h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

nudity is fun
stringed instruments and stoned fruit
can make it more so...




NT: Trying to be amusing early in the morning after too many cups of espresso; headaches.

I ANDROKTONE

Did you hear about
That funny thing about scull
Heads? God I'm witty!

Next: Trying to be amusing late in the afternoon after too too too many cups of espresso.

*Runs around. Laughs. Screams.
Waves arms. Goes Blubble. Dances.
Scares Badgers. Burps. Faints*

nt: Trying to be amusing late in the day when you are the Prime Minister of Spain.

The PM of Spain,
Both in time and in office,
Doeas Spanish Foxtrot

Next: Characters from "The Great Gatsby" and cannons

Is that too hard?

How about: Sodit, Wimpy, Wibble, Thing, Poets, Doobry, Dontbry (use any two)

Gatsby drinks Champaign,
Laughing, fires thing from cannon.
Poets watch Jay in awe.

nt: walrus, string and the discovery of fire.

While plying catgut
an ancient relative
achieved combustion.

nt : igloos, bubble-wrap and Charles Dickens

catch a walrus with
a lasso, then cook it with
new-discovered fire.
(or, if fire is 2 sylables, make that, "the newfound fire.")


youth, magnets, miracles

oops...

a famous author
carpets his igloo with some
bubble wrap. pop! pop!


see previous post

I am attractive
to virile youth. Nah. That would
be a miracle...

nt : soap, Armageddon and pelvic floor exercises.

Armageddon came
as the maid scrubbed the floor and
Madame did yoga.

Next topics: Christmas trees, rutabagas,
and the Great Train Robbery

That "Great Train" movie
had girl rutabaga red
But no Christmas Tree


Next: ceramics, yo-yo, asparagus

grow asparagus
in a pot, rabbit eats it,
hit it with yo-yo!

hope, salt, sugar

I hope this unmarked
container holds sugar, I
don't want salty tea

nt: ray guns, elephants, shish-kebabs

Elephant got shot
With a ray gun, blew apart.
Instant shish-kebab.

Next: CD-Rs, snapping and haircuts

I cut a snappy
band called "Hair" on my brand new
CD-R. Cool, huh?

nt: self-reference, imbrication, iteration...

I am a roof roof
with overlapping tiles tiles.
I am a roof with

next topics: Hyperbole, symbolism, and deadpan humor

Small dogs of the home
Are a thousand times better
Than throwing wing chairs

"Oh, do not wing the chair, unless it is a WING chair! *pompous*"

Next: Wing chairs, personification, Poe

Damn the arms of the
Wing chair that hold me fast, nay
My evil deeds ring!

Next: Something Edgar Allen Poe involving a food

quothe the raven, "what
do i have to do to get
eyeballs around here?!?!"

nt: somewhat dubious interpretations of haiku topics