Celery for President

Created Jul 1, 2000 | Updated Jan 28, 2002

Thanks for all your support!

Who is better able to serve as Virtual President

than a virtual creation?

CELERY FOR PRESIDENT

Campaign Headquarters

WEBJELLO FOR VICE PRESIDENT

full name: Dolores A. Webjello

Candidate Bios and Useful Links

Official Bios for The Celery and Dolores A. Webjello are available at their respective home pages.
Celery/Webjello 2000 Links Celery/Webjello Campaign Press Releases The Celery Home Page Dolores A. Webjello Home Page Friends of Celery/Webjello and Graphics Celery/Webjello Press Conference, Party, and Formal Dinner	Virtual Prez Race Links Virtual Prez Page Rogues Gallery Scandals and Rumors Vote in the Pre-election Poll

3-part investigative report by The Celery which refutes the 7 August report listed below and adds new evidence, plus details on a political tragedy (21 August)
Fanciful political 'report' implicating Celery staff member in the 'poisoning' of Demon Drawer. (7 August)
Society Page: Fashion Report from Celery-Webjello Party (7 August)
Celery holds Press Conference, Party, and Dinner (31 July)
The Prez Elections: The Celery and Ms. Webjello (24 July)
Announcement by The Celery regarding upcoming forum changes (17 July)

Statement from The Celery

Dear Researchers,

The time is finally here. It is time for you to vote for your Virtual Prez of h2g2.

I think it's important for me to mention again that Dolores Webjello and I are not researchers. We are h2g2 creations.
Why is this important?

We do, to some extent, owe our actual existence to researchers, and respect their needs and desires. We have no personal axe to grind, nor are we beholden to special interests. h2g2 is, literally, our home. We want it to be the best place possible.

Do you want a President who may lose their connection to h2g2 simply because of problems with their ISP? Do you want a President who is only on the job at best a few hours a day? One who feels the need to take a vacation 'IRL'?

This is our real life! We are here to serve the h2g2 community 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our ISP is never down. And in cases when h2g2's servers go down, the researcher candidates are shut out, but we're still here. Since we live here, we also have the vision to see the threads that bind this community together in a way no other can.

We have already proved our commitment and our ability to serve. Our defense of h2g2 creations is unmatched and we have provided concrete results with such wonderful sites as the Fish Sanctuary and Playground. We have proved that we are here at all times to face any challenge. We have also proved that few can match our ability to fulfill the requirements of office, through our writing in the Post, and our plans for a Virtual Prez House.

Now we need your help for one small thing. When 21 August arrives, vote for Celery/Webjello. Tell your friends. Spread the word. Virtual creations for Virtual Prez.

Let us serve you.

Sincerely,

- The Celery

Position Statements

I am proud to announce the official unveiling of the new h2g2 Fish Sanctuary and Playground to provide another needed place for some of h2g2's most beloved creations.
Part of the duty of Virtual Prez is to write an occasional column for the Post. While that is important, if elected, I will take that responsibility much further and create a Virtual Prez Home with a complete open-door policy. All researchers and h2g2 creations will be welcome to stop by any time for a drink or a cup of coffee, and some discussion. All will be welcome to air their h2g2-related concerns, real or imagined, and discuss their problems and suggestions.
The Virtual Prez Home will also have a room with a non-stop dance floor, hosted by Dolores. Regardless of your time zone, or day of the week, you'll be able to get a workout on the dance floor, and maybe meet someone interesting!
h2g2 is a place that spans nationalities, cultures, and even galaxies and dimensions. I am a proponent of Pan-Culturalism and Universality.
I am in favor of stronger rights for h2g2 creations.
I will fight for stricter regulations on temperature.
I believe in the importance of continuity in h2g2 forums, and will work to protect continuity while encouraging the incredibly diverse and imaginative locations all across h2g2.
I am in favor of good manners.
I support the efforts of the italics in improving forum structure at h2g2, and will work with them to encourage open and easy communication between all h2g2 entities.
I am appalled by the blatent pandering of some of the other candidates, offering tax cuts and entitlements. Politicians of this type are the ones who will charge you for a drink which should be free, just so they can take credit for giving it to you at a 10% discount.
I believe that anything is possible at h2g2. For example: During a recent encounter on the campaign trail, I was talking to a researcher the other day, and she asked who I would appoint to replace John Lennon in a Beatles reunion if I was elected. It occurred to me: Why should we be satisfied with such a pale substitution? This is h2g2, where anything can happen, so why not bring back the real John Lennon and have a proper Beatles reunion? If elected, I will strive to make this happen, and to begin with, I will work tirelessly for the creation of a 'Strawberry Fields' garden in the Municipal Park.

Imagine!

Read Celery/Webjello 2000 Campaign Press Releases.

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Friends of Celery/Webjello 2000!

Go to our Friends of Celery/Webjello 2000 page to be a part of the movement. On that page, there are graphics you can add to your own page, plus a list of supporters. Join up and get special invitations to campaign parties and other events!

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