h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* sips Bucks Fizz and watches POD and the Frogs *

* thinks that sounds like a childrens story. Are you sitting comfortably, then I will begin. Once upon a time ... *

* wonders if she should actually *do* something to help POD *

* sips Bucks Fizz and watches POD and the Frogs *

* thinks that sounds like a childrens story. Are you sitting comfortably, then I will begin. Once upon a time ... *

* wonders if she should actually *do* something to help POD *

Need a hand there Pod?

I think I might have a frogeating in here somewhere.

I ANDROKTONE

Pod and The Frogs.

Are you sitting comfortably?
Then I shall begin...

Once upon a time, there was a happy land full of happy people. Everybody had sandwiches and none of the shopping bags burst and the video recorders always got the right programme and never the tennis by accident, and ice cream tasted lovely and the birds sang songs by Palestrina and William Byrd and "Utterly Butterly" had never happened. There was only one problem with this lovely land: a mysterious but nonetheless complete absence of frogs. In the main, nobody could care less about this. But for the princesses of the land it was a real disaster, as there was nothing to kiss and in such a manner transform into a prince. They had to settle for used car salesmen and poor but sruggling egomaniac poets instead. It wasn't too bad, but, you know- since everything else was perfect- it seemed that the princesses had drawn a straw that was so short as to be almost non-existant. So the all ran and pestered the king, who was annoyed because he was trying to read the paper. The king called on his faithful servant Pod (me! that's me!!! me!!!!!). He said ... "Listen Pod, I can't get a moment's peace.. nip out and find us some frogs will ya?". Pod jumped onto his horse and rode and rode. He looked in ponds and under stones... finally he came to the hovel of a wiseman.. "Oh wiseman! I need to find some frogs! Where can I find them???" The wiseman scratched his head and looked puzzled. "Why don't you try the Internet"? He asked. So Pod borrowed his computer and logged into "www.Frogs-Pawned.com". His eyes widened... "Wow... so many different kinds!". "Yes", said the wiseman, "And some of them can play the banjo... you know, like on Bagpuss...". Pod nodded, just to appease him, as he hadn't a clue what the old chap was blathering about. He ordered 200 tree creeping frogs, a dozen cherrywhizzle ribbeters and a thousand common or garden "guarunteed to turn into a prince" frogs. He entered his credit card details, rode back and told the princesses that in 48 hours, the frogs would be delivered to the castle in a huge jiffy bag. The king was very grateful and gave Pod a biscuit. And the princesses all found princes, and everyone was very very happy again, until a Chas and Dave turned up and ruined it all with their popular cockney beat tunes...

The end.

May I have a drink now?

I think that deserves a bit more than one...



Great story, man!

*fixes a special with a blue umbrella for Light, then realises he has been left with the pink one, so he throws it over his shoulder when no-one is looking*

* sips drink *

* pokes her eye on the umbrella *

Fantastic story POD

Ouch Light that must have hurt!

At least now I will have an excuse to wear a patch on board the Ship!

*bows*
Sips
You would look rather fetching with a patch, Lighthouse ...

Does anyone else know any stories, songs, dance routines, verbal ticks or interesting things to do with frogs??

* considers telling about the frog which opens bottles of wine at Lighthouse HQ but decides its not that interesting a story! *

They make funny noises when you step on them!

Sorry everyone, i've been a little absent from h2g2 for a while, teh only frog related story i know is that nasty nasty joke (what goes from green to red at the flick of a switch - a frog in a blender)

* sips drink *

*jumps up from chair*

Oh- hello Lighthouse

You gave me a scare there ... nothing but silence for five days, then suddenly, you sipped your drink 8)

I guess this isn't exactly the most "happening" of fan clubs eh?

I mean, I'm well stocked up on cocoa and newspapers ... and I've done some interesting paintings of the local scenery ... but no one seems interested any more ...

I guess I should just shuffle off, into this corner, and stand here, counting my change, to see if I have enough left for a cheese and pickle sandwich...

Is there anything you would like from the corner shop?
That's me these days ... the Pod that goes to the shops...

...and i'm back

Hi Roo - where've you been?
Do you want anything from the shops?

Pod

But with a doorway to The Source of All Mufflewhumps, why do you need to go shopping? Unless, of course, your slave needs something... Mufflewhumps only seem to work on h2g2...

I know, I think it is just that my slave likes to go shopping... He's like that, you know ... a bit odd..
8)

POD!

Done any etchings Can I see them

I dont need anything from the shops thank you POD's slave, oh except maybe a diet cola ...

everyone

Light!

*does a little dance*

I brought back some diet cola, car wax, cheese and string...