h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Welcome to Crossed Purposes - the Village de la Vavoom Pub!

I'm Kasia, the landlady and these are my friends, who help to run this pub: Mina and Arutha, the barman.

We are serving all sorts of drinks and food, specialities of the place: an original German Weissbier and there is a bright choise of european cuisine.

After entering you can see a most well-appointed Commons Room, in marble and ebony, with a stone-tiled floor of such. Some very beautiful persian kilims are disposed here and there, and a bar, appearing to be of the finest oak runs along one side. Ebony tables and chairs are places here and there, and there is an area containing something rather unusual, but fun, in that it contains bean-bags for lounging.

The Hearth area consists of two large fireplaces, one which contains groupings of armchairs and comfty couches about it for guests, the other is reserved for the dignitaries of Village de la Vavoom.

On the far wall, leading up to the billiards-room is a staircase, going to some guestrooms, and near its base, a door leading to the office, and beside it, the door leading to the powder rooms.

Leading to the back at one end of the bar, the door to the kitchens.

Please, be our guests and do not hesitate to tell us your wishes.

I'm here, reporting for work. Where shall I start?

*floating in, in her usual vague, elf-like manner*

Greetings, all!

Could I have a Y of champagne, please...

*sinks down on beanbag*

Erm, I'll have to go and find where it is kept, as I only just started tonight. It will take me about 9 hours, so if anyone else comes in to serve, it might help to ask again.

~goes off in search of Champagne~

*saunters in and hops up onto a bar next to Titania*
Hiya, can I get a large PGGB?
*looks round the pub*
Goodness, it's lovely here I'm sure you'll be really busy soon...

*The sound of scuffling, panting and scrabbling can be heard outside the pub door, as Gwennie backs into the pub gesticulating furiously to her three dogs who are sitting outside, covered in mud and wet from swimming in the lake*

Sit! No! Stay! Spike, lie down! No, not on Jess' head. Jess, stop growling at Kim. Kim, don't shake there! Oops! Sorry everyone but the door's a bit wet and muddy now!

Hello everyone! My! Isn't this cosy? Oh, I do like the fire places!

*Gwennie aproaches the bar, grappling under her layers of baggy jumpers for her purse*

I don't suppose you have any Tanglefoot on tap, please?

*goof arrives from out of town*

Hi Kasia, good to see this place is open at last, ery nice. Could I get a Tequila? A Sauze Conmemorativo would be Perfect and a pint of your Finest ale.

Has mina skipped work on her first evening?

*goof heads off to sit in one of the comfy chairs near the fireplace*

*flutter of wings - Kasia appears, wearing an evening gown in midnight-blue with small silvery shining stars. Her wings matched in lighter blue*

Hi folks, thank you for coming to the Crossed Purposes Pub. As you can see, we just opened, so be a little bit patient.

Okay then!

Welcome Titania, here is your Y of champagne - does Moet & Chandon suits you?

Nice to see you Tweet' - a special large PGGB is on your way.

Oh, welcome Gwennie - here is your Tanglefoot. And as for your litle ones: next door to the powder rooms is a special one, where you can clean them up - if you wish. BTW: do not hesitate to bring them always with you: we are a animal-friendly pub, you know.

Nice to see you, Goof. Here is the Tequilla and the ale for you - hope you feel comfortable?

Mina will be surely back with us - be patient!

Evening all. Yet another pub to visit. We ought to have a h2g2 pub crawl sometime.

*Nice* idea!
I'm gonna hold you to that y'know

Thank you, Kasia!

M&C will do very nicely...

Cheers everyone!

You welcome, Titania.

G'evening, Peregrin, what do you like to drink?

Thanks Kasia!

*Places her glass of Tanglefoot by one of the fireside chairs near Dr. Goof and exits to clean her three pooches in the doggie powder room*

Look after my pint for me please Dr. Goof. I'll be back with my doggies once they're cleaned up a bit and won't soak everyone if they decide to shake!

Double scotch please. I'm taking a break from beer, I've decided that I can't stand the stuff.

*takes good care of Gwennie's pint*

*sips tequila*

*Kasia purs a double scotch for Peregrin*

Your scotch, Peregrin.

I can understand this beer-break of yours. Although I lived 6 years in Munich, I'm not so for beer myself. But I love Weissbier - it tastes really different, because it is made with a little bit of leaven. You should try it someday, I have the original Weissbier here.

*Gwennie emerges from the doggie powder room with her three relatively clean, large pooches on leads and returns to her seat*

Phew! That was hard work. LIE DOWN! Not you Dr. Goof (or is there something less formal I should call you), I mean these three hounds. Good dogs! Stay!

*Takes a deep swig of her Tanglefoot*

Thanks for drink-sitting for me! *Finishes her drink*

Time for a top up! Dr. Goof, may I treat you to another tequila?

Spike! Leave the nice man's leg alone! LIE DOWN! So sorry, he's part Labrador and in spite of "being done", he's still over sexed (just like his owner!).

Hello everyone,

Kasia. can I have a Paulaner Weissbier and a Tallisker. Think this is the only place on h2g2 where you can get a Weissbier

*takes a barstool, waves to Goof*
Hi Goof, fancy any shoots later on?

Kasia, would you happen to have any Käsewurst?

Käsewurst? I know Fleischkäse but I never heard of that. I'm waiting with great expectations what Kasia might serve