h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is that a cactus?
Inside a grand pianola?
Illogical, Kirk.

nt: France, Donuts, Fire Alarms.

Sound all the alarms!
French are invading and have
Stolen out Donuts!

Next: France, chess, hills

Run to Red Queen hill!
I hear there are French people
Attempting Cricket.

Next: Glass blowing, rain, birds

Blow glass in the rain
"Thunk" the glass flies out the end
Bird falls down quite dead.

And now...

Documents, abacus and staff (just looking at a sign in the lab)

Document the staff.
Abacus the documents-
It all adds up now.

nt cherries, light-year, gnats.

Gnats may live light-years
away, but they'll find cherries
before you eat them.

Next topics: large diamonds, bicycles,
and McDonald's

large diamonds, bicycles,
and McDonald's



The Koh-I-Nor would
make me richer than MacDonalds
but I still bicycle.

Next: Margret Thatcher is undead

There may be rust on
the Iron Lady, but her
spine of steel endures.

Next topics: smelly sneakers, fish bones, and cucumbers

Evidence Taken:
smelly sneakers, fish bones and
cucumbers: Guilty.

next: a song sung by a group of small woodland creatures on their last night in the hollow.

What is happening?
To the forests of our youth?
Did they go condo?

Next: Someone please incorporate this:

===*~~~~

_
*
<~~ o~~ O~~

No syllables in:

===*~~~~~

_
*
<~~ o~~ O~~

makes for a really smokin'
Haiku, now don't it?

nt: J.S. Bach, Field mice, Mung beans.

Down came the good Bach
And he said "Little feild mice
to mung beans be nice."

nt: biology, torches, and orange twine

When torched just right,
orange twine's biology
becomes orange goo.

nt..frog, webcam, Eric Clapton

Eric Clapton once sang
"you look ribbit tonight" live
on Friday Frog-Cam.

next: Beach Buggies, Coffee, The Dodo

The Dodo was killed
By drinking too much coffee
Driving beach buggy.

And now... fanfares, doors and N-Trance

I think I've gone deaf
Listening to N-Trance and
Fanfares and The Doors


Next: Sideburns, catnaps, and pie

ICK! face into pie!
Catnapping during dessert.
Sticky sweet sideburns.

nt...ESP, ESPN, pencil sharpeners

ESP told me
to sharpen pencils after
ESPN ends.

Next topics: Little Lulu, acne, and a Rolls Royce.

Little Lulu hides
behind the limo's dark glass.
Fans mustn't see zit!!!!

nt...Mickey Mouse, Alzheimers, typos

MicKy the mAin Mouse,
notorious cheeSse ganster/*
ForGot to type ThIss.

next: Bert, Ernie, Cookie Monster.