h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Very dear Mr/Mrs Unicorn aka Meg,

You are so kind to offer me those lovely Disas. I think that I would like some blue and some red ones. Just a few because they are very rare now.

I shall read the thread of Bernadettes on virgins when I have finished replying to the party-goers. It is beginning to look really exciting don't you think?
Fond
AR1

Poor dear little scaredy cat, (gentle stroke under her chin)

I am soooo glad that you are going to behave yourself. Mr. Beagle has promised to look after you. I think that I am going to have a special parlour where all my feline and canine friends can go and frolic and have a bath, with scented shampoo (and an automatic rubber which defleas them - should they need it). There will also be a lovely sauna where they can dry off gradually. Then a lovely fluffy-up room where their fur can be made light and feathery. I think that it would be a good idea to have some sort of tinselly spray which they can have applied if they wish it.

After that they will be able to enjoy themselves watching the humans and half human/half animals having fun.

I am sure that if you sit quetly on your lovely velvet cushion you will find there will be lots of humans who will be only too pleased to stroke you.

I look forward to meeting you,

AR1

Very dear Wrinkled Rocker,

I have been to ALL the places you mention in the Bushman/San data base. and the Disas I saw were at a waterfall at Fernkloof. I have not yet identified them on their Data Base. But I had absolutely NO idea that there were so many. Fernkloof is a wonderful Flower Reserve, between Hangklip and Hermanus.

Thanks fo much for the information,

Sincerely,

AR1

Dear Christa - the unknown!

I should love you to come to my party as a bakewell tart. Providing you have enough almonds. I love almonds.
Your high heels sound grand but where are you from? It would be interesting to know as I am hoping to have the point of departure for everyone who comes to the big bash.

Sincerely,

AR1

Dear super trouper,

I Love Abba - all four of them. do you think that you could give us a song or two during the cabaret?

Looking forward to seeing you - and you - and you - and you

Sincerely,

AR 1

hi there, thanx for the invite... will try my best to attend....
my name is PAGANMOON and i'm in Lancashire, England.... i'll be coming as my alter-ego the mad witch.... lol.... i'll be wearing a long black lace dress, long black wig, with grey streaks, black pointy hat and riding on my broomstick....
see you there...
paganmoon....

I could come as a Bunny (A in a Bunny suit)
Except I am so sorry, but I do not know when it will be. I've lost my marbles, you see, and can't find much lately.
Would you be so kind as to tell me again where and when?
(Mad as a Hatter, you know)
Lady Karen

From AR1's journal entry:

DATE Friday 23rd May, 2003

TIME 20.00HRS. GMT

You'll have to figure out what that is for your time zone - I had enough trouble figuring out my *own* time zone!

I'd love to attend but had trouble with the costume. I was going to come as a wise woman but see that someone else is doing this. Have just had a stroke of inspiraton as my night shift nears it's end. I'd like to be a cobweb. I won't have to make the costume as lots of that live in my house free of charge should be more than willing to make me one. See you there.

Dear Paganmoon,

Ooh!! A real live witch. that sounds great!.

I hope that your broomstick is very comfortable and look forward to meeting you.

there is a friend coming as a cobweb so please be careful not to sweep her/him away!.

Kind regards

AR1

Very dear Karen,

So glad to know you are coming. I think that Lady Scott has given you all the details about how to reply and I have now received it.

Tender green young carrots - nice crispy lettuce, what else does a young frisky bunny like? Let me know.

Fond
AR1

Very dear Karen,

So glad to know you are coming. I think that Lady Scott has given you all the details about how to reply and I have now received it.

Tender green young carrots - nice crispoy lettuce, what else does a young frisky bunny like? Let me know.

Fond
AR1

Very dear mad meg

So pleased thast you are coming. What a brilliant idea to come as a cobweb!!. You could keep a in a little box that could repair any damage to your marvellous lacework. Incidentally Paganmoon is coming as a witch and is flying in on her broomstick. I have asked her kindly not to sweep you away!!.

I am looking forward to meeting you.

Very sincerely,

AR1

i always tie a pillow round the stick to avoid splinters.... lol...
i promise not to sweep your friend away..... housework isn't my strong point... lol...
bright blessings....
paganmoon..... xxxx

Oh Nooooooo!!! Downt mayk meeee hev a BARTH. Hew ken yew be sow crooool??? Ay hayt barths. Ayv got May own smell end eeet's taykn yeeers tew perfekt.

Ay warnt tew cum tew yor parteee pleeeze tel mee Ay downt hev to be CLEEEEN.

(O end Aym a GURL bytherway - end a vairy cute gurl too).

::does the math:: I *think* the party's starting around 4pm my time ... just when I start work! I hope I'm not too busy then!

I'm a bit worried about the bath. The stroking under the chin is looovvvvllleyyy but water is nasty, and I'm scared of moving air so fluffing up my fur is VERY scary.

I will sit on the velvet cushion and drool into my shiney cup while everyone makes a fuss of me (one at a time please!!) And they can feed me tasty things too.

I'm sure you are looking forward to meeting me, I am very beautiful.

Dear Beagle and Bagpusss,

Of course I do not want you to be frightened at the thought of having to be immersed in water. This is a wonderful waterless water. You do not feel wet at any stage. I know Beagle that you like your particular "Scent" and of course that well not be changed.

Anyone who really loves Beagles never wants their scent to be changed!!

So rest assured that coming to the party will be a very happy experience for everyone - even the canine and feline guests.
With affectionate strokes and pats,

AR1

20 GMT? So that's 12 for me, and 15 for Lady Scott, Shea, and Karen...

And if any menu items are needed at the last minute, I'm planning on bringing a huge basket of mufflewhumps, so we'll be covered

Still no idea what I'm coming as, though...

Ok ready with my costume;

I am coming as a snail with a shell that is made of mother of pearl and acts as a crystal ball. I will be pink and purple otherwise.

I will have antenna that pick up humor, eyes that see auras and reflect the person looking into them. The most delightful scent that attracts, will be apparent. Anyone needing an attitude adjustment will get it on contact from a mysterious & irresistable mist that seems to come and go from nowhere but always in my vicinity. This will ensure a perfect party.

*The mist is better than a trail of slime!* No warnings need accompany the mist, it is entirely harmless herbal tea essence.

I hope I am awake for it!