h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Thats OK, I'm going to Islington anyway, there is a party I'v been invited too there"the girl said.

"whats your name" said ford looking in an earth phrasebook

"Ruby, I'm meeting my friend Trisha at the party, what's that your fiddling with?"

footnote: it was at this point that Ford had justed posted a Galactic deedpoll change of name using The Guide, this will explain the continuity problem as to why Zaphod knew his name was Ford when they met up again on the Heart of Gold

"Um just a a ummm" he saw another sign "London, its a London"

He thought it strange as in his language, London translates as a Overflowing Cesspit

*polishes Girl Guide Pedantry badge*

Surely Zaphod will find out his name is now Ford Prefect when they meet at the party, where Zaphod meets Trisha (rescuing her from the clutches of that drippy Arthur Dent chap) and takes her off on a galactic tour? Or are you anticipating Ford not actually making it to the party? I do think technological solutions are so much less elegant that nice plot-related ones!

*receives Girl Guide Spoilsport badge gratefully from Brown Owl*

(I think you must be assuming that this is the same party and the same Trisha, also who is to say that Ford will actualy go to this party, even if he did he would get himself to blind drunk to notice who else was there. Until the following story unfolds line by line, we do not know what direction things will go)

Ford needed to get to Islington soon to keep the rendezvous with the Teaser who brought him here.

however they were still several miles from islington and the car seems to be running out of petrol...

"Do you have any money Ford, I need some petrol" "Yes I have four Alterian Dollars"

"well ford I'm afraid to say that dosn't sound like enough to get petrol with..."

"Listern, the exchange rate on this poxy planet wouldn't even buy a ship's peanut, so nuts to you I'll walk"

"fine then i insist you get out of my car you terrably ungreatfull being"

(should point out that Ford can't meet Zaphod, he doesn't know Z was on Earth when they meet on HoG. Also, think the party's too soon, as it was only ~18 mths before they meet on HoG. There, finished.)

Ford stepped out into the puring, freezing rain and set off in the direction the car was headed.

Arthur and Ford knew each other for five or six years before Earth was demolished, so that party would not be for at least another 4.5 years.

(how do we know if Arthur knew Ford when he went to the party, and who said that this was The Party anyway)

To try and keep himself dry he took his towel from his satchel and covered his head with it.

Yeah, OK, different party. However, Arthur did know Ford at The Party because he'd met Trillian 6 months previously, but had known Ford for five years when the original HHGG started.

Eventually, he reached what appeared to be a pub, and resolved to once again figure out the intricacies of pubs on this planet.

OK, so that means we have about 10years of what Ford got upto before he met Arthur, so lets get on with and move this story along, we could have sub plots about what Arthur does during this time, also about Trillian at University doing her degree in Astrophysics.

Just time for a drink he thought before rendezvouing with the Teaser so he can get of this crummy planet

"Hello barkeep, a pan galactic gargle blaster please," requested Ford, thinking he deserved it after such a long, hard day.

*Ford wasn't actually at the party in Islington where Arthur completely did not get of with Trillian.*

The Barkeeper eyes him and says: 'you're drunk. It's disgusting!

He was puzzled by this since he had not had a drink for the past 4 parsecs, so he started to leave when....