h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...yes...but the other productive half is run by EvilMinions who are under me...and therefore are productive...because I am productive and they take after me the productive one which means that actually good things come out of production on the productive side of productivity......productive!

Just drink the bleach already and see if it puts you into a coma!

Quit stalling and drink the bleach already to see if you go into a coma!

*stirred slightly in her niche by the tree, convulsed slightly then quieted*

*Quiets down as not to bring the wrath of Kat upon his poor soul*

*Kat looks down at the book that has appeared in her hand*

Hmmm, Vikram Seth.

*She looks down slightly embarrassed at the two INERT bodies at her feet*

Oh dear, rather forgot what I was doing

*She quickly uncorks a bottle taken from the depths of her tunic and pours a bit down MOWS' and Elwyn's throats and stands back*

They'll be absolutely fine now...no problems at all. Although I may ask Elwyn to brew a cure of pretention

Or even pretension.

Oh and EvilClaw, you may wish to get rid of that extra tail, it may make sitting down uncomfortable. Wait a minute.

*Kat vanishes into a small, dim shed by the side of the mansion before returning with a very small bottle covered in felt*

Okay drink this and the tail should vanish. Nobody else drink it though...terrible things will happen...I promise you.

*Kat gingerly hands it over to EvilClaw*

*peers quizically at bottle*

Simpost and yet how appropriate. *drinks potion* *miraculous recovery*

*sits up and dizzy penguins greet her drowsy self*
That was evil!
*eyes refocuses on Kat*
I forgot that it induces a coma if mixed corrected, much too potent.
*frowned to herself, puzzled*
Had I put too much distilled water from the muslin?
[eagerly]
What is the antidote, how do you make this? Here's some things I never heard of, ahem... I meant use.

*the extraneous tail is disturbingly reabsorbed into EvilClaw* Yeah. I won't do that again.

*looks puzzled*

It was supposed to induce a coma. You didn't do anything wrong in it at all.

And the antidote? Ahhhh that's not for you to know currently. Maybe one day if you rise through the guild...

And EvilClaw...you're right...but imagine what would have happened if I'd given that potion to you when you didn't have an extra tail...or if you didn't have a tail at all!

*other smilies indicating shock and consternation*

...*makes a note to find someone to give the potion to in order to see this effect*

Has the cow drunk the bleach yet?

Kat, Firstly, I am always polite. I defer, of course, to Anthea and Khamsin as my department head, and Guildmistress (not respectively). To my fellow assassins I am politeness itself. Shouting at me does no good, I only get more beligerent and bucholic. If you want more potioniers, get more chemists, we may be few in number, but we make up for it in quality.

My potion worked.

What are you on about?

2 successes, that's prbably a record.

What's next?

Pass the potion to Lab18 in/out tray for analysis?

Hopefully something less chemically related...