h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'll give you a clue:

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though it might be on those lines .

I'm lost. Hence the need for maps.

I am confused as well. And I'm not running a sanctuary for penguins for them just to go out and cause trouble and then come seek asylum. Go accuse someone else's citizens.

Can I seek asylum somewhere when I'm in trouble?

As long as you don't prey on my penguins, sure.

But you'd better wear a tuxedo so that people don't get suspicious that I'm housing other things as well.

Can do. As long as the penguins don't foul it up.

I hereby declare my bedroom a republic. Equal rights for socks!
It is the People's Republic of Oh My God Aargh What's That.
The capital is Omgawt.
I am the President. However, my lovely assistant president will be Angelina Jolie.
Rock the socks. Roll the socks. Sort the socks. Yeah, baby.

Any notes on population?

Um...yes... they're just invisible...
However, for the benefit of those who can't see invisible HTML, what I forgot to put (in seeable type) was,
Population: Me. My toe clippings. A talking pint glass of pot noodles (GASP at the Prehistoric Pint Glass!). A few crushed spiders who still twitch (SCREAM at the horror of the Zombie Spiders from Under the Floorboards!). And an egg with one eye called "Dave" (The rest of the egg is called "Jimbob"), currently growing other lifeforms as well (SHRIEK at the futuristic civilisation of Mould Monsters as they develope time travel before your very eyes!"

Um, the shortened version should probably be something along the lines of "The prez, a few spiders, and an egg with one eye called Dave."

I think I'll use the shortened version..

There, all done, welcome to the UBC

Break out the party wine!
Only a few thousand more members and we might be put on the map...

We'll get there eventually

Thanks for correcting my gender Unc.

All present and correct (I think)

I put the water/yeast/sugar in an ice cream tub to keep warm. Not enough air it seems and so they're making alcohol. Not good because I wanted to grow them a bit first.

Anyway, the point of all this is to say that the yeast are all to drunk to vote right now so elections for president of the Republic are still on hold. On a lighter note the Republic has obtained a small amount of land in the airing cupboard which it is holdig as a Protectorate. MOst of the yeast has emigrated there.

Expand and conquor

Oh, OMGAWT has just gained some land in a dispute with its sibling, in the form of the County of Staircase. There resideth a little Furby toy.

Nooooooooooooooooo not a Furby! I hope you defeated it