Part 3: The Real Tragedy

2 Conversations


This report is part of the h2g2 Prez Campaign and should only be taken seriously within the context of the campaign.




The real tragedy in this case is the kidnapping and mistreatment of a poor, innocent, little cat.


In my mind, the so-called poisoning of Demon Drawer, and the investigative reports themselves, must take a back seat to the overwhelming atrocity recently perpetrated for political gain -- the abduction and abuse of Falstaff, Redbeard's beloved cat.

About Falstaff


Redbeard found Falstaff and his brother when they were five weeks old. They had been mistreated and left out in the winter cold to die. He took them in, cared for them, and brought them back to health, and they have become delightful, fun-loving, and affectionate companions for Redbeard. Their traumatic childhood may be a dim memory in that loving household, but it still exists, and they are shy with strangers until they get to know them well, and are still scared by many things (particularly thunder and people wearing shoes). They are content to remain within his ship and had never left it... until last week.


Redbeard has also worked to keep his cats healthy, with a good veterinarian approved diet, not feeding them 'people' food, and so forth.

The Abduction


Redbeard has always welcomed guests and kept his ship open so people could stop by at any time. His trust was betrayed by Fragilis, a DD&J campaigner who wrote the infamous special report.


Late one night1, Fragilis stole aboard the ship, and lured Falstaff out by feeding him unfamiliar food treats. She then grabbed him, forcibly removed him from the ship, and placed him in dark closet at her home space. She also, at one point, grabbed him by the neck, and later poured water on him. As part of her little night-time commando raid, she coated a treat with a substance and got Falstaff to eat it.


As a result of all this treatment, Falstaff became quite ill. Is it surprising? Eventually, Fragilis returned Falstaff to the ship. Suddenly cautious after Falstaff became sick? Tired of torturing the poor cat? We may never know.

The Evidence

One of the strange things about this is that the abductor seems to show no remorse whatsoever.


She even went so far as to take a picture of herself and the kidnapped cat and display it in the Post!

Additionally, she boasted about the deed in her special report, and left a clear trail2.

If you still have any question that she was the one who did the kidnapping, check out the picture of Fragilis above and compare it to the photo of the kidnapping. She was wearing the same dress in both photos!

The Motive

Fragilis claims that she believed that Redbeard was a poisoner and that the substance she put on the cat treat was that poison. That in itself is horrible enough! Even if Redbeard was a poisoner, would that be sufficient reason to kidnap, abuse, and feed poison to his innocent cat?


Then again, maybe she knew it wasn't poison. After all, when you look at the previous pages here, it's clear that Redbeard was innocent and no poisoning happened. So the question is: Did Fragilis know this? Maybe this explains her concern when Falstaff got sick. She apparently did not know that cats are sensitive to changes in diet and traumatic displacement, and can become quite ill. Or that the spoiled cappuccino which she placed on the treat can contain substances which are toxic to cats.


She did this for her 'story', which leaves one of two options:

  1. She purposely fed what she believed to be poison to an innocent cat.
  2. She knew it wasn't poison, but kidnapped and mistreated an innocent cat belonging to an innocent person, anyway!

Can either of these actions be justified by the desire to prove or manufacture evidence? I think not.

Conclusion


There's no evidence that Demon Drawer or Joanna were aware of this atrocity. And Fragilis probably didn't know any better. They're all good people generally, and I've admired their campaign.


So I'm going to make what may seem to be a strange request: Don't write letters to them about this issue. Don't confront them about it. Dragging them through the mud will do no good, as much as it may make you feel better.


Instead, join with me. Help me with my campaign to protect the rights of all creatures.


Make friends with a cat. Hug a rat. Feed a fish. Find a home for a gnu.


Open up your window, stick your head out and yell: I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to let creatures be treated that way anymore!


Join me. Save the animals. And if I'm elected, stop by the Prez House, and we'll work together to make h2g2 a safe and wonderful place for all creatures!


Thank you.


- The Celery


1Relevant threads are here and here.2See previous footnote

Bookmark on your Personal Space


Entry

A420409

Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


Written and Edited by

Disclaimer

h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more