h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As these do not have to be original I will try and find the book which has some great Partical Physics ones in it! (Hadrons crop up on more than one occasion I suspect (see A666173 for Hadrons just to prove I'm not kidding)).

Meantime, an older take on broken hearted.

Hear I sit,
broken hearted.
Paid a penny
and only farted.

Also...

sung to the tune of My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean!

My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
my two skin hangs down to my three.
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
Oh peel back my foreskin for me!

Peel back, peel back, oh peel back my...etc, etc.

Wot, no moderation??

turvy

NOTE TO EMPLOYEES:
Keep this bathroom as disgusting as possible so no one will ever ask to use it again.

Blimey! The most amusing graffiti I ever read (I actually got it from coolsig iirc) isn't on this wall yet...

I ed your mother

(and underneath, in a different handwriting

Go home Dad, you're drunk

~ Owl

My cubicle favourite: Don't beam me up yet Scotty, I'm having a cr

She Loves Skenvoy

"Bongo is somewhat nifty."

*looks at left wall*
For the rules of cubicle tennis look at the other wall
*looks at right wall*
For the rules of cubicle tennis look at the other wall
*looks at left wall*
For the rules of cubicle tennis look at the other wall
*looks at right wall*
For the rules of cubicle tennis look at the other wall
*looks at left wall*

Oh hang on...

I can't smèll anything here!
Am I in the right place?
Hope so.

*examines the bottom of the cubicle door*

It says 'you are now crapping at 45 degrees'

Further up...

"My wife follows me everywhere!"
"I DO NOT!"

On the wall:"Masturbation stunts your growth!"
8 foot higher: "LIAR!!"

Back with more when I'm more awake.

(By the way: Shazz - I have reason to believe at least one of those limericks was pilfered from I'm Sorry I haven't a clue.)

I know this might be an old posting but I felt I should share this one...
It wasn't writen on a wall though...
'twas written on my friends arm:

'The pen is
mightier'

so he walked around all day with the words 'pen is' written on his arm
good reason not to let people write on your arm...

"For a good time, don't call me. I am dull."

Statement on the wall: "My mother made me a homosexual."

Response: "If I send her some yarn, will she make me one too?"

"My mother made me a homosexual."

"If I send her some yarn, will she make me one too?"

Don't be greedy now!?

turvy

*Phoenix stops in, stumbles into the ladies. Nearly misses whizzing on the floor, but manages to get into the stall and unzipped in time. Sighs with relief, grabs a pen from her purse, and writes:

"There once was a young man from Kent
Whose [CENSORED] was incredibly bent.
He had an odd thought
And tied it in a knot,
So instead of coming, he went."

She returns the pen to her purse, wipes, zips, flushes, then exits and washes her hands. Frwons in the mirror and walks away, having stupidly left her purse in the stall.*

In an American cubicle:

"If you voted Bush, you can't take a dump here.
Your -hole is in Washington."