h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Holds tissue to nose*

Haa ... aa .. aaaaaaaaaa ..
*sniffle*

No - false alarm. What are you two muttering about? I can't hear from all the way over here. Thought I heard "drink"??? I believe a large Navy rum is good for the sniffles ...

Navy Rum ??? Ermmm Kes,this is a 'NEW' type of Navy Rum,chocolate flavour !! Fancy ? A mug full ?

AAACHOOOOOOOO!
AAACHOOOOOOOO!
AAACHOOOOOOOO!
It's alright. I've fini ...
AAACHOOOOOOOO!
... finished now.
Who set my box of tissues alight? Where's that rum?

Did I hear a voice somewhere ? HYP,HYP ! Are you OK ? I'll just pull myself up from this rubble ,and these fallen timbers and I'll give you a hand just as quickly as I can ! I think we've just experienced an explosion in here ! I hope Kes is OK ? It could take us months to dig our way out of here before we find him !*Pinky coughs and splutters as she pulls pieces of cement ,HUGE pieces, from her hair*

*cough...sneeze....wheeze* I'm okay! A bit dusty, but apparently all in one piece.

That was amazing! Suppose he could do it again?

All this dust is irritating my nose.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAACH ...

No, not this time. Who turned the lights out? Where's my rum?

Kes would you try to be patient please...I'll bring you your rum when I've managed to drag myself out from under this rafter !! I have no idea where Hyp is ! It's very dark you know ! There's never a torch around when you need one !

AAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Bless me! D'you know what? Everything was lit up real bright for a few seconds. The light switch must be faulty.

Bless You Kes...The light switch must be faulty ? You reckon do you ? And here's me thinking the building was faulty..Silly me !

Nothing wrong with The Snug ... dust's a bit thicker than usual ... carpet's smouldering a bit more than usual ... couple of ceiling beams not quite in the right place ... apart from that - perfectly normal.

If everything is perfectly normal, I'll have a G&T and a bag of the Vole and Mango crisps.

Gin & Turpentine? Don't mind if I do ...

Please let me buy this round. You both look like you could use a drink. I have some moxons here someplace.

Pinky, what will you have, dear?

A couple of rolls of bandages wouldn't go amiss Hyp,thankyou so very much.Oh ,and a double brandy and Babycham ,your too kind. Could I have a straw too please ? I don't think I have the strength to actually hold a glass.Is it extremely warm in here ? Or,is it just me ?

I'll get the bandages from the First Aid cabinet.
Same drink for me, please, but with a third brandy intead of the Babycham.

*Rummages in the cabinet*
Bandages, bandages? Seem to be a bit short of bandages. How about a kidney dish, two aspirin and a plaster?

Thankyou Kes,your too kind also.I've always wanted a kidney dish.Happy (belated) Valentines Day wishes (I'm a florist and I totally forgot ,sorry hahahaha)Ermmm,who is actually serving our drinks ?

I'm sure I can manage that simple order.

Four triple brandies, was it? ... and what are you two drinking?

I believe after all that I'll have something to settle the stomach. a B&B, I think.

And speakingof bartenders, *looks at hole in roof*, I wonder if we should try to fix that before Munchkin returns? Not that there's any hurry. Could be decades. And I rather like the way it brightens up the place.

*Pours several brandies, some with accompaniment*

Thankyou Kes,your getting quite good at this serving drinks business ! Ermmm,Hyp,why don't we worry about mending the hole in the roof when winters over and done with eh ? Snowflakes falling on our noses,Jack Frost nipping at our toes,torrential acid rain giving us free skin peels ! We should consider these things you know ? But,then again,IF I MUST climb a ladder,I'll do it...Do we have enough brown paper to cover the hole though ? Oh,CHEERS everyone !