h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Where is Thog, God of ?!

Not that i'm not a believer, but does our God exist?? I starting to think he's made up!!

sorry, i'll go sit and read the bible...

*Goes to the library corner and looks around*

it's not that i don't ing believe, but where is Thog, God of ?!?

I'm sorry, i'll go to the library corner and read the bible...

*goes to the corner and looks around*

*a light breeze smelling faintly of spring flowers wafts throughout the temple, culminating in the throne room. A sparkly glowing cloud appears and hovers to the right of the throne. A lilting melody starts and just as it reaches it's crescendo Michele - First High Priestess of the Temple of appears*





Whew! (she says plopping onto Thog's throne) I need a brew after that performance! (quickly guzzles a and follows up with a handful of beernuts).

Welcome all to the Temple of ! Ye have proven yourself to be y and full of . Thus we will send you forth to amongst the masses. Go forth, spread the joy of and do not be swayed by the less or those with less than you. Be charitable, share the with as many as you can, being mindful not to or but to ! (And come back often to recharge your s whenever you feel like your is draggin'.)

Now, on to Temple business:

Have we received a new shipment of virgins? I specifically asked that a few "Chipendale's" calibre male virgins be tossed into the bunch. (high-fives the Second High Priestess - Batty)

Now, LeviPuma, as to your ing question of the whereabouts of our great and ful God Thog.



Um... we're checking on that and we'll in' get back to you at our earliest ing convenience...

May the be with you!

*coughs and waves away the floral cloud that wafts her way*

My word!!! Michele that was one of the most ful entrances I've seen since our mighty God of was last here...

*starts to wonder if his loinclothiness might need a bondsman or something*

Ooooh!!! The new shipment is here!!!!

*grabs Priestess Batty by her robes, slowing her down enough to in' sprint ahead of her to the virgin delivery truck*



Oh no you don't! Me first- me first!

::wooooooooooooooooooooosh!::

Woaaaaah! Slow down 1st and 2nd High Priestess'!!! Plenty of ing virgins for all!

*spies a particularly attractive blonde virgin*

*trips Michele and attempts to leap over her, flying gracelessly into the arms of a rather stunning Mediterranean God looking virgin*

Woah there girlie type Priestess!! I'm not a virgin nor Mediditerranean looking...GOD like yes!

*gently puts Batty in the arms of the actual Mediterranean GOD looking virgin*

*Promptly falls over into LeviPuma's arms.*

Heh...

Isn't this how our "Party Til The Cops Come Calling" affairs start?? Woohoo!!!

*pokes the "Mediterranean GOD looking virgin" in the ribs causing him to drop Batty like a sack of wet cement*

Who knew he was ticklish?

Then steps around him to the other Mediterranean, scandinavian and assorited "avian" looking godlike virgins behind him...



PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

WOOHOO!!!

I hate it when Michele gets in' virgin envy!

*Passes Batty a box of bandages, and goes off with a Greek-god type.*

Thanks Scan.

*glares at Michele then smiles warmly when she looks*

I stay away from the Greek ones. I married one once.. learned my lesson the hard way..

::looks around::

Well hello in all!

*gives out random 's to one and all*

what's happened to the in virgins? *spies an empty virgin closet*

Sorry... every time I order Michele gets all and goes on a three day bender in the virgin closet. Then we end up with a full virgin recycling bin and a surplus of wait staff..

*comes out of her room looking a little tussled*



Hey Batty - what's with all the wait staff? We need more virgins not more wait staff! Is Virgins-R-Us botching the orders again? And didn't Plastic Squirrel develop a "revirginator"? Knowing him he probably took it with him...

*contemplates how a "revirginator" would even work*

I hope he took it with him! I'm wanting to try another vendor anyway...

*pulls up the Virgin Depot website and orders their variety pack, several reams of paper and a gallon tin of beer nuts*

I really thought it was time for the Goddess of selection. Since the God has gone wanderlusting one supposes (, jerkie and beernuts in abundance offered.)

An empty loincloth is a really disappointing ing thing. Similar to a flat bra. Thank you priestesses have carried on as I was directed here to belong and try I will. God or not. (Isn't THAT ing nervy???)

Oh flapping loincloth, receive these 9 blonde virgins from Cleveland, Ohio; a sheer miracle for they are here an endangered species if over the age of 12. Supple and saucy they be. (Not all natural blondes but you were not explicit.)

I supplicate to and would ask to be another priestess of - Keeper of Naughty, Confusing, Before-Their Time Books, Sex Toys and Edible Underwear. These will comfort and confuse the faithful and the visitors alike. I would really enjoy that.

And if we need a Priestess/Goddess, could it be Batty?

Goddess Batty has such a sweet sound to it...

I've been a Priestess before. Heck I was even a Senior Druid here locally. I have performed ritual blackened and bare-breasted in front of Isaac Bonewitz! LOL

And please tell the ing God of that I will my head off to prove all this. It might be fun!