h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

with his hands on the keys
and a rope round his knees

Singing "Am I drunk or is it glaucoma?"
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Remember this when I get older

for each wrinkle and line
is a definite sign

I'm a giver & not a withholder!

.........

A dragon from times long ago

Had never, ever seen snow

He heard that "'tis cold
you can pick up and hold"

but t'will vanish near your feiry glow.

================================

The Dragon replied, to this wisdom,

"Well, what can you do with 'em?"

"If you use `em as balls
you can wetten the halls"

But the end results are forbidden.

***

A shape-shifting fool from Hanoi

Was a girl, then a goat, then a boy

then a crab, then a ferret

'Till it just couldn't bear it

...cos' it's twisted back had started to annoy.

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I like monkeys and they like me...

And often we'll chat at the top of a tree

But those nasty gorillas
cause goosebumps and shivers

I shaln't invite them to tea!

I detest the flavor of quince...

The stuff always produces a wince

It's horrid and nasty