h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*gives an evaluating look to soeasilyamused and wonders if they should become enemies fighting for the role of the leading lady in S.T.U.M.P.E.D. or unite their skills and beauty to profit the whole organisation*

Oh, anyway, welcome!!
*a smile something in between very cold and very warm*

*gives a winning smile to darth noire*
hey, i'm not here to steal anyone's position, but if you want to be evil supernemeses, so be it! but you were here first and therefore have superiority... i may be evil but i know my place... i've gotten kicked out of enough evil organizations to know that you shouldn't piss off the other members when there are more important things to do, like fishing the good guys!!!
, right???

Heh, heh, heh...

Greetings fellow evil-doers, I am Esoom, I believe some of you may be familiar with my "good twin" Moose.I have come to you to ask for acceptance into your organization to further my own, evil goals. You see, recently Moose was working on a super secret project that would tap the energy of the quantum continuum, however it actvated before it was finished and has sent Moose off to the Mangar. Fortunately it opened a rift and I was able to step between the universe walls.

And so I have lain in wait until this opportunity has presented itself. I would like gain memebership to your organization in order to help my chances at capturing my twin. For you see he is the keeper of the slant of this universe, and it is my mission to take control of it from him. With the power of the slants of two universes, I can open up rifts to other universes and steal their slant as well, until I am the master of the slant of the entire quantum continuum.

That certainly is a diabolical scheme. And speaking as one who has a good alter ego, I'll tell you the evil one definately becomes more fun!

*A huge burst of smoke, accompanied by a sinister sounding mixture of classic rock, classical, and ragtime, followed by a lot of very impressive pyro-technics. The Krylma Leader is home*

Okay, minions, it appears that we're in for a fun hero bashing! I'
m impressed as to the number of new members since I left. I shall get around to putting your names on the main board as soon as my goodly host body finishes his backlog burn. Having not been around in a week, I have an anouncement to make: I was attacked on my home page. I haven't checked it just yet, so I don't know if it was villains attacking Affy, or heroes attacking me. I'll get back to you soon.

*Vanishes in another cloud of smoke*

So as not to alert Moose to my identity I will be taking the title of The Grey Spectre instead of Esoom until further notice...

Good thinking! You'll sure fit in amongst this diabolic lot. We welcome your wickedness.

*Theres a sudden flash of bright light followed by a very hard, heavy, and fast omnious metal style guitar solo. A man in flowing black robes, which sem to absorb all light that touches them, steps out of the flash. A hood covers his face and he steps infront of the group. His voice is unearthly deep and seems to come from every direction as he speaks...*

Greetings all! I come to you to ask for memebership to your group. However, I'll need a little more insight into how you all are running your operations first, if thats alright...if not, live with it and tell me anyway.

Our operations seem to be going something like this-we are currently pretending to be thouroughly engaged in a battle of postings with the super "heroes", which we are loosing at. This, however, is the perfect cover up for our other operations, such as the Mission To Zork forum, breaking my real body out of jail, etc.

BTW, love the cloak and hood. You remind me of the Warlock Krill, one of our allies in the Zork system.

*Happens to be wearing his own cloak and hood*

Well, you see, I must wear this cloak, lest you see my true form, which I assure you, is not pretty...

So anyway, how do I reach this Zork?

I am the third antichrist. I am so goddamn evil you wouldn't beleive The Filth & The Fury that pours from these lips. Enough with the cliched bull, let me in!

*Winces*

Never cared much for antichrists. Even I have certain limits.

Evil Smiley, there are a few links to Zork pages on my user page. I'd recommend The Big Zork Page if you are looking for information on Zork, but I'd recommend The Zork Library if you're looking for conversations with people on the subject of Zork.

Welcome QMike and ES. Black seems to be the "in" colour with us evil ones.

Hey, Affy - do you think you should hold an initiation for the new recruits? After all, we had to go through that gruelling, tortuous, hideous initiation ourselves ...

Lets see, there would be Q, ES, GS, sem and B_D. I think that is all who haven't been initiated. Wait ... did NYC catch the end of our initiation? Can't quite remember.

Yes, NYC was there. HE won't have to do this. Heh heh heh. Anyway, lemme think. A new initiation... okay, how about this: you must pass the same test that you have to pass to enter the Stellar Patrol Of The Third Galactic Union! No, that's not quite insidious enough... Oh, I know! Sitting in a pitch black room for three days. No food, and water only passed in once every few hours. No sound from the outside ever enters, so the only thing you can hear (drum roll, please) is the song "Albuquerque" by Weird Al, playing over and over and over and over and over! When I'm through with you, you'll hate saurkraut! Ha! Will that initiation meet the standards of the last one, GL?

no no no, I'd say that insidious MUZAK coming from all modern public spaces...

Just to inform all dear fellow villains that I will be gone for over a week now - that who-is-not-to-be-named-by-me is going sailing or something, and I just can't let this chance to get rid of her for good to pass me by. So I'll just see you when I've finished this mission!

You cannot force anything on me, foul ones!

*steps out of the seemingly empty shadows*
hahahahaha! your silly initiation will be a breeze... fortunately i am immune to weird al!!!

hey, apparently i have acquired a battle forum... i was hoping to meddle in the affairs of others without getting involved, but oh well, it's a little late for that now. here's the address, don't fish me by mistake! http://www.h2g2.com/F46301?thread=60913 oh yeah, here's the address for the superhero(ine) that gave me that wretched battle forum!!! http://www.h2g2.com/F37118?thread=60764&post=448575

It is I who once was The Evil Smiley, due to some recent events and happenings I must resign my membership to the group, I would taint you in a way you do not want. Good day to you all, and good(bad, whatever) Evil Doing!