h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Philly, Dear...thank you!! This IS just what I needed! I'll bet your darling Auntie has told you some things about me, hey?"
*Pan takes her brandy to the leather sofa in front of the fire place
& lays down for a 'cat' nap* "See you all in my dreams!" *as soon as her head touches the pillow...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...nice and cozy under the hand made blanky, Pandora begins to dream of flying fairy cakes and people who turn into Kittens, lego cars that drive you to stars & a pirate with a secret in his wooden leg*

*Engländer rushes into the kitchen.*

That is a great idea, Bossel, having a Feuerzangenbowle! What rum shall we take? Der gute Pott 54%. A nice dry redwine. That cheep stuff from the Aldi. Oranges, Lemon, Grapes. Cinamon and clove.
Here put this on the rechaud, and I think the rum has got the right tempreture now. The sugerlump in place?(Hast du einen guten Vorschlag für die Übersetzung von Zuckerhut?)

*E watching the rum being lighted, and dripping over the sugar into the red wine. A lovely blue glow coming from the process*

Now this is realy good stuff for a cold day like this!

*Engländer pulls his armchair closer to the fire, taking a big glass of Bowle along*

And now for a story... has noone got a story?

what kinda story do you like?

Sorry folks, I seem to be a bit absent-minded. But hard research work, and not to forget this excellent PGGB kept me a little occupied, so to speak. My dictionary suggests 'sugar-loaf' as a translation.
Anyway, I think I'll pay a visit to the fridge now, my stomach starts grooooowling.

*flutter of wings*

Hi folks,

oops, can someone put this lego disaster away, please, I almost fall over it.

Mhmm, I can smell, that the FZB is ready. Engländer, can I have a cup/glass/Becher, whatever?

Hi MT, maybe you should also try this German punch, it's really good stuff, Yummy!

Bossel, 'sugar-loaf' is okay in my opinion.

Engländer what about a good story from YOU?

*Kasia sits nearby Engländer and looks at him with expectation...*

* Comes in, grabs a glass of FZB and takes place next to Kasia *
Yes, I agree with that. Let's see what kind of story Engländer is looking for!

Yes, Engländer, we are waiting

Thanks for the FZB, Bossel

[Phillia]

*Draws up a rocking chair and sits at the outside of the little group around Englander. Sips her sherry.*

Kasia, this is a very nice sherry.

*Waits for Englander to begin his story.*

::Dragonfly returns from the Church of Erato, feeling satisfied that she did a fine job of repenting for her actions as a cat during the brilliant HALLOWEEN party(Sitting of Kes's lap.. he ehee hee.... )::

::A black cat, the one that apparently Kes had been wondering about, runs to greet her-- she's really one of the three cats that came from the original...... oh my... what a saga this is becoming!!! ::

OH... hello, little one!!!

<--PAN!!! I used to snap beans when I was younger, too!!! YAY!!! Go us!!! Go fresh beans... go traditions that survive in rare places!!! My "spice shop" is a fresh produce stop.... me oh my!!! >

::picks up the kitty and pets it:: Hey... Kes... lookie!!!

::Kes comes over to pet the cat, and has such a look of relief and happiness that she hands him the cat, believing she was the reason he seemed to be at ease::

Come on, Kes, let's share the cat and go join the storytime crowd!!!

*Engländer blushes.*

Well, I´ll have a try.

Once upon a time, in a dark and sinistere corner of the black forest there was a house. It was a pretty large house, with three stores up under the roof and an cellar you could only get to from the outside. It once belonged to a witch, that had taken to being a canibal, but had to move out of the place, so she could pay the morgage. In this house there lived a spider by the name of Friedrich. Friedrich was "friedlich"(that means, he was a peaceful kind of spider, who prefed a fly in his cobweb to any broom, that would take care of leaving a clean enviroment).

One day Friedrich had put up his cobweb in the Kitchen. This usualy was a good hunting ground, but lately there seemed to be but a few flies to take care of in his web. He often tried to take advantage of the open window to the west of the place, the one you could see the castle from on the other side of the valley, but this just did not help a lot. And seeing the castle and thinking of his cousin Friderike, who got the whole range of flies by the score, didn´t help either.

So one day he went up to the attic, where his uncle had had his web, and tried to think about a way to get to better hunting grounds. As he reached the small room, that was right under the top of the roof, he had to find out, that the place was void of cobwebs. An unspidery sight for an attic, and a disgrace for the family, he thought. Who would believe him, if he found anyone to tell?

An Ant came trudging all alone across his path. Now ants used to be a delicatesse for a spider, but that was ages ago. Ants seemed to have learnt a trick about avoiding spiders, with the result, that spiders had forgotten what plesure ants were in the line of a good meal. The ant looked rather surprised at seeing Friedrich, and Friedrich was on the other side of surprise seeing the ant walk the attic on it´s own.

