A Conversation for The Squirrel Conspiracy
The ASL needs YOU!
purplejenny Posted Oct 8, 2001
NAME: purplejenny
RANK: private
OTHER TITLES: Minister of Purple, ACE, Muse of Malaprop, 
lady at the Utopia Cafebar
AGE: 25
LOCATION: London UK
SPECIAL SKILLS: giving squirrels the evil eye, ability to run in 4" stilleto heel boots, above average alcoholic aptitudes, warpaint.
KNOWN WEAKNESS: The pot plants in my back yard are a haven for the evil grey squirrels. They are most unwelcome yet persistant visitors. And I'm sure they're watching me...
Reporting for duty!
The ASL needs YOU!
Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League Posted Dec 5, 2001
Private Jiffa joffa Universe Hopper reporting for duty! My skills include talking in a really confusing way so no one has a clue what's going on least of all me and making cups of tea.
The ASL needs YOU!
Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League Posted Dec 5, 2001
Sorry I was appalingly unprepared before!
NAME: Jiffajoffa
RANK: Private
OTHER TITLES: Universe Hopper
AGE: 17
LOCATION: Hertfordshire
SPECIAL SKILLS: Talking in a really confusing way so no one has a clue what's going on least of all me, making cups of tea and the ability to appear confused all the time.
KNOWN WEAKNESSES: Coffee can't stand the stuff!
The ASL needs YOU!
Jed the Humanoid -Keeper of things lost down the back of the sofa-also the Chief Mad Drunken Warrior of the Anti Squirrel League Posted Dec 5, 2001
TEA...YES...I NEED TEA...(for those breaks between beer and vindaloo that is)....and she lives in hertfordshire...oh wait..that's right isn't it...I know her...damn......she'd better make me tea (at least when Christopher isn't available)
The ASL needs YOU!
Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League Posted Dec 7, 2001
I warn you I can only make tea not coffee. However I don't want to put Christopher out of a job so i'll only make it in an emergency. You know those people who in a crisis say "How about a nice cup of tea?" I was born for that role!
The ASL needs YOU!
2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side... Posted Dec 7, 2001
Hmm, couldn't do with a nice cup of tea right sometimes...
The ASL needs YOU!
Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League Posted Dec 8, 2001
Just let me know when 
The ASL needs YOU!
Good Angel - recently become obsessed to the point of psychosis with the film 'Bio-Dome' Posted Jan 1, 2002
Mrs DOYLE? Is that you?
The ASL needs YOU!
Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League Posted Jan 13, 2002
No but she is my role model. Well her tea making skils anyway.
Ah go on, go on, go on!
The ASL needs YOU!
Fred Smith Posted Jan 13, 2002
Can I join this organisation. I believe in every conspiracy theory I find.
The ASL needs YOU!
simply scruff singing a rainbow Posted Jan 13, 2002
go for it fred, we need all the believers we can get!
The ASL needs YOU!
Fred Smith Posted Jan 13, 2002
Thanks, I'll try to fill in that form:
NAME: Fred Smith
RANK: Private
OTHER TITLES: Holy Emperor of Alpha Centuri, Lurker, Keeper of Paranoid Delusions
AGE: 15
LOCATION: Nottingham
SPECIAL SKILLS: Ability to remember pointless conversations
KNOWN WEAKNESSES: Procrastination, ability to loose anything even mildly important.
The ASL needs YOU!
Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League Posted Jan 14, 2002
Welcome Fred Smith! The ability to remember pointless conversations is extremly useful!
The ASL needs YOU!
simply scruff singing a rainbow Posted Jan 14, 2002
ooooooooooh yes.....and random noises. they're important. never know when a good random noise will come in useful.
The ASL needs YOU!
Fred Smith Posted Jan 14, 2002
Thanks I hope to put my skills to good use and find out what squirrels talk about when they are bored.
Random noises are always uselfull.
The ASL needs YOU!
Smilodon Posted Feb 19, 2002
NAME:Smilodon Prefect
ASSISTANT:Cyber dog K-19
OTHER TITLES:Smilo, Darn Cat, Feline Traitor(I'm in the ACF)
Age:16
LOCATION:Luton, England
SPECIAL SKILLS:Treeing, and getting stuck up them
K-19:Infra-Red location
WEAKNESSES:Liable to start washing paws at slightest sign of dirt
K-19:Left diodes can be a problem
The ASL needs YOU!
Balthazar Posted Aug 2, 2002
NAME: RoyBoy
RANK:Private
OTHER TITLES: The 'o' boy uk, BioGuy
SPECIAL SKILS: Enjoys Acting, Good at Biology (particularly Bacteria Cultures) and can fake almost any injury to get off doing rowing
AGE: 15.65
LOCATION: Monmouth, South Wales
WEAKNESSES: bites nails, plays far to many computer games, BIG hair when not combed properly
The ASL needs YOU!
simply scruff singing a rainbow Posted Aug 2, 2002
hey u row, even if u do try and get out of it, welcome aboard
scruff X
The ASL needs YOU!
2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side... Posted Aug 3, 2002
couldn't big hair be viewed as a positive asset in certain circumstances, probably useful for confussing the darn creatures 
Any chance of an emergencey and quick random noise? too many critters around this neighbourhood, i think there are gross-movements of platoons to the North east of the county, there might be an offensive in the design 
The ASL needs YOU!
RMF Art Vandelay: Missing- Presumed Fed[Hero], Join DISF at A925391! Posted Jan 16, 2003
DIE SQUIRILL SCUM!!
NAME: RMF
RANK: PRIVATE
OTHER TITLES:Sporkite, Lord High Thingite Minister of standing around and loking confused, CEO Duckman Industries, Commander- in -cheif Duckman Industries Security Forces
SPECIAL SKILLS: Going insane at inappropriate moments, Know to much about stuff I shouldn't.
AGE:17
WEAKNESSES: See Special Skills
May I help destroy the chattering menace?
RMF
Key: Complain about this post
The ASL needs YOU!
- 21: purplejenny (Oct 8, 2001)
- 22: Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League (Dec 5, 2001)
- 23: Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League (Dec 5, 2001)
- 24: Jed the Humanoid -Keeper of things lost down the back of the sofa-also the Chief Mad Drunken Warrior of the Anti Squirrel League (Dec 5, 2001)
- 25: Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League (Dec 7, 2001)
- 26: 2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side... (Dec 7, 2001)
- 27: Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League (Dec 8, 2001)
- 28: Good Angel - recently become obsessed to the point of psychosis with the film 'Bio-Dome' (Jan 1, 2002)
- 29: Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League (Jan 13, 2002)
- 30: Fred Smith (Jan 13, 2002)
- 31: simply scruff singing a rainbow (Jan 13, 2002)
- 32: Fred Smith (Jan 13, 2002)
- 33: Jiffajoffa Universe Hopper Thingite Minister of Bizarre and Confusing Conversations and Private in the Anti Squirrel League (Jan 14, 2002)
- 34: simply scruff singing a rainbow (Jan 14, 2002)
- 35: Fred Smith (Jan 14, 2002)
- 36: Smilodon (Feb 19, 2002)
- 37: Balthazar (Aug 2, 2002)
- 38: simply scruff singing a rainbow (Aug 2, 2002)
- 39: 2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side... (Aug 3, 2002)
- 40: RMF Art Vandelay: Missing- Presumed Fed[Hero], Join DISF at A925391! (Jan 16, 2003)
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