h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good Grief Dad - If you give a kid an axe what did you think I was going to do with it ?

But I gave him a choice of the train set or the axe!

Liam.

His head was in the way, How was I supposed to know he would move into the direct line of swing of the axe?

He said he had the reflexes of a cat. I think he lied.

Liam.

Well, you have to experiance these things to understand what happens...

Your Honor, I thought the deceased
was just asleep.

For the last time I never touched your rotten bl00dy cherry tree.

The wind blew it over<!>

Good grief! What a coincidence, the Swahili word for made of steel is fra-gile!

The voices in my head told me to do it...

The voices in his head told me to do it<!>

Because I was updating my personal space <.>

Of course I wasn't listening, I was just passing your head.

Because I'm off to the pub, and thats WHY I'm not doing any more work today...

Because I was on Holiday<!>

Because he was on holiday.

Well, you see, I walked with the intention of reaching the creek. But I forgot about all the extra bends in the road. And so, I'd think, oh it's just two more bends and then I'll be at the creek. But it was actually ten more bends. And then there was this big hill that just invited me to walk down it. So I had to-way too hard to turn and walk back up. So I reached the creek. But I had to get back home. SO I had to walk up the mountain.

Because he, yes your client, was a stupid f****** w***** of a b******* son of a b******* ba*****, and that is why I kicked him in the n***!

Because I don't like the color brown.

I don't think it will fit, and thats why!