h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Its alright. After the event where the Clique's founders were split along ideals, I created one of these triangles. I later regretted it, and altered the equipment so that it could never be reused the same way, and threw it into a black hole. The plans for the altered version are in the computer databanks. It was originally designed to be a dimesnion hopper, but it didn't go to plan.

Anyway, how go the weapons preparations for the war? Bear in mind we already have laze-pistols and rifles. LeRue has them in the armoury. We need ideas for new and interesting artillery. We can launch stuff from the Orbital One[http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/A3695763], or the USS Nuge [http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/A3754712].

Both are already in orbit. This organisation went through a period of vast overbudgeting, and I decided to have some fun.

*Knocks on the open door. Is wearing a snazzy suit.*

Hi, I signed up (under the name Hussassan) as head of R&D, is that position still available?

maybe we could get some sort of huge missile launcher and throw really heavy things we dont want and are probably broken and/or useless at the enemy

Ooh! Like McGaxs! Or LeRue! LeRue's cracked, anyhoo...

yes......
Or frozen brussle sprouts, an old broken clock, some bricks
y'know, stuff like that

Yeah... I knew that... Anyway. When will this so-called "LeRue cannon" be ready?

well.... give me a couple of days and I'm sure I'll at least have a mock up ready for you

Do ye remeber the last person to mock LeRue?

Remember Patrick?

*Looks around at puzzled faces*

Exactly!

*Polishes his "Founder" badge*

Ah yes, I remember Patrick. I shot him, as I recall.

LeRue, are you willing to have your measurements taken for a project that in no way involves using you as the payload for a missile?

As a matter of fact...

*Whips out a remote control and presses a couple of buttons. A small groups of androids enter the lab and set to work with assorted odds and ends. After a few minutes, they have built what appears to be a wide cylinder connected to a computer terminal.*

Now see, you load your missile, LeRue, or brussels sprouts in here *indicates the hole at the top*, then enter your parameters on this here monitor, and BAM goes what you want to get rid of.

The roof of this lab does open for such matters, right?

Not when I built it!

4 Floors below ground level to avoid a direct hit

We can relocate it to LeRue's office. Its on the very top level to attract a direct hit.

*raises his hand*

I would just like to make a token objection at this point...

Are we using LeRue's office to fill the payload, as I have been developing just the thing for a missile.

yeah, sure.

LeRue, you had a token objection? Let's hear it so I can get on with ignoring it.

... ah... I object...

Objection noted.

*turns away*

When can we open fire?

As soon as I get the payload sorted

I beleve we should leave you boys to figgure out the tragectory,
you'll probably have more fun that way