h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Chickpea moves over to Cal*

We could do other things with those wispers </>

*Sweetpea moves over to the bits of Rob and starts putting him back together*

really



Like what

*The Doc Smashes through the wall in his Handy Dandy spandex "Superhero" outfit*

TA DA!

Miss me?

*Grabs NJA, dips her deeply and gives her a big before spinning her off over the dance floor*

GOOD! Needed that........

I have just been off to the good 'ol U S of A and I single handedly saved their sense of humour!

Which reminds me - we need MORE Superheroes on this thread - to seek out and save those deserving souls who are trapped in twaddling threads!

*The sun TINGS off his gleaming white superhero teeth*

I suggest we form a HooToo Justice League of spandex clad Super Heroes and Babes - Hermionicky! I choose you!

*A sparkling ray of white streams from Super Doc's fingers and Hermionicky glows bright purple*

Step out and meet your public Hermionicky - as Super Shopper!

* The glow around Hermionicky fades and she stands there respledant in white thigh boots and spandex hi cut Superbabe uniform*

It is your job to go Super Shopping and save those women in jogging pants - go make them GORGEOUS!

*Beep Beep*

What is this? My super IPod, TV, Video, DVD Player, Coffee Machine Internet enabled V8 twin Cam 5 litre wristwatch is calling me!

Hello? Yes - Tis I! *Sun goes TING on his cheesy super grin*

Yes Captain Eyebrows! What is that? You need help? OF COURSE!

I will be back - Justice calls! Awwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy!

*CRASHES through the ceiling in a big blur*

*through four days of deliberation, paper cuts and still being tied to the slab, morierty decides...*


ummmm, mr assistant to the doctor sir? i've chosen some 'improvements'

*looks around, quiet*

i'd like the super de-de-de-luxe XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL superhero mad doctor combo with the surprise enhanced sock and brace bombs please... and if you've got the new set of good slippers, i'd pay extra for a pair...

*The Doctor crashes back into the Lab, brushing molton lava off his shoulder*

Moriaty! Dear boy, sorry to have left you slabbing for so long! I will have Evil Twisted Assistant flogged for that oversight - but he might like it!

Want to join the Mad Lab Justice League of SuperHeroes then do you?
Be my guest!

*Super Doc points his fingers at Morierty and a blue light shines forth, bathing him in a pulsing light*

KEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Ah Ha!

Step forth Morierty - or shall we call you..........Hmmmm? I like the look! Pick a name for yourself boy and join the League!

*Morierty stands there resplendant in super Bunny slippers, spandex clad in fetching Black and Silver with matching rocket launchers on his shoulders (Both swivelling wildly) and a big red super codpiece of Truth*

red codpiece? what are you? the biggest gothic pervert in all chrisendom?


IIIIII LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think that i shall call myself "FEANOR THE WILDLY INACCURATE"

*Tries out a new power and accidentally destroys the cupboard in a hard to miss fashion*

NOW we are getting somewhere!
*Assumes heroic hands on hips Superhero pose alongside Feanor The Wildly Inaccurate and Super Shopper*

*The sun simultaneously goes TING! on three sets of perfect Superhero teeth*

*bringth more Colgate toothpathte over for that thuper tinging thmile*

There you are thur...

and I am thorry marthter for being derelict in my dutieth... I am not worthy to lick your bootth clean thur...

*tearth form at the thought of flogging but whether happinethth or thadnethth ith unknown*

*Slaps Evil Twisted Assistant on the back in exagerated Pantomime stylee*

Have no fear, ETA - was only kidding about the sound thrashing!

*Thinks*

Hmmmmmmmmm. ALL superheroes have sidekicks, dont they? I mean, Superman had Super Dog, Green Lantern had Bruce Lee in a silly hat and Batman had Robin - or is that just a rumour?

Anyhoo - I think I need my own sidekick, ETA - Fancy the job m'boy? Do you look good in tights?

*TING!*

*Now that NJA is no where to be seen Rob gets up from behind the slab and wanders over to the doctor*

I used to love the the JLA when I was a kid...
What can you do for me...

*adopts heroic pose*

Could I be The Great Fandango...

*Another heroic pose*

Or maybe something myterious like The Scarlet Boufont.

*puts on an old like a cape and pretends to fly round the room*

*leaves room for a minute...*

*comes back a few minutes later with a swordfish, hits rob over the head with said fish, and places him on the slab unconcious*

i think that we can come up with something....

doctor? got any ideas?

Ow what did you do that for...
I was willing.....

*lies still on the slab eagerly awaiting his new transformation*

*NJA whacks Rob with a soggy wet kipper!*

*husky voiced and purring*


I am never very far away darling


*Swivels and jiggles and slides__________________around the slab, tying Rob firmly down*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Aha! One called Rob at our Mercy!

Yes, I think you would make a suitable candidate for the Mad Lab Superhero League of Justice and Weird Stuff!

*Points finger at Rob and a white light glows around rob*

KaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaBLAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOO!

*Rob lay there in slightly baggy spandex, eye mask sligtly lopsided and a massive red bouffant with a lovely mullet attachment*

Arise, Phantom Red Bouffant! Nice name by the way - and your special power is.................erm.............What?

*TING!*

*waltzes back in with fashionably streaked hair (check), trademark dangerously cut dress (check) ridiculously high heels (check) bemused look directed at the "idiots" (check) *

Has anyone seen my pink poodle?

Darling Mercenary Girl/wife thing! Welcome back - nice outfit by the way! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Pink poodle? Yes - the Phantom Bouffant with the unfeasibly large mullet had it for breakfast this morning. With a side order of refried beans. And Chorizo sausage. And guacamole. With flour tortillas. And salsa. Dancing, not the sauce.

Welcome back baby - want to be a Superhero or villain?

*TING!*

So..............that would be "Villain" then would it?

*TING!*

FOUR!!

A golf ball bounces through the doorway stopping in a crack in the floor. A slightly dishevelled looking man wanders in holding a wet haddock in one hand, and an orange cactus under his other arm.

"Mind if I play through?" He says to nobody in particular.

Hits the ball out of the window with the fish and chases after it

HE'S GOOD!

We need more like you - come back!

*Whooshes after new person playing through*