h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Elorex and the unnamed two appear outside the bank*

Elorex: Right lads... petty criminal gear, lickety-split..

*they each press a button on their left shoulder, they are now dressed in black and white striped sweaters, black eye masks and black flat caps*

Well done... now... to business....

[Y2K] Can we join you?

[Y3K] We need something to do.

[Y4K] And we can't do it in the other forum.

[Y2C] So we'd like to help you.

[Y3C] We'd be a REAL help.

[Y4C] [under breath] Yeah, for the good guys.

*sea comes to and kicks mewtwo, then goes to join the others in front of the bank*

*evillene unfreezes and follows*

[Mewtwo and Vekura fly over]

[Mewtwo] }I'll be a great help to the superheroes, too!{

[Vekura] {Me, three!}

[They arm their psychic shields, which protects them from everything]

'What's that, mayor O'Brien? The First National Bank is being robbed by a band of evil supervillains? Yes sir, we'll be there at once.' Goodbye'

*suddenly the villains realize this isn't the best time to screw around, and snap to attention*

*Affy crashes through a skylight*

Okay, you Evil Genii and STUMPED affiliates...let's do it right this time.

*Affy sets his OmeGauntlet to "SNOWZAR-Four Hours", and shoots it at the three members of Evil Genii, completely freezing them, except for their heads. Affy walks up to them, menacingly, with his OmeGAuntlet armed in case any of the STUMPED members should try to jump him from behind*

Okay, you Evil Genii...you names. NOW!

*Pulls out his magnum, and waves it threateningly*

*The Doors swing open. In walks an ineffably suave looking man wearing evening dress. He bows*

Hello. Haven't missed anything, have I? No? Good. You evil genii. Can't even string together a convincing bank raid. Honestly. Do carry on, Affy.

[Y2K edges away from the arguing clones, toward the bank vaults]

*Affy hears movement. He twirls around, and shoots the snowzar at the vaults. The entrances to all of the vaults are now sealed with ice*

Now, if we can get back to the names of the THREE FROZEN VILLAINS, I'd really appreciate things...

[Mewtwo] }That one is Elorex.{

*sea, unnoticed to the others, turns her right hand into water and melts the ice. she reaches slowly into her pocket and finds her flame-thrower. she pulls it out, aims at heavy and affy, and fires. two flaming superheroes run screaming around the bank until someone finally finds a fire extinguisher. the two superheroes lay charred upon the floor. the EG have been melted by the heat*

[sea] shall we continue?

From behind a pillar, Uncle presses a button on a remote control. His hologram winks out.

He wlaks up to Y2C and steals his lightsabre from his frozen hand. He ignites the lightsabre. He walks up behind Sea. He holds the lioghtsbare above his head, ready to swing down. He starts to bring the sabre down. Your move.

A Very Wet Elorex: STOP! *everyone freezes in a non-snowzar affiliated way* Better. Now, there's a calm and rational way to resolve this...*sighs*... are you CHOPPERS people always so violent?

Now... lets get this right.. we're attempting to rob the First National Bank... right? And you, as superheros intend to stop us... right? But what you weren't counting on is the fact that this ISN'T the First National Bank...*an Evil Smirk creeps across his face*... in FACT, this isn't a bank AT ALL...*to the other two EG* now boys...

*No 2 and 3 pull out what appear to be oversized channel-changers and start aiming and pressing buttons. Slowly, the fabric of the bank dissappears. The vault, the tills, the staff, even the members of public. A new fabric begins to weave itself. The hall takes on the form of a disused and rundown old warehouse, with exposed and crumbling supports and brickwork and a foul smell. As the transformation works its way down the building towards head-height, cages appear around both the heros and the villains, excepting the ex-EGs. As the fabric completes itself, all notice red crosses where stand, each with their own name written next to them. One of the cages contains Affy and Uncle Heavy, another Sea and Evillene, another the YKlones and Mewtwos.*

Elorex: You see, we've been planning this for a little while. Each of your actions and movements has been carefully monitored. Data has been collated, and in its extrapolation, as you can see, we were able to predict exactly what you'd do and where you'd be. *still smirking evilly* I've always said that you can't beat a good plan...

*looks to the Villains* I'm awfully sorry to do this to partners in crime. But, if you're villains, you're most probably Evil Genii, and if you're Evil Genii, then you have most probably been sent to stop us. HP and I are not exactly on the best of terms *smirk grows slightly*. We couldn't take any chances.... no hard feelings.

*smiles at his two companions, the three stroll towards the exit* If you'll excuse me, ladies and gentlemen... I have some business to attend to... *pokes his head back through the entrance* Oh... and just in case you were thinking of trying any funny stuff... *holds a small, metallic pad with two antennae and a classic Big Red Button* This is a Universal Technology Reverter. It will revert most things to their Dark Age equivalents *still smiling, quite annoyingly*... How could I resist? *head dissappears once more*

*three ex-EGs remove their criminal attire and step out into the dark, lonely streets of Atross City. Elorex turns proudly to the building and with a dainty index finger presses the Big Red Button. There is a collossal rumbling and the ground begins to tremble. The fabric of reality ripples as if crumpled in the wash, then flaps as if being hung out to dry, then stretches as if being vigourously ironed. The trembling stops.

For the record. What has just happened is a time-matter phase shift imbalance. A lot of things seemed to have reverted into haphazard Renaissance creations. This includes all clothes (pick a period).. equipment (eerily, the snowzar has become a catapult with a small block of ice in it. The lightsabres have become a wooden equivalent of the current lightsabre toy, have fun with those ).. and in the case of the Mewtwos... they've seemed to have lost all their abilities except that of flight. The building has also shifted into a more fitting period. The cages, however, have not changed, if anything, the bars and locks have become slightly more menacing. Please note that time-matter phase shift imbalances are not to be tried at home. Stay safe kids

*Elorex watches the warehouse turn into a barn with immense satisfaction. He turns to his fellow villains, smiling. His friends, on the other hand, aren't. They stare at him agog. He stares back. The three of them are now dressed in pantaloons and silly feathered caps. Elorex looks across the street, and the other way, and up and down*

Oh dear...

*Atross City has now become a medieval metropolis. Cottages replace houses, castles replace skyscrapers, carts replace cars... nobody seems any wiser, they continue with their futile (and now fuedal ) lives*

I think we may have gone too far...

*Elorex looks down at his hand, where the Universal Technology Reverter should be, unfortunately, it disappeared in a puff or logic*

*of logic! dammit!

This post has been removed.

[The Mewtwos look at the clones as if to say "Such language" but don't because their psychic powers our out]

*sea looks down at the wooden piece of junk on her belt and sighs*

[sea] it's going to be a LONG day....

My...My tux! It's ruined! [sobs]

*Meanwhile in a lab at Crater Labs, Inc. a warning light flashes on a computer monitor and a device that looks very much like a pager begins to vibrate in GL's pocket. GL pulls out the pager and presses a button. The CLI central computer downloads a message to GL's pager device. GL's brow furrows with concern, he pockets the pager and dashes off to the lab security room. He sits at a monitor and pushes some buttons. The monitor shows the inside of a bank, but the bank is slowly disolving into a warehouse with cages. GL views the rest of the tape, then replays it. He leans back in his chair and thinks hard. He must rescue Affy and Uncle Heavy, but is not sure if the Crater Labs technology can reach them in their time warp. Time warp. Time warp. That's it!!! GL leaps up and runs into the lab containing the broken time machine. He tears out the broken flux capacitor and runs over to the workbench and begins constructing a new circuit. Soon he is lost in his work ... *