h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Sylvia answers the phone and cheerfully greets Lil*

Hi, Sylvia, my name is Lil, and I just encountered someone called Stephanie and she says you did her nanites.

*speaking in a variant of Valley Girl, Lil has spoken with an upward lilt to the intonation contour of her sentence which suggests to the listener that her statement is actually a question in search of confirmation*

Now I've got that tune going round in my head...



Sylvia's mother said...de de de dedum....



I can never remember the rest, was it by Kenny Rogers?

*puts her hand over the mouthpiece* No, wasn't it Dr. Hook?

*Syliva cheerfully confirms knowing Stephanie and having done her nanites*

I'd like to make an appointment, please.

*aside to Caer* I wish you hadn't mentioned that song.

*Sylvia says that she's booked solid through the next month, but she can reschedule for most times after that*

Got it going round your head now?

Did Kenny Rogers sing 'Ruby don't take your love to town' then?

That's fine, because I don't reckon I can be in the area for a while. How about three months ahead?

*aside* Yes, he sang that. But Terry Jacks sang "Seasons in the Sun."

Who is this Sylvia you are talking to? Is she going to get us out of here?

*starts humming Kylie's 'Can't get you out of my head'*

I'm doing holistic detection.

*starts humming "Young Girl" by the Union Gap just a bit louder than Caer*

http://www.cincypost.com/2003/08/18/tune081803.html

*Sylvia says that three months from now looks okay, unless an emergency occurs*

What kind of emergency? I, um, would have to come quite a ways to be there. Oh, and what kind of nanites do you use? Stephanie said that hers were getting loose.

Is Sylvia a scientist? Is she going to get us out of her?

I'd better have another funsize Mars bar, I'm beginning to get excited at the thought of release.

*Kudos yawns sleepily and uses his as a pillow, since the conversation is somehow lulling him to sleep*

*a whistling alien snore is soon heard by the others*

*covering mouthpiece to whisper to Caer* Sylvia is a hairstylist. She did Stephanie's hair. Stephanie is one of our jailers. I have a cunning plan.

*removes hand from mouthpiece*

*wakes up abruptly*

Cunning plan...?

I know a really good mobile hairdresser and she is very fond of animals. But she does get very booked up, the only way is to book the next appointment at the current one.

But I don't suppose she would want to come to a purple place.

*Sylvia says that you'll see a few nanites fall from hair from time to time because they have to latch onto hair in order to do their work properly. When hair falls out, it stands to reason that a few nanites would fall out as well because a good number lack the intelligence to realize when this is happening. However, because nanites can create more nanites, the loss of a few thousand here and there really is no problem. As for what type of emergency, she's unsure of what it would be, otherwise she would prepare for it*