"Good hunting!", the ant proffered, seeing no sense in leaving the initiative with this black mass looming over him. "What can I do for you today?" - Friedrich was surprised. Never ever had he encountered such a worded being, and he could not remember when any other species had wished him "Good hunting". Flatterdly he said: "Oh, thank you, but I was just looking around, you know, and well, being up here, just on this casual drop-in basis..."

The ant was rather indignant at that. "You should be taking care of flies. This is no place for spiders. My officer in comand has been rageing lately about you lot. Fat, not-comitted- to the job, he said. And seems he´s right. There is a whole fly epidemic down in the basement. And you up here, looking as if you´re on holiday!"

Friedrich just couldn´t make eyes and butt out of this. If he had had any psychological training he could have named the situation as a doublebind. But not having any idea about it he asked guiltily: "Well, I would like to help, but, how do I get to the basement?"

"Nothing easier than that. See that mettal plate over there?" - This ant truly was scientificly educated - "Crawl behind it and drop down. I guess you spiders are well equiped for this kind of feat, aren´t you?"

"I should think so", Friedrich replied. He was realy astonished, about the way this ant had his pants on. So he said his farewell, and even forgot to ask, why the ant was alone in the attic, not knowing that Wilbur was in actual fact an special agent of the United Insects in the department for Selective Calculations on the Board of Darwinism.

Slowly Friedrich found a way through a crack behind the mettalplate. There was a ledge, something like a windowsill to a chasm on the far side of it. It was dark. It just reminded him of the stories other spieders had told him about the witch, going about with a duster at full moon, collecting spiderlegs for her potions. He wasn´t sure if this was right. An Ant sending him down a whole to noone-knows-where. It could be spiders hell, some place with birds on the lookout for young spiders on the off chance. It was creepy in here, although he was a creepy fellow himself, he just couldn´t accomodate with the wind howling up this chasm. You could see a dim light, somewhat sprayed, when you looked up. But looking down you saw nothing.

So, he thought, lets give it a try. Slowly he let himself over the precipice, letting out doublestrength thread and securing himself every 20 inches, not knowing where this would end. What if the people living in the house would start a fire? This was the chimney, he was sure. So inch by inch he continued.

In the end he found another ledge simular to the one he had set out on. There, too, was a crack in the wall, and he could get out, and he was happy to hear the whir of wings, the slow murmur of their cleaning noises, and he was happy to have gone through this test. Going down from the top place in house, down to the bottom floor, and being able to hope for good hunting from now on.

Wilbur was happy, too. There was nothing like a job well done for the benifit of all insectkind. And he bustled off to new tasks and new places. And who knows? Perhaps Wilbur is just now crossing new purposes in other places and making sure things go right with other webs.

End of story.

*Engländer sits back, takes a look at the fire, and has a sip of his Bowle.*

::Applauds happily about the INSECT STORY, while Kes explains that he would also applaud, only there's a cat in his arms::

"Wonderful Stuff!!!", he declares!!!

Yes, especially since it was a bout the insect world!!!

*Engländer can´t help smiling. Blushes again.*

Yes - nice story!

*Kes looks from the cat in his lap, to the Dragonfly next to him, getting to grips with this interesting situation. Little bits of memory from the Party pop into place, making him feel like he has just left the party ... without sleeping for the whole night. He sips his punch, and tries to peep at Dragonfly's ankle ... looking for the gold chain*

**explanation: the gold anklet is what the gold collar Kes made for cat-Dragonfly was transferred into when the party ended... **

*Notices that D is looking at him, looking at her ankle ... and quickly tries to change the subject*

Kasia - thanks for the quick lessons in Polish and Punch ... I don't get as much chance to exercise my languages as I'd like, so you'll have to put up with a lot of rust and bad accents ... yes, I do also speak some Italian ... enough of most European languages to wander around without running out of beer or getting arrested

*He strokes the cat, which seems to soothe Dragonfly*

::wonders what Kes had been saying to Kasia in romance languages, and Polish, while she was gone::

::lifts an eyebrow::

::smirks::

::breaks out into laughter::

::doesn't know what she finds funny, which makes her laugh more...::

*..and the cat has just nipped Kes's finger ... *
Ouch! (followed by a few words that were definitely not in languages of romance ...)
Hey! What irks you, dear cat? ... I wouldn't do anything to offend you.
Dragonfly - I think your sudden laughter surprised the poor cat. What brought that on?

No offense to Kasia, but I must admit it was thinking about Polish as a romance language!!!

::to Kasia:: Did you say something about a Name Day!??... That's quite interesting to me!!! Can you please tell us more!??

...the story circle is still set up!!!

::to Kes:: Maybe you should let her down... cats do enjoy wandering, you know!!!

Yes, of course, you're right.
*Puts the cat down. With typical feline perversity, the cat sits at his feet*
I'm being a bit possessive - don't want to lose sight of her again ... but that's silly with a cat. Let's see if the story circle can entertain and educate ..... Is there more of that hot punch left?

::starts to look for the punch while wondering how the cat could be comfortable sitting on Kes's shoes::

Don't you try and start to walk around... she might trip you...