h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I dare you to analyze Kabutchka!
Other names:
Infinite Improbability
Infinity3
Triforce
NTG

Cool, a hardcore Zelda player. I never really liked that game (and the sequel sucked), but now that I've seen all these horrible new games (like Ocarina of Time), I tend to think that game design is a lost art. Either it's me getting old, or there's not as much gameplay in games these days. Listen to me, I talk like a senior citizen...

WHy is Ocarina of Time awful? It's better than most other N64 games. If Zelda is so bad, why are you awed by fans? Sorry I sound so mean, I apologize. Why do'nt you drop by the "Ultimate Fan" page? Undoubtedly we can find a common interest.
How about the rest of my names?

I'm sorry, someone else will have to analyse your usernames as they don't inspire me enough to ~really~ make me want to overcome my fear of failure... I've posted on your Ultimate Fan page.

What fear of failure? Did you find anything on my page that you like?

OK. I thought I'd better return the favour and tell you my name associations. People who know me would be very surprised, as I am terrible at remembering names. I found myself desperately appologising to someone whose name just doesn't stick with me by saying "But you just don't look like a Julia." The point being, I think, that names may not tell me anything about a person's real character or appearance, but do set up strong visual associations in my mind.

So, basically, I'm going to tell you all a few of those mental pictures. I appologise if you have been done/haven't asked to be done. I further appologise, as these images have nothing really to do with reality. And I appologise in advance if I got the sex wrong. I'm only gonna try for people I haven't talked to much yet. Oh, and I have a very pedestrian mind, so some of these characterisations will be very cliched. Sorry again.

In no particular order:

Rhyolyn. Small, dark, Welsh, female, soft lilting voice, gentle. Not sure about age. Mid-30s maybe. Domesticated.

Frankie Roberto. American Mafioso. Middle aged, running to seed a bit. Not the top dog. Not the 2nd in command. Liable to get shot somewhere in the middle of the film, maybe in the process of doing something uncharacteristically noble. Heart of gold under a rough exterior, not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

iaoth. Some kind of eqyptian deity. Haughty. Should have a mouse's head I suppose, but somehow I amagibe a raven/vulture head on a human male body. Sorry. The hajin bit has you dressed in a kimono too.

Kabutchka. Should know this really, but as my students have been going on about the fairytale hero Kubachok recently, I picture you as a small round hard loaf of black bread. With legs. Mischevious in a pinocchio kind of way. Capricious too. Male.

Infinite Improbability. You, however, are female. Late 30s early 40s but wearing extremely well . Captain of a starship. Voluptuous. Silver hair, blue eyes, silver jump suit. Strong and independant.

trgz. You are Tigger from Winnie the Pooh.

girleight. A lively female teenager about 16 to be precise. Blond, popular, giggles a lot. Slim. English. Southern.

Hoovooloo. I keep thinking about the vacumn cleaner from the teletubbies.

Signor Montanto (Spelling? Sorry) et al. Venetian, early 15th century. A monk. Late 40s, early 50s. Aesthetic tastes but from a rich powerful family. Well educated and intelligent. Hawklike face. I see you sitting in a crumbling mansion house with very little furniture but fading frescos of forest green and reds, illuminating manuscripts.

Stinkywigfiddle is a pig. A cheerful, round, jolly and very pink pig.

Tummyfish is a fish. Again, cheerful and rotund and not too clever. Cartoonish.

Tacsatduck is, I'm embarrassed to say, a chinese chef in a chinese restaurant.

Steviebab is another teenager. Male. 15 or thereabouts. Thin, gangling. Enthusiastic. English or American. Hmmm. Maybe American. Likes computers and roleplaying.

Ok, I think that's it. I hope this doesn't get me into trouble. It really isn't meant to be true to life.

