A Conversation for H2G2 Space Centre

Mission to Zork Six - Welcome to Elexen!

Post 121

Mew (who is hovering in midair unless otherwise stated)

[OUTTAKE]

[GL regales the crew with tales of the Salami Races]

[GL] So then I --

[Mew abruptly rushes in and gives GL a kiss]

[GL] GAA!


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 122

Dizzy H. Muffin

[The Jelly Problem]

[Link throws his hookshot away and starts eating the jelly; it smacks him upside the head]


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 123

Peet (the Pedantic Punctuation Policeman, Muse of Lateral Programming Ideas, Eggcups-Spurtle-and-Spoonswinner, BBC Cheese Namer & Zaphodista)

[Exterior, Jungle]

* Shot of approaching Hungus. Hungus gets closer. Hungus gets *very* close. Shaking of image as cameraman tries to get his arm out of wriststrap. ECU Hungus. Shot of sky, with cracks across lens. Moaning on soundtrack.


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 124

Dizzy H. Muffin

[Shot of Red and a nameless/ageless/genderneutral adventurer]

[Adventurer] Mysterious Person In Red, where is the Mauve Key?

[Red] Stick it up your nose. [sticks it up Adventurer's nose]

[Adventurer] OW! [hat falls off, revealling Robert DiNero] That wasn't supposed to happen!


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 125

Mew (who is hovering in midair unless otherwise stated)

[Montage of various characters punching other vaerious characters in the gut]


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 126

Garius Lupus

[Interior, Mangar]

Montressor glides down a hallway. YK and Peet round a corner ahead. Montressor raises his arm to fire his snowzar. There is a small "pop" and a flag reading "BANG" pops out of the muzzle. Montressor turns it and looks at it. The camera begins to jiggle as the cameraman starts to laugh. YK and Peet burst out laughing. Montressor starts to shake and tips over, causing his top to spring open, revealing a short actor in hysterics.


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 127

Dizzy H. Muffin

[The montage ended with Y4K punching himself]

[Anyway, the dragon problem. They walk up to the dragon and the scene becomes a FF9 battle scene. Ten seconds of them fighting in this style]


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 128

Afgncaap5

*Show Affy pick up the chunk of Illumynite, gaze at it in wonder, turn around, and fall right into the computer animated quicksand. The Implementors run onto the scene and mock him*


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 129

Garius Lupus

[At Flood Control Dam #3]
The flood gates open and water rushes through. The villians that had been stalking the party of heros is washed away. Camera zooms to show the villians climbing out of the water downstream. The camera show SEA climbing out and shaking her fist towards the heroes. This scene is the same as the final scene, except Sea's wig is on crooked with the side turned slightly towards the front. She pushes it back into place, but overcorrects and it turns to almost cover her face. She swipes at it again and it swivels to completely cover her face. She whips it off and throws it on the ground and glares at the camera.


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 130

Dizzy H. Muffin

[The Space Krakken appears. Suddenly a hand the size of Springfield, Illonois reaches up and starts strangling it]


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 131

Afgncaap5

*The Mangar is approaching the giant Hour Glass Nebula. Suddenly, two tendrils zoom out and begin to pull the Mangar into the eye. The nebula starts spinning, faster and faster and faster! Then it spins right off of the axis, revealing a very surprised looking stagehand*


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 132

Mew (who is hovering in midair unless otherwise stated)

[Mew materializes and knocks the ice wall over. It smashes the room except for the DM; he had the good fortune for the hole to fall around him. Er, I think that's a clear enough explaination


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 133

Dizzy H. Muffin

[I get it.]

[The Mangar flies into the cubeship and explodes. Superimposed caption: "GAME OVER"]


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 134

Mew (who is hovering in midair unless otherwise stated)


Er, does DM stand for Dungeon Master?


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 135

Peet (the Pedantic Punctuation Policeman, Muse of Lateral Programming Ideas, Eggcups-Spurtle-and-Spoonswinner, BBC Cheese Namer & Zaphodista)


That, or Danger Mouse...


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 136

Dizzy H. Muffin


Or Dead Magician...


[Whoever it was] YK, just how old ARE you??

[YK] Oh, I'm about a googleplex. Or to be precise, nine hundred seventy-eight gentillion, three hundred and seventy four pedillion ...


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 137

Afgncaap5


Yes, DM stands for Dungeon Master. But don't think of him as your typical guy who rolls dice and tells how many experience points you get, that's D&D. A Zork Dungeon Master is a much more interesting role to play (I've been one three times over!).


*Show picture of the charging hungus. It trips on a branch, and the costume comes off revealing a very short yak*


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 138

Garius Lupus

The camera zooms in to show one of Affy's pies floating through space near the Raven. The camera pulls back out, but goes too far, clearly showing the wire going up from the pie to a stick, being held by a technician. The technician glances at the camera, winks, then swings the stick so that the pie flys through the air and into Red's face as he sits in a chair at the side of the set. The other actors burst out laughing as Red scrapes whipped cream from his face.


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 139

Dizzy H. Muffin

[YK] [from the previous shot of him] ... five hundred nineteen quillion, six hundred sixty-six villion, three hundred four illion ...


Mission to Zork Outtakes

Post 140

Mew (who is hovering in midair unless otherwise stated)

[To the 1812 Overture, the various starships in the Mangol/Rodentar/STUMPED fleet explode]

BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA DA DUM! [boom] BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA DA DUM! [boom] BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA DA DUM! [boom] BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA DA DUM! [boom] [etc]


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