said 'hello' to you, and you felt like the bottom had just dropped out of your world, then you may have been a victim of a Minor Vocality attack.

Administrative Details

Nestled into a small cave in a mountain, which freak geology caused to act as a natural megaphone, and protected by a hastily erected SEP field, was the HQ of the small but vocal minority. Nobody talked there much, because there isn't some kind of grand conspiracy⁴ to pervert the course of h2g2, but there was a good booze supply⁵, and all the standard refreshments that you get in h2g2 clubs. Plus a jukebox with a bunch of tasteless songs, of course...

There were no rules and regs. There was no masterplan. There was no mastercard (but we did accept American Express). There was no unified front. There was no consensus view. There was no statement of principles. There was no single aim⁶. There was no leader. There was no heirarchy⁷. There were no qualifications or standards for joining. It was just a (small) bunch of (mostly vocal) people. Honest. Even the nuclear silos in the back garden have been dismantled by UN weapons inspectors.

The official smiley of the Small But Vocal Minority was the full moon smiley, in honour of the many claims that lunar influences on the Minority created much of the conflict. The alternative explanation of the apparent monthly cycle, [alternative explanation removed by censors]⁸, was clearly highly insulting and should not have been entertained for a second⁹. It was far more rational for people to speculate that the Minority was afflicted by heavy-duty lycanthropy.

Membership List

Like all military expeditions, the veterans of the Minority wear their battle-marks with pride, or possibly embarrassment and a sinking feeling that scars just won't go with that dress, darling! The following medals were available to those who served theirselves with honour:

• Awarded for the squeeky clean record of a law-abiding citizen. Or at least someone who hasn't been caught yet.
• Awarded for a close encounter of the Moderate kind. To reduce strain on the Vocal Budget, this can only be awarded once to each member.
• Awarded for an Officious Warning.
• Awarded for a Week-long Suspension.
• Awarded for a Month-long Suspension.
• Awarded for undertaking the Trial By Transgressions Procedure and living to tell the tale.
• Awarded for a Lifetime Ban.
• Awarded for a Clean Slate, and virginity restored.
• Awarded for mailing a copy of the Freedom Petition to the BBC.
• Awarded for being individually pre-moderated.

In order of the time I added them to this entry, which is as random as any, the following people declared themselves members of the Small But Vocal Minority. And a fine group of upstanding h2g2 Researchers they were too. *crosses fingers behind back* Incidentally, I've removed the badges from the list, because they might get out of date. Feel free to display them on your home space or elsewhere, if you want to...

• Conspiracy Theorist U129960
• The Oft-Nominated U96220
• Daughter of Perfidious Albion U148580
• Elite Member U180337
• The Black Caped U55226
• Suckiness Detector U144149
• Hydra Head U179402
• The Independant U150392
• Potential Double Agent U114627
• The Indecisive U166086
• The Tastes-good-with-crackers U100945
• The Healthy Disposition of U182062
• The Self-Censoring U186705
• The X-ed out Arpeggio for LeKZ
• The Disconcertingly Lateral U38364
• The Ironic U192075
• Spammer-in-chief U172568
• The Visionary U189636
• The Indifferent U198449

Disclaimer: The quotes used are a random sampling of many similar quotes on h2g2, and those who wrote them have said many other things on many different topics, and may have significantly changed their views in the intervening months. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to any entities, living or dead, is purely Chance. The views expressed are not necessarilly those of the BBC or any ex-member of this club, including mine. This club did not endorse breaking the House Rules, and nothing written here should be taken as such endorsement. This entry may not be suitable for the humour-impaired.