h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*a large truck arrives outside with a package addressed to Thog, God of and his most able Priestess*

*the truck backs toward the loading dock and a giggling gaggle of blonde virgins of the extra dingy variety go dashing into the temple*

*the note attached says:

Dear Thog [stop]

Found these at Virgins R Us in Chicago [stop] Thought you might like them for your collection [stop] There is a limited shelflife on them so I suggest you them and let them go [stop] Must dash [stop] Am ing my way through the windy city [stop]

Your most loyal ing

Oh that's just y then. *looks to where the God of used to be and s in her mind where he must be now thus teleporting a ing bag of jerky and beernuts to the holy iness*

*goes back to reading her ing book*

*jumps out of the way of the ish stampeding virgins* !! I didn't know there was a ing Virgins R Us in Chicago...
*Calls to the God of * New Arrivals your holy edness!

GOLF

ing golf eh? *ponders the iness of the former statement*

You could call it a GOLFing scent marker !

*congratulates Lurker on ing confusing her past the reasonable ability of general confusion*..Here's your plaque..

LURCHER...please!! for GOLFs sake..

L

Although he is well known for "lurking" also...

Lurcher

oops..ing typos again..it's that ing perception thing..
Will ya forgive me Lurcher?

Consider it done, Q

(Michele knows me too well )

ing thank ya to you and your GOLF

::apprears in his throne with a *WHOOMP!*, sniffing the air suspiciously::

*sniff... sniff*

I EITHER SMELL A ING WET DOG, OR A ING NON-BELIEVER IN HERE...::

::looks about and spies Lurcher::

AH... I SEE... BOTH A WET DOG /AND/ A ING NONBELIEVER!!! HIYA LURCH!

::floats off his throne to land gently beside Lurcher::

Hiya, ya in of a lovin er!!! How tha are ya? Come to in convert, I take it?



Just so's ya know, keep an eye on this till he leaves... he'll use any excuse ta ya, grab your , on the side, and sometimes he'll even try to the s off a , although that doesn't in work very often... oh, and sometimes he's quite in vengeful. Secretly, he's a true er at heart, but just won't ing admit it... even to his own ing self

Well, Lurch, ya old , would love to about and shoot the with you, but as you could probably well see, I've got a few in virgins to sort, sacrifice, , and , so is you don't in mind, I'll catch up with you later on your GOLF COURSE... take me in drift??

ME GOLFing CONVERT!!
NEVER IN MILLION GOLFin` YEARS!!

When you get fed up with all this nonsense...give me a call..Know what I mean

OK then Thog, you GOLF old reprobate, I`ll leave you to carry on GOLFin`..Just make sure you don`t overtax yourself, I`d be distraught if anything GOLF nasty happened to you

Oh yes, I'm in sure, ya old ... you'd in cry yer eyes out, wouldn't you? Well, just ing remember, I've got a plentiinful stash of old Chevys just ready and in waiting for ya... heh heh heh.

*gets a bit confused with the s in one ear and the GOLF in another* so what's this about GOLF ?

*brings some ing tags to mark the ing sacrificial virgins with (from 'ing moron' to 'discard the ing thing') and then goes back to reading her ing book about 'The ing true essence of ' and the like and figures perhaps she should go get a ing outfit for her ing new career..*

::returns to float peacefully beside Quille, swigging and absently munching on some beernuts::

Well, you see, it's like this: The whole ing reason I'm the ing God of is that I was offline for a while, see, and when I came back, I found some comments from Lurcher about "not any withdrawals from the account", or some such like that, so when I got back, I made sure to tell him that my account was again in good ing standing. Well, that led to some other talk, and finally, my First Priestess (I think it was her), called me the God of . I thought it sounded pretty ing good, so I started the hood and the Temple of .
Well, Lurcher has never quite forgiven himself for making me a God, so now he refuses to say . Instead, his expletive word has become GOLF. So you see, he's saying , he just won't admit it to anybody, so he says GOLF instead... he's actually a loyal er at heart, just won't ing admit it.
So... do you need more ing yet, or have you figured that one out by now?

*stares in ed awe* That was just the ing entire history of the wasn't it?
*s out of the ing void of a glass of ing * Like that oh ing master of the ?