Steviebab - more than twice as old as you guessed (although name did originate when I was 17), not thin (ever) or gangling, does not like computers or role playing but is male and English. Not bad, as "Steviebab" doesn't really give you much to go on

Propa Ganda:

Yeah yeah. Close actually. 27. Female. Sci fi (and any pulp fiction except westerns and romance). Hate travel. Depends what you mean by radical, but probably not. Patient optimist? Lazy optimist more like. Pessimism too wearying. Lonely Promothean? Eh? I'm chained to a rock with a vulture tearing out my guts? Well, I know work feels like that sometimes. Ninchevo...

>Pokemon Card: BorschZon

What is Pokemon?

>Tarot Card: Hierophant

Sonds nice. Can you eat it too?

>Feng Shui Element: Hydrogenated Vegtable Oil

Smetana, kanyesna.

>Favourite Colour: Red

Well, green actually.

Oh, Solnushka means 'Cute Little Sunny Wunny oochicoo' in the same way that Vodka means 'Cute little water oochicoo'.

I have no idea why I chose it as I don't like to think of myself as cute. It is, however, spelt wrong. Technically. That is very me. It thould be 'Solnushko' if you transliterate. But 'o' is a nuter ending and I don't feel very nuter. 'A' is feminine. Also it's pronounced with an 'a' sound so...

Well, it wasn't supposed to be accurate really. As soon as I finished, actually, I went and had a sneaky look at your homepage and then I giggled a lot. Glad you aren't offended.

Pokemon is a Japanese Craze kids collecting little cards, Movies, McD Pokemon Meals and Saturday cartoons. Like when kids used to collect Baseball or Football cards. Each card has a picture of a mutated animal/monster. I figured that I ought to assign everyone a Pokemon Character to sort of fit in with the Tarot Mumbo Jumbo. Then Feng Shui seemed like a natural New Age Progression. (for reference BorschZon is the first made up Pokemon, all the others I think were real.)

The names & faces list was pretty much exactly what I was thinking.

Although now that Steve mentions it SteveBab has a Tatooine feel to it. Perhaps Steve is half human half Hut and eats small invertibrates from a large glass jar.

The other problem with this divine fortune telling is that there is a big difference between what people want to hear and what they are. People don't like criticism. (hopefully SteveBab doesn't know my address)

Hello,
My sign in name is "MIZZOG",a nickname I obtained while I was working as a nurse on night duty in Essex.The colleague who christeened me with this moniker thought I was a miserable old git at the time,but I think it's more of an affinity with a certain "motorised metal maniac".Your analysis would be appreciated in this respect.
Hope for a reply soon.
Thanks from Marvins No.one fan.

Blonde 5'8" Boyfriend drives an Renault Clio. Likes shopping at Lakeside Thurrock but has recently visited Bluewater and thinks it's great. Penchant for tall black shoes and short black dresses.

Pokemon: Ninetails
Tarot: Ten of Diamonds
Feng Shui: Blue-Water
Colour: Black (but purple is in next season)
Shoe: Stilletto

Hey I'm only kidding. i don't even know if Researcher 175966 is male or female.

Quote "Although now that Steve mentions it SteveBab has a Tatooine feel to it. Perhaps Steve is half human half Hut and eats small invertibrates from a large glass jar."

You know me so well!

I think I got the Pokemon wrong. It may infact be WigglyTuff.

Hey you guys think I am making this stuff up. Search Google for the Pokemon site and the checkout the Pokedex.

Hi, I chose my name for a certain reason, but
can you figure it out?

innovatao

You got it right, Solnushka, I ~am~ an egyptian deity! Well, maybe not, but at least you were close and it was certainly very cool.

I think the answer is no, actually.

But you are, quite clearly, a mad professor. White coat. Einstein's hair. Scary eyes. About 50. Male, in case that isn't clear. You are pottering around a laboratory filled with bubbling glass jars. Something is about to explode...

Sml post (how does one write that). Glad you liked it. I'll have a look at your homepage now...

I believe they call it "simulpost" or "simpost". Not sure though, I'm not very hip when it comes to forums...

Hey I didn't get analysed.
Am I that scary?