h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Cringes a little when the scoops of ice cream hit Red Dog.*


You okay, buddy? And are you going to eat all of that?

I'm just thankful that it's not Xmas and no one has ordered Egg Nog

The Orange Button? On an evil robot? Anything could happen!



We really need to stop designing evil robots! We've built more than STUMPED! The cleaning bot, Montressor, Lord Reflection's automaton's, The Planet Smasher 3000 (which was REALLY a bit of poor judgement on my part),....we just need to stop!


*Affy looks for the robot's orange button, spots it, and leaps through the air with his hand outstretched for the improbable little switch. Unfortunately, as the robot is at least twenty feet away, this only serves to make Affy fall onto the ground, face-first. Affy stands again*

My situation has not improved....GL! Do we have any spare PAG?

*Has a fleeting urge to order a cup of molasses, but quickly dismisses it before it can gain hold.*


Maybe when this is all over, we can order a couple of gallons of water to hose you down.

I can't talk now, Affy. I don't want to draw someone's attention. *Cuts eyes at the cleaning bot*


*slowly and carefully fumbles in pocket. Pulls out several sticks of PAG. Selects the "bbq steak" flavour and discretely tosses it to Affy.*

*Makes a valiant effort not to think of pea soup.*

*Affy catches the PAG and examines it. He removes the wrapping and takes aim*

Chew on THIS....oh I'm sorry. That was bad. That was uncalled for....I'll stop using catchphrases someday, I know I will....

*Affy tosses the PAG onto the floor in clear sight of the Cleaning Bot before jumping back into the rafters and edging towards the robot*

Orange Button may work....otherwise, force-feeding it PAG may give us the time we need to think of something....

*Edging through the rafters, hoping to get right over the cleaning bot*

*catches some stray Orchid driven thoughts about pea soup, iced tea, sippin' whisky, strawberry daquiri's, hot toddy's, Jones Soda, Pear Cider, Thick Shakes, Slush Puppies and one sicko thought about a weird Canadian drink combined with Scottish oatcakes. Strangely nothing about Dr Pepper yet*

Hey Red Dog, do you feel like some custard? I could really go for some custard right now. Custard would really hit the spot. Well, it would hit your spot, anyway, heh heh. So, what do you say, then, should we order up some custard?

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm REALLY enjoying this.

By the way, BBC Radio 4 is presenting a dramatization of Terry Pratchet's Mort. I just listened to the second episode, but you can go back and listen to the first one too. They are playing episodes every Tuesday night. Here's a link if anyone wants to listen. It's very good.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/mort.shtml

I hadn't noticed

I am feeling like I need a Dr. Pepper, actually.

IIEM, an extremely large Dr. Pepper please.

*Sidles down the rafter to give Caer some room to stretch, but not so far that she bumps into GDZ and his newly slimy clothing.*

There, is that better? You know, I haven't seen such a mess in here since the time the italics staged a food fight. The cleaning bot got loose then, too. Those were the days.

*catches a wave of Dr Pepper in the kisser*

~splutters~

Ooooo, that's gotta hurt.

*stretches out*

Thanks Witty, that's much better!

*does a bit of Pilates percussive breathing*

Ok, I'm feeling better now, you can move back up.



It's just as well the IIEM doesn't do food because I've got a strong urge for

Thank you IIEM, the banana milkshakes were a splendid refreshment. Could we have fondue for six, please? No, make that 12.

*comes out slowly from behind the counter, hoping that the mess is sufficient to distract the cleaning bot*

*intends to jump on to the counter and hop into the rafters from there, but instead slides and skids on the ice-cream and fondue-covered surface and shoots right into Red Dog and Garius*

*blinded by Fondue, Banana Milkshake, Root Beer and Ice Cream, Dr Pepper, etc, etc fails to notice Lil until the last moment*



*lands prostrate on the floor of the cafe in a puddle and looks up straight at the Bot*

Oh Oh !

Garius lands on top

*the CLI bots are in a corner, placing bets*