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Big floppy dogs and small yappy dogs.
Posted Feb 9, 2002
Dogs.
They come in two types.
You get big floppy happy-go-lucky type dogs, who are a bit dim and foolish but generally quite ok.
And
You get small uptight yappy little b*****ds that bite your ankles.
Many of us take this for granted.
We go to work, eat lunch, come home, watch telly, go to bed.
Never give it a second thought.
But, this situation is purely the result of random genetics.
Imagine it was the other way around..
Imagine dogs came in these types:
Small floppy happy-go-lucky types
and
Big uptight yappy large b**t**ds that bite your ankles.
Ponder that, and don't mention Darwin.
Or Napoleon.
Or Barbara Woodhouse.
Actually, whatever happened to Barbara Woodhouse?
Did she used to go home to her big mansion and sit down in a huge chair and wonder why, when she had devoted her life to giving dogs a sense of security and purpose, that she had random chaos and dog food adds to cope with?
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Feb 9, 2002
Police Aware.
Posted Feb 9, 2002
In my current country of residence, the police like to put big stickers on cars. The stickers say, in big letters, "Police aware". If a car hasn't moved for three weeks and has a broken window and no hub caps, the police will come along and put one of these stickers on it. Then, I guess they go back to their offices and sit back and proudly think to themselves,
"Well, now everyone knows we are aware of that car. We spotted it. We became aware of it. We are aware of it. And we have told the world. Job done."
This is all well and good, but what happens if they start getting over excited and realise that they are aware of much more stuff than just cars? What happens when they go mad and put these stickers on everything? Trees, houses, dogs, nurses and students for example? How could we stop them? Well, we could call the police, but... ahhhhhh... you see?
I think there are two answers to this problem.
One: Confuse the police. Phone them up one day and ask "You know that car in Acacia avenue with the missing door? Well, what colour is it then? Eh?"
This might work, but I don't know. The police are very busy and always worry about what sandwiches to bring for lunch, so they might pretend to care about your phone call but they probably won't really..
Two: Bring everyone else into the game. Encourage other professions. You would get school kids with "Teachers aware" on their backs, or donuts with "Baker aware" etc... This is also unlikely to work but it would make society a more absurd and pointless place than it is already (satire)
Discuss this Journal entry [2]
Latest reply: Feb 9, 2002
Numbers
Posted Dec 18, 2001
I have been staring at my user number for four months now, and just realised that it makes 42 in a sequential line..
((1+8+1)*4)+1+1 = 42.
Carol Vorderman.. revenge is mine!!
Discuss this Journal entry [6]
Latest reply: Dec 18, 2001
My head is very very sore
Posted Sep 2, 2001
Sober!!!
Ow...
Ow...
Ow...
This is a place for people who are far to sober for their own good.
Anyone?
Discuss this Journal entry [28]
Latest reply: Sep 2, 2001
I am very very drunk.
Posted Aug 31, 2001
I am very very drunk... Something of an achievement, I am sure you will agree... Well I agree now.. Tomorrow, I may think it was just a bit stupid. But you never know... Maybe my inordinate pride is well judged right now...
Anyway.. what was I saying??
Ahh yes.. I am very very drunk..
If you are also very drunk, I invite you to post here, without any fear of ridicule or retribution. This is a space for the sozzled, a place for the p**s*d... I ashure you fo a rpomt repsonse..
Discuss this Journal entry [31]
Latest reply: Aug 31, 2001
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