Introducing the fan...

"...I call up my friend the good angel, but she's out with her ansaphone. She said that she'd love to come help, but the sea will electrocute us all. Nice dream..."

Me me me me me

Hi, Jenni M, Your Friend the Good Angel and one-fingered typist extraordinaire here. I've to tell all you lovely people about myself, so here goes...

I love music more than ANYTHING else in the world, and my favourite bands are Suede, Manic Street Preachers, Angelica, The Sundays, Sons and Daughters, Belle and Sebastian, Ooberman, Mazzy Star, Pixies, Smashing Pumpkins, Cocteau Twins, Hope Of The States, The Jesus And Mary Chain, The Cure, Tori Amos, Weezer, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Stellastarr*, The Libertines, The Smiths, Joy Division and anything else in between; the best gig I've ever seen was either Primal Scream at Glasgow Green, The Libertines at Glasgow Barrowlands or Jane's Addiction at the Glasgow Carling Academy. I am also now a MuG. Don't say you knew that already, what I mean is that I'm a member of the h2g2 Musicians Guild. Yay!

(must do this before I forget...

My birthday is 11/08/1984

11 + 8 + 19 + 8 - 4 = 42. Yesssssss!)

I like trivia: one teacher once told me I had a 'retentive memory', although mainly for completely useless stuff. I also like reading: when I was four, my primary one teacher told my mum I was a natural reader, and I got through Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in one night. The best singular book in the world is The Virgin Suicides (by Jeffrey Eugenides), but I'm obsessed with THHGTTG 'trilogy', the Discworld series and anything Lord Of The Rings related; and I love The Sopranos by Alan Warner (nothing to do with the TV series, it's actually about a girl's school choir), High Fidelity and most Douglas Coupland books.

And the best films in the world (apart from Withnail and I, Edward Scissorhands, Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, Cameron Crowe films, the Monty Python series and anything starring John Cusack) were made in Australia. Strictly Ballroom,Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert, Muriel's Wedding...

I'm now nineteen (when I started this I was sixteen!), I'm a Leo, my birthday's August the 11th, but I actually fit the Pisces profile much better.

I am obsessive compulsive about keeping things even and straight (squint pictures are SO ANNOYING!) and I have an extremely over-protective, strange and anal mother, but no Dad (the wonders of modern technology).

I've lived in Glasgow all my life (mainly around Rutherglen) and I'm at Glasgow Uni doing Politics, Anthropology, and Film and TV; i'm a member of the mighty Queen Magrat Union (that's not it's official name, but it's close enough. We beat the GUU any day) and helper with the (mythical) Jim's Bar Football Team, also one of the people who hover around the centre of all the dark matter in the universe (or Ross McLelland, Guinness Boy as he's otherwise known. When he leaves the bar people actually feel uncomfortable and directionless; to combat this, he never leaves).

I'm also short, out 5'1, henceforth always known as Wee Jenni (or Micro Jenni, or Little Jenni, or Very Very Very Very Small Jenni) and there might still be a photo of me on the Broken Violin website under the writers' section (that was my friend Claire's Idlewild fanzine but she doesn't do it anymore; her new webzine is A Badge Of Friendship ), but i've had my hair cut (above shoulders) and dyed a very nice light strawberry blonde since then and I generally look a lot better. Not so pale...

I love all supernatural creatures (pixies , vampires etc.) but my favourites are mermaids (see 'Shorley Wall' by Ooberman), caused by my love of little nondescript seaside towns (see Largs).

I like cheekbones (Robbie G of King Adora has the best I've ever seen) and skinny boys (ditto above).

Neil Codling ex of Suede (the head in the circle centre right in the pic below) is the most gorgeous person i've ever seen, although currently I also obsess about Johnny Depp, Ashton Kutcher, Pete Doherty and Carl Barat of The Libertines, Ryan Adams and John Cusack. I've been awarded a Keeper title by Archangel Galaxy Babe to make this little obsession of mine official: I am now Keeper of skinny boys with cheekbones who wear mascara.

For the good of mankind everywhere, I suggest that you visit the Anti-Squirrel League, started by the lovely Sick Bob.

I will soon be (I will. I WILL!!!) a Professor at the University Of Mice: Professor of Obsessionology and Useless Trivia.

And, to continue the list of societies which I'm forcing myself upon, I'm an H2G2 Freak as well. Now you can all go and be Freaks! Ahahahahahahahahaha!

Much to the dismay of my more sensible-minded friends, I am also in love with a fictional demon: Anthony James Crowley from the book Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. Possibly I should point out here that he is described in the book as having dark hair, good cheekbones, and able to do weird things with his tongue. This probably says a lot about me.

Totally addicted to bass (players)

Q. What quote best describes you? (Thank you J17 for that question...)

A."Get a bass player. God, I love bass players" - spoken by Michelle Williams as my namesake Jen in Dawson's Creek. I don't watch DC that often, by the way.

