h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't believe I've ever tried the apricot and mole. I normally have the barbecued badger.

All this choice is so confusing. I wonder if there are any potato-flavoured crisps in stock?

Why would anyone want a potato-flavored one?

I have no idea Hypatia,but I can't find my drink anywhere !

Your drink? I haven't seen it anywhere ... I'm sure both of those were mine.

Don't look at me. I didn't even finish my own drink. that layer of dust in the botton of the glass rather put me off.

I find the layer of dust at the top of the glass more disconcerting, but no as bad as the sight of an empty glass ...

*Rattles on counter in subtle hopes*

Well,I know I had a large glass filled with Brandy and Babycham,.....somewhere.....Oh well,if I can find another glass,I'll buy us all a round.Your right though Hypatia,the dust is getting thick in here I've noticed ! I'll disguise it with the Xmas decorations,soon.Now where's that barman ?

*Prepares to spring into action*

A round? I could always nip behind the bar and dispense ...

Really Kes ? You mean you do actually move ? Amazing ! Drinks all round then x

Well, I generally subscribe to a certain economy of movement, but when the occasion demands ...





That was what you ordered wasn't it? That'll be four and ninepence please!

*jerks awake* Did someone offer to buy a round of drinks?

I'll take a G&T, barkeep, and a package of those possum and persimmon .

Pinky. You're a right good egg.

I'll drink to that!
*Does so ... several times*

Talking of good cheer, which we almost were, are we contemplating putting up a few Christmas decorations? 'Tis the season, after all.

Four and ninepence ? Ermmmmmm,now where did I leave my purse,you can't find anything around here when you don't need it can you ? The Xmas decorations will be going up next week Kes,if we can find them,I might even have to invest in some new ones (I wonder who I've just upset now,I feel a meeting coming on !) Cheers Hypatia,enjoy your G+T x Kes,would you be kind enough to serve up the next round please,I WILL find my purse,eventually !

*Whoosh!*



*Whoosh!*

Did I forget anything?
*Slurp* Cheers!

I'm sure we could use the existing decorations just one more time ... well, some of them, at least. The hedgehogs seem to have nested in the box, which hasn't done much for the crepe paper, and has done even more/less for the balloons (depending on how you look at it), but the layers of grease on the tinsel have served as good protection.

Ermmm,yes, you seem to have remembered everything there Kes.Your getting very good at this serving drinks business you know.I'm impressed ! Right,decorations,so you think we'll cope with the old ones for another year then ? I could always wash them I suppose,bring a bit of sparkle back ! It would save me being dragged up in front of a huge meeting again this year.Thanks Kes,I'll find the washing up liquid.I love a challenge..Cheers ! x

OK ... but let's just give the tree lights a light dusting.
*Begins untangling a mess of thin green wires and mostly blackened bulbs.*

Soon have this working again ...

You think do you ? Ermmm,I'll untangle the mess,you try plugging them in Ok Kes ? *Pinky steps well away from the brown wall plug ,quickly*

Oh, alright. I usually like to check each bulb first, but we'll give it a whirl.

*Bends the plug slightly and inserts it into socket. A faint "pffffft" is heard. Outside, in a four-mile radius, traffic lights fail and trams come to an abrupt halt.*

Nothing doing, I'm afraid. It might need a bigger fuse, or perhaps there's a blown bulb. I'll take a closer look.

Ermmmmmmm,I've got a torch here somewhere Kes,hang on a minute !Oh,here's the torch but the batteries are a bit iffy...Dare we light a candle do you think ? Just until you've checked out the bulbs of course ! Pardon ?? Hang on,let me close this window,I can't hear a thing with all that traffic noise outside.It looks really dark out there tonight...Not a flicker of light anywhere Kes.Lets be devils and light that candle shall we ?