h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, good, AR1 !

As long as neither of us is going to be eaten, then I can venture into the fish restaurant. I love eating fish myself (littler fish, that is!).

I would be most happy to attend your party AR1.
I hope to still fit into my San Bushman outfit, but I may have to let out the leather thong of the loincloth a trifle. If not, I will have get out my old Civil Servant costume circa 1970 complete with short-sleeve tunic jacket, matching shorts and long socks, black shoes and comb tucked into the right sock just behind the knee. Should that outfit be moth-eaten, I shall put together a newer outfit with a nice bright Madiba (Nelson Mandela) shirt and black trousers.

I can contribute some nice (not too dry) sliced springbok biltong and sticks of dried mutton sausage for the snacks, with Boerewors and Ostrich steaks for the braai. Some nice Cape wines and delicious seedless Orange River table grapes - both red and white. For desserts I'd suggest some fresh real dairy ice cream with lots of Amarula Cream liqueur poured over it and some Rooibos tea - with honey.

If you'd like, I can pop in some good mampoer peach brandy, lots of local lager and fresh fruit juice for the water-wagoners. And for the decorations, a great big bunch of Cape King Proteas with fynbos decoration...

Can I come too? I like to eat fish.

I shall wear a tiara and a large silk gown. I may drool because I do when I'm excited, and AR1's birthday is very exciting.

Bagpuss

Perhaps you'd consider a gilded drool cup?

Oh Hati, big
So glad you can come. Will you float in on a cloud? I hope so. A glorious, fluffy white one!!.


AR1

Hi dear Wrinkled Rocker.

What wonderful memories those deelicious South African delicacies evoke!!

Oooh mampoer peach brandy. I do not thik that I have ever had that!! Do you think you could ask the "peachery" if somewhere they can find some peach champagne? I think that would be a great idea. I am sure that someone must have thought of it before!!.

I think I would like to see a San outfit - together with the Baobab tree that Willem, the pillowcase is coming as, would give a real South African lilt to the party.

I am getting soooooo escited about it that I am quite neglecting my reallife party!! It sounds very boring.

Do you think that I should send out a wonderful Catalina flying boat which some friends have given me to fetch all your lovely things? I am sure that they would be allowed to land on the Vaal Dam in order to collect you. Actually it is a jet-propelled, supersonic flying boat so you would be able to get here in about 15 minuts. The wonders of virtual space travel.!!

sincerely,

AR1

I would love to have a little crown of Disa orchids from Table Mountain. Do you think that you could ask someone if they can find a few for me.? I just love them.

The King Proteas and the fynbos sound great. It would also be great to have a few humble Barberton daisies. This would remind all the great hybridists where the magnificent Gerbera, which are such proud flowers in Europe, and in such beautiful colours, originally came from. Also of course a few sweet-smelling freesias; and Cape Harebells; and Leucospermums, and Arum lilies and osteospermums and, and, and......... Sorry!! I sound very ungracious but goodness me have got wonderful flora in South Africa.

Very dear Zarquhon

so pleased you have realised that at a virtual party we are all safe!!.

But you certainly made me realise that I was virtually offering myself up on a sacrifical oystershell so to speak.!! Forewarned is forearmed as they say in the real world. And a few poisonous spikes and electric shocks should put off the most ambitious fisherman!!.

Much
AR1

Very dear Bagpuss gentle

Of course you can come, but you must be on your best behaviour. I think that the idea of a "drooling" cup which Shea (Marie Antoinette) suggested is an excellent one. You can get over any of your "natural" instincts of the hunt for fish etc. by droooling into your beautiful jewel-encrusted drooling cup.!!

I think you should wear a really smashing gown - perhaps you could let your imagination run riot about that, and what colours you are going to have your fur tinted, It would certainly make all of us "fishy" creatures feel safer if we knew that you were very busy preening yourself!!.

Looking forward to meeting you.

AR1

Ay weeel mayk shure Bagpuss behayvs herself eef yew say Ay may cum tew yor partee AR1. Aym soree abowt may spelleeng but Beagles down't get much skooling.

Ay weel behayv mayself end not chays anytheeng or drool (much) but Ay wud layk to eet lots of FUD pleez. Ay laik fud.

Ay weel cum een a black-tan-white fur cowt weeth a party collr end Ay weel look vairy beyewtiful in yor honor. Yew ken seem May pictur on May personal spayc.

Ay weel breeng yew a geeft of exotic Sowth Efrican froots. Ay downt eet froot so Ay ken do thet.

Lots of luv end liks.

The Beagle

This is such fun!

AR1, I can bring you Disa orchids from Table Mountain - and any other flowers you like - in garlands around my neck. I can bring magical flowers too, which confer health, happiness, joy, prosperity and long life. Just state your preferred colours...

Incidentally, Bernadette has written a lovely article on 'Types of Virgin for the 21st century' or something like that on A1053307.

I will behave. I like the idea of a drool cup becasue it's all very exciting. I shall bring a shiny one.

I will wear a pink silk gown with a blue ribbon to set off my fur. I am VERY furry because I am vast and also very pretty. I promise I won't eat of the fish or mermaids because they will scare me. Unless it comes out of a tin. I am a scardy cat, you see. But I loooove being stroked and brushed (it makes me drool a LOT).

I can't spell either, but I don't even try because dictate what I want to say to the staff.

Yes, but what if the staff can't spell either?!

For San (bushman) look at:
http://www.africatoursonline.com/1bman18.html
Disa lily? Try:
http://fernkloof.com/species2.mv?Disa%20bivalvata
Or search through:
http://www.ananzi.co.za/
Lots of lekker Sowfafrican stuff!

Even more flowers at http://www.fernkloof.com/searchflower.mv?search

Hello AR1, just got wind of your party.

I might come as a bakewell tart (which is no help on the virgin thing).

There will be high heels.

Christa, x

Naturally I shall be attending the party as all four members of ABBA. I've not quite got the hang of bi-location so attending the same party as four different people will be an interesting challenge. But if you all drink enoughit could be easier than I first thought.....

If you're counting on us all being enough to see 4 of you, wouldn't you be the same Abba?

Darn it.

Speaking as someone who had a large glass of Swedish Schnapps after taking anti-flu medicine (I know, I know but I was very young) you might well see all four different members. I did - and they weren't even famous then.

I fell down a lot too.

Dear Mr. Beagle,

U r a very well-behayved beagle Aay think. Aay will b pleezed if u look after Bagpuss. So pleeze cum to my party.

There will b lots of luvely fud 4 u.

With a gentle scratch on your white blayze,
AR1