h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Santa Claus had a ninth reindeer, whose name was Hugh.

On the foggy night in question, he said, "Won't Hugh guide my sleigh tonight?" Hugh couldn't so Rudolph got the nod.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen - lend me your noses.

How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen Paris Hilton?

you'll never walk again


Liverpool Football Club Anthem

eat one worm

A groat, a groat; My Kingdom for a groat......

A morse, a morse, my kingdom for a morse!

I'm a little teapot short and stout, my psychiatrist says I'm getting better though

If at first you don't succeed
Stay away from sky diving.

eat drink and be merry
for tomorrow you may be fred!

[here's one for Judy Garland fans]



I was born to a drunk in the Princess Theater
in Pocatella, Idaho.

Shakespeare meets Star Trek:
"Live long and Prospero."

Hollywood make up department meets Star Trek:
"Max Factor five, Mr Sulu."

1930's bootlegger meets Star Trek:
"It's like gin, but not as we know it."

Douglas Adams meets Star Trek:
"You cannot fully appreciate the work of Adams until you have read him in the original Klingon."

Isaac McNewton meets Star Trek:
"I cannae change the laws of physics, captain. Hang on a moment, yes I can."

Excellent!!

A triangle has four sides.

A body in motion tends to stay in motion.

A body at rest tends to stay at rest, at least until the alarm clock goes off.

a triangle has 6 sides, three tops and three bottoms

I will make you fishers of lake trout

You cannot get lost in a hypercube.........


GT

She could throw a whirling dervish out of the East Pacific Trash Vortex.