Oh, and I want a black cat . Called Dave.

Those obsessions in full

In true Meet The Maker style (I am so determined to get that magazine back. I will be the editor one day. I will! Gaaaah!) I would list my five obsessions as:

1) Quoting from THHGTTG, Discworld books and various films (a favourite is Withnail and I or Monty Python) to confuse other people. And Brass Eye. Oh not a day goes by that we don't refer to being addicted to the cure, or an orgy of slywinking usary, or if they will change their spots (these leopards)...

2) Co-ordinated colours. I have bags, watches and sunglasses in various colours to match every outfit. Disastrously, this culminated in me trying to make a pint that would match my outfit one Sunday at Unplugged. My top was dark menthol green, as were my nails, eyeshadow and jewellery, so I naturally thought my drink should co-ordinate with everything else. Three shots of Midori, a shot of gin, two shots of Bols Blue and a can of Sprite collected in a pint glass later, I felt kinda tipsy.

3) London. Yes I have been there. No I don't want to explain why.

4) Knowing more music or Discworld (or, strangely, Richard E. Grant) trivia than anyone else. I'll admit this isn't true at the moment, but it still gives me a buzz when I remember the title and artist of a song that got to number 23 5 years ago from just a couple of lyrics and a vague melody; and when everyone says "How do you know this stuff?!" It also helps me gain kudos by being able to complete the NME crossword every week.

5) Skinny boys with cheekbones who wear mascara! And eyeliner as well, sometimes. And girly tops. And hipsters. Ian from Lapsus Linguae is a fabulous example, especially as he's always in the QM playing air hockey*.

*They've since taken the damn air hockey table away, but he works in Barfly as well so that's ok

"I will irritate you, I'd kill to imitate you, I'd feel so elevated by you... I want a rock star lover, I want a cock sure lover, I want a rock star lover..." Aceface - King Adora

Take it slow, the music finds you

*Fast Show type voice* This week, I have been mostly listening to:

Hope Of The States - Angels Over Kilburn

Hope Of The States - The Lost Riots (album)

Cat Power - Moon Pix (album)

Stellastarr* - Stellastarr* (album)

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - The Boatman's Call (album)

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Murder Ballads (album)

The Libertines - The Delaney

Faith No More - We Care A Lot

Raymonde - No One Can Hold A Candle To You

Mentions

If you want a mention here, all you have to do is make a request

Kirsty Mushet the Girl From Mars wants me to mention her, so there you go Moshpit. I mentioned you .

Since i've done that I should also mention Susie (gig buddy), the old-skool crowd (Samantha, Sarah, Gillian, Becky, Farrah, Mushet, Chloe), Malcolm (psychological soulmate) and his Hobo Mob (Dave Divine, Alan, Paul, Aileen, Chris, the other Alan who got the Manics to sign a copy of The Holy Bible - the book, not the album), Philly (my bestest bestest friend who's as close to being me as it's possible to get) and Heather, Chris Gibbons (so, the economy eh?), the Scotstoun Massive (Ewan, Sam, Marcus, Sharon, JJ, Kieran, Neil, Andeeeey, Claire), ex-Langside crew, incorporating alumni of St Al's (Euan, Dave, Kirsty, Dochy, Norm, Pauline, Nick, Ali, Carole, Blackie, Kelly, Jonathan, Coia [and Diane and baby who's name i can't spell])the ex-Hutchie peeps (including Smooth Ross - future CIA agent; Max - the funniest person alive, soon to be top DJ; Greg - most gorgeous person I know, like a prettier Ian Curtis and future rock star - or dentist; Innes - far too kind to be anything less than a saint; and Chris - the Tim to my Daisy; also John, Gus, Graham, Murray, Laura...) and the Jim's Bar faithful (Ellie, Jimmy, Jacqui, Nickie, Keir, Kev, Ross, John H, and oh god, too many to even try and mention, but I love you all... most of you anyway)

Another site you may like to try is Chloe's live journal . Many of the people in the above list are mentioned frequently so it may give you a better idea of what we all get up to(if you're that way inclined...) Chloe is also just the coolest person in the world ever anyway and went through the whole King Adora obsession with me. She now lives in London, goes to St Martin's doing Fine Art and follows bands around the country, so her journal is also pretty interesting and beautifully written. I'd suggest that all girly-boy obsessives should read it cos I guarantee that you'll love her.

Also, Sarah, or Esther, who's been my best mate since I was four, is a researcher here too, although she doesn't update her page much. Or at all, now that I check...

And Mark Beaumont from NME, I love you! I love you!You deserve so much better than NME!

Oh, get me away from here, I'm dying, play me a song to set me free

That's about it, so Teeraleeralay and Stay Beautiful! xxx

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