h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Appears in the temple grounds, decked out in full monk apparel, shaved head and all. Armed only with a camera, a catfish, and a credit card* Mortal Kombat!!!

*With a flash of light and crack of thunder that shakes the very foundations of the building HDS appears in a kilt of the Bruce tarten and bearing a rubber chicken and an absurdly large oatmeal and white chocalate cookie*

I shall fight you!

Hmmm... This should be interesting. My Own ACE. I was hoping to fight Hussassan, but this could be even more entertaining. *calls forth a massive flood on the field, then sicks my enormous battlecatfish of doom to test you* hmmm this should get some good pics.

did you just summon a wave and a fish to kill me?

I'm pretty shure he just did, very interesting choice of weapons.

This is not an ordinary catfish. *takes interesting pictures of you being gored with its drillwhiskers* hahaha

*HDS Turns in the middle of the wave, which doesn't even move his booted feet a millimeter and whacks the catfish right between the eyes with his rubber chicken, rendering it comatose*

who's weapons are interesting? hers or mine?

That little insult there will not go unpunished. *Distracts you with some photos of Saturn Girl posing and while you are occupied, uses his power to bring your rubber chicken to life. *takes a few pictures of HDS Choking his chicken*

You chose a rubber chicken just to ask that question didn't you?

*HDS, having not choked his chicken as Satrun Girl is not as attractive as she would have some believe, slaps Kiro upside the head with the chicken.*

Only I determine what I do, don't make the mistake of assuming what I've done, or I will uncontinuisly kick your @ss *

For lack of a better thing to do, pokes you in the eye, while your now living chicken eats your cookie

*Having witnessed his enemy break continuity, grabs the offending finger and breaks it off of Kiro's hand then non-chalantly incinerates it before her eyes*

we are even, want to try doing things correctly?

looks at the part of his hand where the finger used to be and simply regenerates it, then waves back and forth in the standard *tsk, tsk, tsk* manner. By the disruption in cotintuity, I assume you mean your suddenly very alive chicken? Even if you were not sufficiently distracted with SG's pin-up, I could have very plausably brought your chicken to life. just that it would not be choked and therefore dead, which is why is could easily eat your rather unwieldly oatmeal cookie.

What I mean by disrutpions of continuity is whenever you or anyone else decides that something of mine, or that I myself will will look, act, or be different in anyway. The correct form is "*casts a spell that has the effect of re-animating the chicken in HDS's posetion*" not to just say "*re-animates HDS's chikcen, and laughs as he chokes it*" (ugh! bad joke! You're naughty for having made it)

and by the by, actions are to be preceded and proceded by astriks (*) it helps, thanks!

*Throws a large sharp edged chocolate chip cookie at Kiro*

I accept that you could not have choked the chicken just because I said you did. But,because I did animate your chicken, It therefore has a conciousness and is not neccesarily an extension of yourself. And because it is not an extension of yourself, it can follow an independent course and is also susceptable to my Godly persuasion abilities. Therefore it can eat at least a portion of your cookie.

*pics up the comotose catfish, freezes it, and smacks the piece of cookie you threw at me back at you baseball style*

you cannot animate that which is in my possetion, peroid!

*Whacks the cookie back at Kiro with his rubber chicken*

*Constructs a volleyball net, which blocks the cookie.*
*constructs a scoreboard, which shows the score as 2 to 1 and my lead.*
*Takes a picture of the scoreboard.*
hahahahahaha! I am invincible!!!

*crowd surfs into the scene* This looks interesting. *appears a chair and sits in it* I will watch this battle as it is fought! ((YAY!))

Wait a minute, does this mean I won? HAHAHAHA!!!! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!!

Wait a minute, I'm not supposed to win. What's goin on here.