h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

X marks the ??

You know if you hold your left hand up in front of your face with the thumb stretched out, it makes an 'L;' shape? Whereas the right hand is the wrong way round and doesn't? .. this helps me
(the one who gets all the questions right in IQ tests bar the visio spatial awareness ones) .. although people do look at you strangely when you're trying to give directions.


I'm also told this is very similar to an abusive gesture in greek, so don't try to give directions to greek peopel using my technique or you might get shouted at.

I ANDROKTONE
(trying very hard to be helpful but its a bit early in the morning)

Light--I know my ring method wouldn't work for you That's why I said I've got it easier... I think my problems with left and right are more to do with laziness, actually, as, if I think about it for a second, I don't have a problem... Of course, sometimes you don't *have* that second... I figure there's probably a little switch in my head somewhere... Maybe even near that little switch I've been assured exists that makes it so that, when other people look through binoculars, they see only one image, not two (or so they tell me... Maybe 'they' were lying...)

Pod

everyone
Hi ANDROKTONE! Long time, no see...

I'm going to avoid giving advice on
this topic, as we Americans use the
left hand for giving turn signals.
I assume that the English use their
right hands?

I don't know...
Which hand is the right one again?
I tried to make an L, but it hurt so I put my thumb back in its proper place...

Left is the side *you* drive on (except for one way streets, where you can dive either side) so right is the other side...

* goes to look for the X and the *

*Fetches a wheelbarrow and follows Light, who seems to know where she is going... *

* wonders why a wheelbarrow is following her *

* crosses the road *

* the wheelbarrow follows *

*picks up a watering can and follows, dropping roses out of her pocket, in the mistaken belief that Pod and Light are going to do some gardening...*

... wait for me....




Hello amy i've been hibernating

That would explain the 'Do Not Disturb' sign that's been on your box...

Is there a map on my back?

and i've been hibernating. where's my stuff from gap?

Gap, Roo?

Amy, there is a map on your back!
Unfortunately it is a map of Basildon, a small town in Essex, England.

Androktone, welcome back from the box we might be doing some gardening, but it depends on how much gets drunk first...

Now, where's Light got to? Last time I saw here she was crossing this road...

*Steps out and narrowly avoids being run over by a huge articulated truck transporting fish fingers at high speed to Tesco's*

Damn.. thats the third time that has happened...

Oh, so it's not the map to the ?

*Pod slowly reaches into the recesses of his brain and finds a 2. Then he rummages about a bit and finds another 2. Very slowly and with a lot of effort, Pod puts 2 and 2 together....*



The champaign! Its buried somewhere in Basildon! Right then, where's the bus stop?

* waves from bus 22 on the way to Basildon *

* thinks there must be something good about Basildon and maybe she has finally discovered its secret *

*laughs quietly to himself*

* wonders why Plato is on the bus to Basildon *

Enjoying the trip Plato?

Right, hope we haven't missed anyone. No one should miss an opportunity to see Basildon!

I think everyone is here Pod!

I dont know Basildon! Will we get a guided tour? What are the main sights to see?

Should we find the first?

Oh I've travelled the world,
and had lots of fun,
but it won't mean nothing,
'till I've set eyes on Basildon..