h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*enters*

Waiter! Some popcorn. And a beer.

Is the movie playing again? Good.
*sits down in a comfortable chair*

Bizarre discussion going on here. Have some people been drinking too much?

Baldrick. This is the Celery's thread. Please don't use that word here. Thanks.

As far as the Celery's candidacy goes: He and Dolores met the requirements and are certified candidates. Check with Shazz.

As far as the polls? An opinion poll is just that. It has no bearing on the actual election. Starting August 20 anything can happen. That's the one that matters. I generally have found opinion polls to be a load of... well, you know.

*eats popcorn*

I have to agree. Psychological evaluations and probably treatment will follow. You are double thinking away his death.

Now, a good first step would be to build a memorial

Sadly, Joe is beginning to have difficulty responding, for he has become a penguin.

Waiter! Can I have another....

*realizes that he's speaking to a penguin*

Oops. Sorry, Joe.

See? Now you're accusing me of some slight misunderstanding!
Right, here are the facts (back me up will you Joe, and anyone else who *knows* the two impersonations are dead):

1. The statement at the top of my post did tell all you illiterate folks out there that it was real. Hence, by saying it's a movie, you contradict a post. That's a serious offense.
2. I found the case of a false voting system to be of high interest, and sent it to the San Beta Government for trial. They found it to be true (no, they don't use a jury - REAL EVIDENCE!), and so they gave me the warrent to arrest them. They retaliated, hence I was forced to kill them.
3. The reason I take pleasure in telling people this is so that they can come here and read the few remaining Celery supporters make fools of themselves contradicting posts.
4. The Celery, and Ms Dolores A. Webjello are dead, killed under a higher authoriy than anyone on h2g2.

Look, this is getting silly.
Can't we just pretend this conversation never happened?

Deny to me then that they stop existing once the server goes down. Show me some proof they exists outside h2g2.

Interesting philosophical discussion Big C.

Let's see. You say it's true, therefore it is. It doesn't matter that previous events had established that some of the things you put in your film couldn't have happened. It's all changed because you say it's true.

What a narcissistic universe!

So my question is: Why don't you just announce that you won the election? By your reasoning, it would be true, and we could all go home and celebrate your election as Virtual Prez.

Oh, by the way. You're welcome to continue to believe that The Celery and Webjello don't exist. It doesn't matter to them. They believe in you.

Redbeard, please pass the popcorn.

And what's this ~San Beta Government~ thingy? Something that came to exist in a Big C thread somewhere? How does Big C come to think it has jurisdiction over all of H2G2?

hmmm *entertains thought of a coup over at SBG*

Thanks, Mr. T.

You're right. It IS pretty silly. Actually, this party thread ended some time ago.

Right!

I have been sent here by a personal request from a concerned fellow user, and I must say that I can see why!

What has got into you all?

Let me see if I have understood exactly what is going on here.
The Big C claims, in a lively, but flawed, scenario, that he has just assassinated The Celery, Miss Webjello and possibly Redbeard... or arrested him whatever.
This is perceived to be a rather badly made feature film by one or two others.

I am accused of something... not quite sure what though... and I assume that the paper referred to is the Post?

Sorry if I am being a little vague here... it has been a long day.
Right... firstly

I am answerable to the Towers for this particular campaign as I set it up. I cleary stated that the rules of h2g2 should be adhered to, which means NO swearing in a public forum please!!

Right at the start of the campaign... and in their campaign statement, it was made clear that The Celery and Miss Webjello were web-based creatures, so it should have been obvious that they were accepted as such into the campaign.

It is totally unacceptable to me that fantasy playing should be taken to the extreme which is seems to have been at this stage of the *fun!* campaign.

I AM, whether you choose to believe it or not, trying to be unbiased. All articles sent for publication to the Post with regard to the campaign have been included in the Post, whether or not I agree with them. It stands to reason therefore that the reseachers who put in more, will be in the Post more.

I would, therefore, like to appeal to you ALL, to tone it down!
It was never my intention to see what amounts to a use-net war break out on h2g2.

There is no way that ANY of the candidates can be summararily dismissed from the campaign by another candidate, either by violent or other means... unless they voluntarily choose to withdraw!

I am afraid that, if this doesn't calm down, and I recieve any more concerned emails, I will have no option but to declare the campaign null and void... close it down and remove all the pages from the Post. This would make ME very sad, not to mention quite a few other people who have been watching but not interacting... yes that happens more then you think! It would also mean that I would have to tell Peta, Mark etc exactly WHY, something which I do not relish doing at all.

The alternative is also not very appealing! I could let this carry on and *pick off* offending/ offensive candidates. I am sure that NONE of you really mean to come across like that, but I asked a disinterested party to read through a few of the fora and they certainly formed that impression.

