h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes, Red, we can start causing havoc. I believe the current mission is to stop the CLI fleet from getting the peace treaty from Zork back to H2G2. And here's the next asset in the mission.

*Claps hands, and a silver, Ampton-ish robot jumps from the ceiling, lands in a crouching position, and glares at Red, who is thrust against the wall by an immense burst of sound waves*

I believe this is the robot that you requested the people at CLI to build for you.

Oh, the heroes league is interested in starting up a light competition. I can't remember how it goes exactly, though. Something like, three heroes have to put a on our page before we notice, but we can stop them by putting in one ourselves. Not too serious, just a little 'warm up' for when we start to really spread terror.

*devilish smile creeps upon face*
ooh, such smilies to be made so evil... he he he (in as Burns-ish as I can get it). But how is this going to happen?

Well supposedly, they just come up to our user page, and in our message center, put a message with absolutely nothing in it except for a winking smiley. Something like this:






And hope we don't notice. If three heroes do this without us noticing, they win. But if we notice and put up a ourselves, then they have to stop. I htink that's it. GL, you were there, so correct me if I made any mistakes, please.

Ok, here is a copy of the rules from the Superheros forum: The rules of engagement: You need to put three separate fishes ><> on a villain's site before they can notice. They can only be released by a winking smiley ;-) from their own side. OK. E.g. if evil Giraffe were still around one of us would go to his forum and simply type > < > (but without the spaces) to achieve ><>. Then another person has to do the same AND if a third person (not either of the first two people) _can_ get the third fish on Evil Giraffe is disabled until he is freed by a winking smiley ; - ) (without spaces) ;-) from a villain and cannot add to his own forum. If he notices the start of the fish attack he can put in a ;-) himself before the second or third fish and the counting starts again. I assume you start a new thread to put the attack fishes in. Hey - here's an idea: lets have a preemptive strike! I am going to put a fish on Uncle Heavy's page. Two others of you do the same and let's freeze him out! Here's the URL for the attack forum: http://www.h2g2.com/F43114?thread=55206

Uncle Heavy is rendered powerless! let us take advantage of this success to unwittingly tell all of our secret plans, so they might be foiled in due time!

The next plan is simple: keep targetting the heroes, until they are overwhelmed.

But in the interest of evil plans, here is what I suggest: As thwe Krylma Leader, I am dependant upon this humanoid body ...

*Motions at Afgncaap5's body*

... to move around in. Now, once he managed to remove me the last time, it made me weak. He has more controll over my actions now. So, there is only one thing to do. Jailbreak. We must save me from my host's clutches. You'll know it when you see it. It's the one that looks like a lizard.

So, are you contemplating another identity on h2g2? Like Red and Black? Cool! What colour are you going to be? Wait ... I know it: Green!

Does that mean I need a villianous id too? And what colour? Oh, I know: Grey. Now, where can I get a free email address ...

Curse your black hearts

A spy!!! Grab 'im!

*In a burst of rage, Affy's body flashes from that of an inventor/adventurer/holistic detective, to that of a dark green lizard. He jumps over to Uncle Heavy, and grabs him, about to spit venom in his eyes. But he suddenly drops Uncle Heavy, and clutches his head*

ARRRGH!!!! You fools! Don't give him a chance to escape! He's ... he ... I ... Uncle Heavy, run! Run for your life!!!

*The Krylma Leader mutates back to Afgncaap5 and falls onto the ground, paralyzed in a contest of wills*

*Runs over and pours some coffee in Affy's mouth*

*Coughs and sputters*

Thanks. Um, ... are you trying to help the Krylma leader of Affy?

*notices that she should have found out about this battle-thing earlier*


Stupid phone bills!

OK, where do I find there heroes?? *frustrated*

I've found the hideously good "vestboy" challenging us to another match. Post at http://www.h2g2.com/F15602?thread=54556 Do your best... *ahem* worst, umm... yeah.

Good. Go and finish him off!

Now, to work on this temporary problem of needing to stabilize myself. Coffee seems to work to force me into submission. What could I do to keep my mind firmly in control until we recapture myself from the detective agency? Hmm... oh, wait a minute. This is almost too easy. Anticoffee! Ha!

Ok, Vestboy got saved after 2 fishes, but I put one on below the saving smiley, so if you guys get 2 more on quickly, we can beat him yet.

Where can we find a list of all the Heros?

Affy, I can think of another option for you. Since you founded STUMPED, perhaps you and the Krymla leader could form a symbiotic relationship, wherein you just let him out whenever it's useful? Kind of like Venom from the Spiderman comics.

/Red

Umm...you'll never get away with it!

Especially if none of you actually have any superbattle forums. Which is frankly, reprehensible. Oh, I see. But even so.

Your days are numbered blahblah

Aren't *you* supposed to put the superbattle forums on *our* pages?

And who can save a disabled hero? Another hero or one of us? There's one "hero" here: http://www.h2g2.com/F35023?thread=58748