h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*realizes the party is the day after tomorrow and she's not officially RSVPd yet*

*also realizes she still hasn't decided on a costume*

*thinks*



I'll come as a scribble! I should have time to draw *that* on between now and then I just hope it's not so busy at w*rk that I can't come (I'm leaving early that day, too...)

I think it's safe to say that I'm disqualified as a virgin, as well Considering that I just got kicked hard, yep, definitely disqualified

Darn it, now I can't tease Baggy anymore about not noticing that there's more posts...

Oh, wait, if I use my usual excuse, I can! Especially since he can't use it

I plead preggie-brain-rot

party is the 23rd isn't it? Today's only the 14th

Wonderful Lady Scott!!

I only hope that it is not too painfuol!

But order yourself a splendid tiara - and what colour will your bathing costume be?
Much affection

AR1

Very dear Bernadette,

I never dreamt that my 75th birthday party would also be a discussion the pros and cons of virgins - used or unused!!.

However , as the arguments get more and more dense, I am becoming more and more befuddled.!!

Hope you decide on your costume soon.
With much affection

AR1

Dear Michelle,

The picnic table sounds great though cumbersome.

M.L. would not do you justice. I love all your other suggestions, but fear if you come as brocolli someone might just come as a rabbit and ear you up. That would be dreadful,

Keep on thinking gal.



AR1

















1
Much

Shea dear

Oh dear, how uncomfortable

How on earth could we talk to you if you had lost your lovely head before you arrived?
Now go and find yourself a wonderful wig. I am getting mine flown over from the states. they make wonderful mermaid wigs there. so I am sure that they can make one for the queen of France - before she was beheaded!!.
Much

AR1

Besides I have ordered your special meal already from La Tour d'argent, and you will not appreciate it half as much without your head.

Very dear Batty

(whispering) It took me ages to work that one out. I had a very romanticised idea about s. I thought they just howled when the moon was full. How stupid can one be!. Fortunately my fins protected me and I was able to swim away very fast. I don't know why I bother now!!


AR1
Do you think that our host might come dressed as a real live ? But he might be torn to shreds by all the virgins which we are getting for Meg. And that would be tragic.

Quite safe my very dear Amy, to say that you are not a virgin, particularly when you are kicked as a result!! Although probably not all would be as happy as you both are!1.

Dear heart. The party is the 23rd of May..NEXT Friday. So you still have lots of time to plan your costume.

Please remember that I have to order suitable food for you and I do not know if the other guests would appreciate printers ink nad Tippex for the birthday meal if you come as a scribble. At least no one would want to take it from you!!. .

with affetion,
AR1

Absolutely correct dear Batty,
I have just pointed it out to her. Hope she has the birth dateof the new baby right!!

Also Ran !

Well, then, I'll come up with a better costume, and I'll be able to come after all, though I might be late

Oh, the liposuction is long overdue anyway, and so much easier than dieting and exercise, don't you think? I've always wanted longer legs anyway, so this seems like the perfect time to have that done too.

Now as for the tiara, I was thinking it should have no less than 40 carats total weight of diamonds.

I forgot to mention that I will also need to find a typical Miss America cape to wear as part of my costume, also. And then there's the scepter, and the 2 dozen red roses I need to carry.

I wonder if I can manage the running mascara from crying on my own? Everyone knows that all Miss Americas cry as soon as they win. Better not leave it to chance. I could have my makeup specially done with tear stains.

The swimsuit will be red, my favorite color, and cut demurely enough to impress a panel of impartial judges, of course.

Oh, I need 4 inch heels! (Doesn't *everyone* go swimming in 4 inch heels?)

*s to buy some high heeled shoes with pointy toes*

(obviously I won't be able to when I'm wearing them!)

I'll come as a... umm... err... ooh, I'll put on my Princess Leia outfit again. My hair's not quite long enough to do it anymore, but we can pretend.

AR1... do you think would be wise to serve the haggis made out of wolves stomach? I mean, seeing as how some of your guests will be of the wolf persuasion?

By the way Lady Scott - how's the liposuction and leg lengthening coming along?

I think I've decided to come as a rather largish dustbunny! Unless of course that would upset too many of the other guests allergies... hmmm... maybe more thought should be put into this choice...

*strolls off to ponder more costumes*

~ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-CHOO!!!!!!!~


'scuse me.


Must be some dust floating around in the air here...



The liposuction and leg lengthening are going *virtually* well. I should be in fine shape in time for the party.

I feel a short article with virgin definitions coming on....Give me a day or two.

Looking forward to the virgin definitions article...

By way of digression, I used to be president of the Ex-Trollops club of the UK but then, unfortunately, I was re-trolloped by the sudden departure of my husband. )Actually the re-trolloping part was the best thing about it) ...but...anyway, even though I have finished trolloping again (hopefully for life) I cannot reclaim my former glory as a friend of mine who was a very impressive and successful trollop went and captivated a monk who ex-monked himself and married her.

You can't beat a top-drawer de-trolloping like that!

My unicorn costume is complete, with real pearl horn and silken mane and tail. The Milk of Human Kindness is very pleasant but only in small doses as it does make one fart which is offputting for other partygoers...so I am still hoping for at least one virgin (male or female is fine).

For these purposes, a virgin is someone who has never had sex in this lifetime. Used, recovering and all other categories of virgins, while worthwhile and interesting in their own way are simply not on.

However, the virgin can stop being a virgin as soon as he or she wants after I have laid my head in their lap and adored them. So that could hot the party up a bit AR1!

Have settle on the Angel Card, AR1. I have lots of noisy accessories and sparkly things.

(My brother-in-law once went to a fancy dress party as a (new) tampon. I might leave him behind, if that's OK.)

I have decided on my costume, I'm coming as 'The Last Straw'

I shall be wearing a bikini top and a grass skirt, except that the grass will be paper drinking straws.

On my head will be a drinking straw box with just one straw in it.

*goes to have a lie down as the effort of thinking and colouring in her design has worn her out*

I know someone who went to a fancy dress party with two lavatory seats around his neck and a knapsack. He also wore walking boots on his knees and walked around on them.

Who was he? Yes, you're right...Two Loos le Trek.