h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do you have questions for The Celery or Dolores A. Webjello? Here's the chance to ask them. All questions will be answered by the candidates through one of the staff members.

I have a question... I'm just wondering what's Celery's opinion of the Potato??

The Celery is running on a platform of Pan-Culturalism and Universality. He supports beings of all different nationalities, cultures, galaxies, and dimensions. It doesn't matter to him whether a being grows above ground or below ground, whether it has roots or is a root. He embraces both the similarities he shares with the potato and the differences.

And he knows how to spell potato, unlike some political candidates!

I'm very relieved to hear all of that... But what about Celery's stand on religion? Somehow I can't think of him as a Potato Worshipper...?

Certainly not. The Celery supports the rights of individuals to make up their own minds on matters of religion.

But it doesn't worship the Potato? That's too bad... But that's ok, neither does any of the other candidates...

Hmmm... what is this world coming to!??

What views does Celery have regarding the BEATLES?? If I vote for him, will he work on reuniting them!?? And... who will he appoint to take John Lennon's place!??

Thank you.

I have also heard some rumors about Celery's involvement in mixed salads. I understand this just emphasises his Pan-Culturalism and all that... but-- the jokes and (hopefully false) reports are disturbing, if not merely annoying.

Concerned Citizen,
Tabitha

As far as allegations regarding mixed salads... The Celery refuses to dignify such accusations with comment. He has already dealt with similar allegations in the past (see his bio) and has consistently denied any wrongdoing.

Regarding the Beatles...

The Celery is appalled at the notion of appointing a John Lennon replacement for a Beatles reunion. Such a group would not be The Beatles.

This is h2g2, where anything is possible! The Celery instead would prefer that we bring back John Lennon to be in the Beatles and have a true reunion.

"IMAGINE"

The Celery also suggests that as a first step toward this goal, you create an h2g2 'Strawberry Fields'. If you agree, then he will appoint Redbeard (hey, that's me!) to assist with the mosaic work if you wish. Then, if it goes well and The Celery is elected, he will push for Strawberry Fields to be given a prominent location in the community.

I second that. If the Celery-Webjello ticket is elected, we will campaign tirelessly for a "Strawberry Fields" garden to be added to the H2G2 Municipal Park.

OOOO... right on!!!

::walks away most happily::

Does this mean we can count on your support, Dragonfly?

Why are we having to ask questions of Celery surely as an intregal part of h2g2 he would already know all the answers?

H2G2 isn't the Borg, you know.

I know that but I thought that was a main campaign thrust of this campaign. And where's my answer? Clelery claims to be here 24/7 I don't see an answer yet, from the candidate.

The Celery is here 24/7 to serve the researchers and creations at h2g2. That doesn't mean that it would be appropriate or effective for him to spend 24/7 answering silly questions from opposition candidates. That's what his staff is for.

As far as your earlier question...
'Why are we having to ask questions of Celery surely as an intregal part of h2g2 he would already know all the answers? '

You implied that since The Celery is part of h2g2 he should know all the answers. The Celery does not know EVERYTHING. He knows a lot, but could not possibly have access to all information that exists unless the guide was complete (something that cannot ever happen). As to why you should ask questions of The Celery? To learn from him.

Yes, and just because he is always here, and knows alot, doesn't mean he knows what other people might ask, what *they* don't know. For example, how could he predict that you would ask such a ... um ... unusual question?

This is getting quite esoteric.

You have my support...

Thanks, Dragonfly!
BTW, make sure you check out next week's Post. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

YAY!!! I Will!!! And THANK YOU!!!

And Dragonfly, you can get a campaign button (or poster) for your home page here:

http://www.h2g2.com/A385698