h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

mind - no I haven't heard that one. It is good? Consequently both hello and DUCK!!

*dives out of the way as a spray of olives cut through the air and several glasses on the table smash. Takes refuge under the table.*

hullo!

*from behind the minibar, Jade shouts*

Give him the MOST grapes, Yank!

let's not be discriminatory here sElf. why should he get the most?

*guy walks up behind CD with a sawed-off olivegun, shoots him in back at point blank range*

Ow, that really hurt.

*slits his throat*

This ends *now*.

*There is a tinkling as all the windows of the Boardroom are broken. Through the shattered panes, serious-looking goons with trilbys and Tommy guns take aim. Legion pops an army helmet on his head and scurries behind the minibar*

Let 'er rip, boys! Leave none un-pelted!

*The Tommy guns bark and the room is filled with flying olives. As they impact with the various writhing unfortunates still in the line of fire, the scene drops into slow-motion and emotional classical music plays*

The humanity! Those things really *sting*...

*recreates scene where it takes a person WAY too long to die*

No, go on without me. Just leavvve mee behind.

*is somewhat safe behind minibar. SOMEWHAT safe because Jadeelf is back here too*

I'd rather have things up front.

Elwyn, Legion gets the most grapes because he outranks you.

So kindly shut up.

Thank you.

Yeah, well the thi-

*snarky remark cut off by complete burial in olives*

*Elwyn arches brow and resolves never to question J about grapes again*

"Creator provided mankind with enough resources but he allowed the men the role of distributing that wealth"

Sexist.

*flicks tasty treat in a delicate ark over Elwyn's head, banking on her leaping up to get it and getting pelted with olives.*

Hehe.

*Wakes up with a comic waking-up noise.*

Wha-? Oh, jeeze...

On a side note, any of the old crew of BoE who wants an invitation to facebook, I apparently can do that now. So, yeah. Contact me. :D

Myst, where the deuce have /you/ been?

I'm not part of the "old crew" but I'd like an invite

Would... you... feel... ne...glegec...ted... if... you... weren't?

Not really.

So... I... said... that... for... no... reas... on? St.

*Grits his teeth at Cosmicdudeman's slow death cries*

Will somebody *please* put an olive in that poor b@stard's head? I can't hear myself think... Knuckles! Hefty Mick! In his head!

*The goons at the windows nod, and shift their fire. All the olives now being fired are pelting Cosmicdudeman's crotch*

Hey...! Well, it'll kill him eventually I suppose. But first it'll make him *wish* he was dead.