So... come on people. Turn this back into the more genteel campaign it started off as. h2g2 is supposed to be the *friendly* site! Let us try to keep it that way!

shazzPRME

To the Big C - let's say you did kill them. Why? I need a motive before I can make up my mind.

Elect big C and submit every post on h2g2 to the C for approval.

heh heh heh
You never know when he decide you don't exist any more. Better be nice to Big C!

*bares teeth slightly*

Somebody tell the penguin about multiple IDs. Why you think the room goes so quiet after what Baldrick said?

*passes popcorn to Witty*

Here you go, Witty. Good to see you.

Well, I guess as long as we're here, we'll have to pay Chrome for another week's rent anyway, so...

Waiters! Make the entire menu available again! And get me a brandy!

Right!

I have been sent here by a personal request from a concerned fellow user, and I must say that I can see why!

What has got into you all?

Let me see if I have understood exactly what is going on here.
The Big C claims, in a lively, but flawed, scenario, that he has just assassinated The Celery, Miss Webjello and possibly Redbeard... or arrested him whatever.
This is perceived to be a rather badly made feature film by one or two others.

I am accused of something... not quite sure what though... and I assume that the paper referred to is the Post?

Sorry if I am being a little vague here... it has been a long day.
Right... firstly

I am answerable to the Towers for this particular campaign as I set it up. I cleary stated that the rules of h2g2 should be adhered to, which means NO swearing in a public forum please!!

Right at the start of the campaign... and in their campaign statement, it was made clear that The Celery and Miss Webjello were web-based creatures, so it should have been obvious that they were accepted as such into the campaign.

It is totally unacceptable to me that fantasy playing should be taken to the extreme which is seems to have been at this stage of the *fun!* campaign.

I AM, whether you choose to believe it or not, trying to be unbiased. All articles sent for publication to the Post with regard to the campaign have been included in the Post, whether or not I agree with them. It stands to reason therefore that the reseachers who put in more, will be in the Post more.

I would, therefore, like to appeal to you ALL, to tone it down!
It was never my intention to see what amounts to a use-net war break out on h2g2.

There is no way that ANY of the candidates can be summararily dismissed from the campaign by another candidate, either by violent or other means... unless they voluntarily choose to withdraw!

I am afraid that, if this doesn't calm down, and I recieve any more concerned emails, I will have no option but to declare the campaign null and void... close it down and remove all the pages from the Post. This would make ME very sad, not to mention quite a few other people who have been watching but not interacting... yes that happens more then you think! It would also mean that I would have to tell Peta, Mark etc exactly WHY, something which I do not relish doing at all.

The alternative is also not very appealing! I could let this carry on and *pick off* offending/ offensive candidates. I am sure that NONE of you really mean to come across like that, but I asked a disinterested party to read through a few of the fora and they certainly formed that impression.

So... come on people. Turn this back into the more genteel campaign it started off as. h2g2 is supposed to be the *friendly* site! Let us try to keep it that way!

shazzPRME

The important thing is that the electorate understands the links between the creations and those who speak for them. And they don't at the moment. I suspect that most researchers believe that The Celery is another researcher.

So who will be allowed to pretend to be the president? Redbeard? GL? Affy? Lil? Odradek? Titania? Loony? Styx? Will they take turns on a weekly basis?

What happens if someone decides to hijack The Celery character for their own purposes (like Minoova)?

Well, that's clear. Thank you Shazz. Sorry you were disturbed.

Everyone, help yourself to some food and drink. The waiters are at your disposal.

Sorry...I like to change the thread's name!

If you would kindly look over at my User Page, you might learn something about the San Beta Government!

yes, sorry Shazz, but I did this only in fun! There have been so many attempts, I thought it might be fun to wrap it all up! The only thing that annoyed me in this conversation is that they directly contradicted my post! I would have been fine with some other excuse, but the fact that they chose the simple way and just made it into a movie (which, as I said, violates what I said), annoys me.
Can't you be more constructive? Think of some better excuse! Something like where you'ld somehow get Affy's technology to resurect them, protecting them in some sort of field that would stop my Watch from getting at them...it's not hard to think constructively!

Anyway, I'm sorry Shazz, i didn't mean it to get out of hand...I thought it might be fun to put a bit more exitement into the long-dead party, that's all....


I still think they're dead though!

*hands a videotape to Redbeard*

Here, put this on. It's very entertaining and everyone gets to pick the ending they like the best.


Plot Summary for
Murder by Death (1976) Neil Simon

Truman Capote has invited the five greatest detectives to a "dinner and murder." How can they resist? Included are a blind butler, a deaf-mute maid, screams, spinning rooms, secret passages, false identities, and more plot turns and twists than are decently allowed.

Amy, let's go in the lobby, and anyone else who wants to discuss the hijacking, because I think that was a most interesting issue and I would like to talk about it.

Also, we can talk without disturbing the partygoers.