h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffigbsibbons! *leaps like a trout*

*Opens one eye painfully*

Happy juice? Gimme!

*Lurches to his feet, grabs the bottle, glugs some, wipes mouth with arm*

Hmm.





*Turns bottle over, checks sell-by date*

Oh, crumbs. It's expired.

*Is sad then sick in quick succession. Resumes position under the table, muttering sweet obscenities to self*

*inspects bottle of Pain and Gore. There is a little wee bit sloshing around in the bottom*

Hey Legion, try some of this!

*hands him bottle*

*is immensely glad that I chose * *looks smug*



Ah well....all in a day's plotting and mayhem.......


*sups *

Umm, Johnny, you do realize what the guys in the BoE do to, or should I say in, the right?

I'm normally quite partial to a spot of cider. Oh dear...

NOW she tell me *pukes in pot plant*

*EC manages to crawl over to a First Person Shooter First Aid Kit*

Yay! Through the power of first aid my broken spine has been healed! And now for sweet, sweet slightly chilled vengeance!

*punches Cosmicmandude in the liver*

Take THAT you hemorrhoidal infrastructure!

*notices stitches haven't been tied in EC's back*

I wonder what'll happen if I pull it....

*Pulls at loose thread*

Thwip...thwip...thwip....

*Stitches pop*


Oops

*bleeds all over Johnny*

That'll learn ya! *twitch* Oops. My medicine's wearing off.

*injects a morphine syringe into his arm*

ya dirty low down son of a ruining my good shirt ....


*injects EC with another syringe full of morphine*

*pushes EC over*


*wipes feet on EC's battered frame*

ah - finally I have a use for you

*large hairy (& slightly tired) black spider drags her now noticiably decomposing body, wrapped in deteriorating web cocoon, through the room, the opposite direction. Delicately perfumed,rotted bits leaving a trail behind...slightly disemodied voice murmurs eerily something to the effect of...* ... come back to check up on you all...not even offered...drink?*Spider heroically continues trek through room* Wheeeeere isssss theeee barrrrrtenderrrrr?Skulllllloooooookkkkkk?...(oh)and assorted Oooooooo, OOooooooo's.

*stands up*

You glib msslei!? Anryg iaer! *stabs Johnny in the face with his own shoes... somehow*

Here you go a


*Proffers before ing away*

Ha I'm wearing slippers you fool ....


Do you want another armful EC ?

*offers EC another syringe*

*chews on needle and swallows it*

Migmms, thyre blnng'! *rummages in duffel bag and pulls out a knife and stabs Johnny in the face with a pencil*

Ouch you ing of a ......


*bleeds on EC*

*pulls out baseball bat from behind mini bar*


*beats EC round head several times*

Take that you bounder

Iiiii don't even know what a bounder is! ... YARG! You've caved in my skull! *pours a bottle of beer on Johnny and tries unsuccessfully to light a match*

Stupid face blood getting on matches... Anybody have a lighter?

it's like a cad you buffoon ...*shakes off beer*

*produces lighter from pocket*

*ignites it and sets EC's clothes on fire*


anyone got any s or marshmallows

*pats out flames*

Pffft. You'll need a bigger lighter than that to ignite clothes that are soaked with blood. Just saying.

*pulls pencil out of Johnny's face* Sorry about that. Under the influence of morphine and all that you know.

*pins Johnny's feet to the floor with knives*

Well, I'm off to take a nap and sleep off this headache/brain damage.