h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*You have arrived at a carpound that contains a number of wierd vehicles. Speeding out of the car pound you glimpse the dust trail of a convert-a-car containing three squabbling Dogs who are [1] trying to work out how to operate the car and [2] keep quiet a loudly protesting Arl who isn`t very happy about the whole thing (again)*

*Remaining in the lot are 10 other vehicles which can be used to pursue the fleeing party*

The Boulder-mobile
The Creepy Coupe
The Crimson Haybailer
The Pink Compact aka The Compact Pussycat
The Army Surplus Special
The Bullet Proof Bomb
The Arkansas Chug-a-bug
The Turbo Terrific
the Buzz Wagon
The Mean Machine

does this car have an extendable boxing glove on it? does it? does it? catch the pidgeon!

*inside the convert-a-car*

Look BBW, if it were that simple Uncle could drive this thing .... I`m telling you that if we press the red button and pull the knobbly lever we`ll get Thrust 2 like acceleration and cool bucket seats. Let me show you.

*presses red button and pulls knobly lever*

*converts into a Skoda*

*shouts to Uncle*

If it doesn`t it does now

*pulls another lever and extends ironing board*

:: drops off BBW and snags(What else?) the Creepy Coupe: a turbocharged, top-heavy BMW Hearse with pompoms lining the cab, a large sign("You Plug "Em, We Plant "EM") in electric (red neon) flashing on the hood, and the litle toy dog on the backwindow with his head bobbing. The bumpersticker reads Official Transportation Vehicle of Mortician's Terror Tales.(A club on Yahoo).::
I'd better not wreck this thing, she thinks as she slides around a corner, or the Mortician's Apprentice will plug and plant me.
[ooc what's the track look like? dirt or asphalt?)

*Uses telekinetic powers to steer the vehicle off the track. While the drivers are trying to figure out what went wrong he hops out of the car in the confusion, still bound hand and foot.*

Cool, the blow to the head seems to have given me my powers back!

*Forgets that he could untie his hands and feet and instead attempts to escape by hopping away from the car as it speeds at breakneck velocity in the other direction*

In attempt to angle around, nearly runs over Arl. Manages to make the turn on 2 tires, snags the hostage, then careens out of control. Hits a bump in the road, s upward(an impressive sight) and makes a complete roll in midair, dumping Arl safely into an empty car. Smashes into a wall, totaling the hearse.
Pan back to see a twisted lump of metal. A broken recording of the death march plays haltingly from somewhere in the vicinity of the tape deck. A small, ghostly voice says "I'm alright." And then, unconvincingly, "I MEANT to do that."
Gas tank explodes. A flaming specter comes stumbling out of the rubble,(Hot! Hot! Hot!) dancing around, busts a move or two. Pulls off sheet and stomps on it.
"That's out."
Looks around, notices the sheet laying in a smoldering ruin at her feet. Fades.

*appears*

*commandeers the compact pussycat as the only cat supporter in residence*

*chases after Arl*

*pops into the passenger seat of the compact pussycat to help in the chase*

I feel like I need an electric guitar, fake cat ears, and a tail... what do you think?

*clicks*

*the gals fins themselves with fake cat ears and tails. Saturn Girl has a guitar*

Don't ask me how I did that. I certainly couldn't do it again

*continues to chase*

Woohoo! Cool! *Saturn Girl leans over the back of the seat, fake tail streaming up in the air and wind as she digs around in back of the compact pussycat for an amp to plug guitar into... Then tunes up, and starts playing some good Arl saving music, for some reason Saturn Girl seems to think that Green Onions fits the bill at the moment.*

*attempts to dance while driving*

*car swerves*

*concentrates on driving*

*While playing, she accidently breaks Guitar string when car swerves... Saturn Girl then leans over seat again, waving tail in air once more while digging for replacement guitar strings. Has trouble finding guitar strings... thus not distracting the driver of the compact pussycat. Finally giving up, and placing the guitar in the back seat for now, Saturn Girl looks back over the seat, but doens't sit down yet. She can see all three mutts fighting in the Convert-a-car, trying to decide how to drive the thing. She shakes her head as she turns forward, and sits on the back of the front passenger seat, leaning forward over the top of the windshild. She then reaches down to the glovebox, and feels around in hopes of finding a pair of binoculars.*

I think they're in the side compartment

*negotiates burned-out wreckage*

*Finds binoculars in side compartment* Thanks....

*looks through binoculars, and starts to scope out the course, and wonders where arl got to.*

*stops*

Where is he? Can you see him?

And why do I feel like I should be wearing sunglasses and a bandanna?

Hmmm... *looks around some more... notices Arl's lying acquardly tied up in another car which isn't moving and otherwise seems to be empty.* Look, he's over there! *points to the car*

I can grab you a pair of sun glasses and a bandanna if you'd like, I think I've dumped my entire wardrobe in the back seat of this little car... *turns and leans into back seat again* Good thing most of my clothes are wrinkle resistant.... May need to toss Arl in back on top of them... hmmm.... Look! *finds a Guess Who CD, and looks over shoulder to see what type of sterio this car has... frowns seeing it doesn't have a CD player... starts to dig for a diskman, and cassett adapter to be able to play the diskman through the car sterio*

*comes to. Remembers to use telekenisis to untie his bonds. Escapes the wreckage, in tact. Refuses to loose any more body parts. Makes his way towards pussycat at a speed no one has ever seen an Arl move at before. Hops in the back window, lands on top of a pile of clothing that fails to be comfortable because he gets a diskman in the small of the back.*

Hi. Were you looking for this?

*Smiles at SaturnGirl and hands here the player, with adapter*

I'm tired of getting hauled around like dead weight. Why don't we chase the Dogs back to their hideout and have a showdown there? That way I can be in charge of my own continuity again.

*takes Diskman, puts in CD, and plugs the adapter into the tape deck. Flips over to track 5 right away, American Woman starts to play*

Well, I'm all for chasing the mutts... but I don't wanna go to their hide out... it'll smell like dog! Not a nice smell.... *reaches in back, feels around under the seat, and pulls out a bone bomb. Triggers it, stands up, and chucks it at the mutts.* How about we make 'em follow us? Then we choose home field, and get a little control over the turf? Olympus might be a nice trip...

Noooooo, I wanna play with my wacky racer for a bit longer .... they took me out of the Alabaster house before I could put tyre tracks in the finely mown lawn and I wanna play here *stamps feet* Dooon`t do it

*back the convert-a-car the arguing continues, the driving does not*

Hey guys, the cats are catching us and we seem to have lost Arl. Where`s the manual for this thing .... I wonder what happens when you pull this toggle, turn this lever and press this red switch marked `DO NOT PRESS` ?

*pulls, turns and presses*

*a hatch opens and an extendable boxing glove smacks Uncle between the eyes*