h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*meanders with her bazooka over to the window, begins to shoot at pixies*

There are pixies out there?

*wanders over to window and sticks his head out.*

*brings head back it.*

Well ok, there *were* pixies out there.

*wipes ash and pixie innards from his face*

Ow...pixies? *pulls out shotgun*

YEHAW! WE'S A GONNA HAVE 'N OL' FASHONDED PIXIE HUNT!

*Pops a rib back into place, glowers at JJ*

You know, I've been playing a bit of Battlefront II recently. I found it surprisingly satisfying playing as an ordinary grunt stormtrooper and taking on Jedis. A real sense of blue-collar satisfaction, you know? Just you and your trusty blaster, dropping those flash b@stards like they was nothing.

*Whips a blaster from his jacket...*

You rebel scum!

*...and starts blasting away at JJ*

*Jade yawns and lazily places her force shield up, deflecting the shots back at Legion's left thigh*

You know, dear, you might want to stop that, lest you hit an artery.

*She winks and wiggles her fingers a bit, using the Force to untie Legion's shoes from the table leg*

I //suppose// you can get up now.

Are you bound by the rules set up by the Expanded Universe continuity?

I am bound by the rules that I am OLD and I can godmod from time to time.

Oh. *puts away elaborate plan to fling a pie (possibly loaded with dynamite) at Jadeelf*

Smart boy.

*she bends down and helps Legion up, summoning a butlet to dust him off*

A butlet? Oooooo!!!!! Delicious!

Butler cutlets... wonderful texture...

*Drools*

*Shoots pixies outside*

Ize's gotsa waon! Ize's gotsa waon!

Yeahhh, I decided to animate some of the bulter cutlets. Makes for interesting dinner conversation.

*flips Hally the /middle/ finger*

*shoots at Cosmicdudeman*

You *blam* are blocking *blam* my site *blam* ...

*Nods to the butlet dusting him off*

Thank you, butlet. Now - report to the kitchen for a marinate and thirty minutes on medium heat.

Butlet: Mmmyes sah.

I like these fellahs, JJ. Well done. Personally, I'm bound by the rules that since I created this bubble of space/time/minibar, I can do as I bloody please. Observe...

*Mr Legion grunts, stretches, and stands on his own shoulders*

Go on. Ask me how it's done.

*Jade casts her eyes ceilingward and sighs*

How is it done?

*flinches*

It's like too many David Bowies all twisted around each other...

Sorry. Just stop shooting. I'll give you the dead pixies.

How is it done? *Science*. You wouldn't understand.

*A skip, a hop and Mr Legion is on his feet again. Stretches, cracks neck vertebrae, sighs*

You can imagine how useful those contortionist abilities are in my social life. Go on. I dare you. Imagine.

*Scrapes a dead pixie off the window, plops it in a jar*

Keep collecting them. We can make a jam.

Yay! Pixie jam!

But will the jam /actually/ be useful for toast? 's what I'd like to know.

I am drinking probably the MOST beers right now, guys. RIV WHY AREN'T YOU PARTYING WITH ME YET RAAAAAAR?