h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well thank you very much ... don't mind if I do. A , I think - large, of course. I too am beginning to feel slightly festive, and shall probably collapse in the armchair with a bottle of port.

(Probably busy IRL, so less hootooing than usual).

A small celebration is in order though ... I think I recall a pack of mince pies at the back of the freezer. We can warm them up over the tree lights.

Mince pie sounds lovely.

*deposits a rather large box on the bar and begins removing contents*

Let's see. We have eggnog made with some of Uncle Harvey's special recipe spirits, mulled cider, a packet of possum and ginger crisps, a bone for the Snug Hound, a box of sugar cookies in the shape of snowmen, and these hand-crocheted socks for Kes and Pinky. If your feet aren't warm, then your whole day is ruined.

Merry Christmas.

Ahhh bless you Hypatia,how very thoughtful,Xmas pressies,thankyou..Just what I've always wanted,hand crocheted socks (pink ones too) ,you really are too kind...Now if I could just waken Kes up from his deep sleep in that armchair,I'm sure he'll be wanting to thankyou too Hyp ! Kes,oh Kes..wake up,the bottle of port is empty.....He'll soon be awake now Hyp,just wait and see...Merry Xmas to you,Best Wishes for a wonderful holiday xxx

MMMmmmppph? Wha?
Oh. Hi Hy! Socks - just the ticket. My old ones are more holey than Godly. Right size too. Very kind ... and food too.

*Rummages through assorted pockets, producing slightly recycled Christmas cards and festive mints with not much fluff.*

There we are - very best wishes to you both.

Well,this is most unexpected Kes,gifts AND cards ! I'm overcome ,and the fluff matches my new socks ,your too kind by far you know ! Drinks all round,on me..Merry Xmas and CHEERS to you both x x

*Subsides into the armchair with a vague but cheery wave*

Just taking forty winks - keep my drinks lined up. All the best!

You woke me up then Kes ,with a start too I can tell you..You enjoy your nap,I'll find someone to pour our drinks,ermmmmmm somewhere ! Enjoy ! (All the very best to you too Kes x)

Ok,attention please ! Turkey curry all round,made with my own hands and from my own very special recipe.There's no charge,it's all free,a bucket full of the stuff,I mean,delicious food..NO PUSHING,form a straight line please.Who's first ?

*Awakened by a waft of curried turkey ... or possibly the waft of the word "free" on the Snug air ...*

Curry? Don't mind if I do. Is it next year? Did I miss midnight? Does gin go with curry?

*Almost trips over the Snughound in an effort to form an orderly line of one.*

Well it's about time !!! Here I am SLAVING over a hot bucket,sweating ,unable to breath with the heat.I won't be doing anymore cooking in this establishment until every last bit of this delicious curry has been eaten !! Now stop pushing Kes,you don't want to knock this bucket over do you ? (Happy New Year to you and yours by the way,thought I should mention it before I'm saying Happy Xmas again hahahaha x) Ermmm,anything goes with my curry Kes,you'll be very pleased to know !

(Thank you - HNY to you also)

Well, I'll try a bowlful for starters. Thank you.

*Returns to usual seat at bar and inspects the curry.*

Smells delicious! So the brown bits will be turkey, the white-ish bits rice, and the green bits are .... ?

Green bits ? Ermmmmm,errrrr,Oh yes,green bits.They are peas,healthy,and green and round and ermmmmm,good for you.Just eat OK ? There's plenty more where that came from...and when it's finished..Turkey burgers mmmmmmm yum yum yum Your excited now Kes,I can tell (Thankyou for your wishes too x)

Could that all be dehydrated and ground into a powder and used to flavor crisps? It would make a switch from the baadger and garlic.

Now thats a possibilty Hypatia ! I'll experiment with this idea.Kes ? Kes ? Do you know how to turn turkey curry into powder ? Is there a special machine we would need ? Or,could we use that old wine press in the cellar ? Or do we just get our shoes and socks of and plunge in ? Mmmmmmm,this could be a money making idea you've come up with Hypatia ,well done you ! (And Happy New Year,to you and yours before it gets any later x)

If the turkey curry is anything like other curries I have known, then leaving some of it clinging to the edge of the bowl for a few weeks would result in a powder.

*Begins eating the curry with a will. While OK with the concept of turkey burger, does not want to leave enough leftovers to reach the "turkey and custard" stage.*

Turkey and custard ? Kes,your a walking miracle you are ,I hadn't thought of that !!! Please,do not eat one more mouthful ! No more curry being served here I need this ,this could be the start of something big.Next year at this time we could be millionaires ! Turkey and custard flavoured crisps.How long do we have to leave it to dry for Kes ,and when can I add the custard powder ? Your brilliant you are ,the brain of scientist ! I'm very impressed

I'm getting a little less impressed now though..No ideas as to when I add the custard powder yet ? Ermmm,it could be the year AFTER next we actually hit the millionaire bracket OK ?

Oh lets have a drink,I'm bored with turkey now ! I'm buying

Damn decent of you, Pinky. I'll have a G&T, Barkeep.

You know, I don't believe I've ever had turkey curry before. My region isn't a curry haven like the UK. I have made lots of turkey pot pies with the leftover holiday bird, however. And turkey soup, of course. And turkey tetrazzini. And turkey marsala. And good old turkey salad sandwiches. But no turkey curry.

One G+T coming right up Hyp.Cheers ! On a more serious,down to earth note,turkey curry,isn't too far removed from chicken curry Hyp..similar flavour,and it does use up that left over Xmas turkey,quickly ! Hope you've had chicken curry ? I've never heard of turkey tetrazzini,sounds good though.See you soon x