h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There were sentient cannibalistic double decker buses with giant mouths with a vicious bite that spend their days attacking and eating other buses. They were other sentient buses who picked up passengers and sent them to make believe destinations.

You said I was dying ? is it a misdiagnosis ?
I'm still here

I was raised as an only child.

This really annoyed my sister.

Newcastle and London became one city where the River Tyne and River Thames emerged as one. It was the most surreal place on the planet where parts of the city stuck in the past and in the far future.

"This cornbread tastes like garlic," my daughter said.

Turns out I had mistaken the garlic powder for cornmeal

The ageold crazy cat lady had been a recluse without any contact to other humans for many years and when her health suddenly deteriorated mid December she was no longer able to feed her feline friends.

However when Santa came down her chimney all the cats where purring, well fed and healthy looking - but the old bat was nowhere to be found ...

Vincent was an Eagle scout and altar boy in his youth, but later he proved that goodness has a short half life, while evil stays constant.

Now he was tying me up and starting the chain saw while I begged for him to remember how close we once were.

I'm an only child! But your my double ?
ARGH! I've been cloned...

The mattress lay on the old and muddy ground in the shade of some scraggly bushes, with patches of green fuzz coming up on it.

A light rain began falling.

I met my doppelgänger in Ashington who told me that she shared the same imaginary friends at our home which had the ceiling, walls and floor all carpeted in red in the attic of the White Elephant hotel. It was haunted by an ancient Egyptian Veela and a floating skull.

When I visited my grandmother's grave, I found a hole in the ground, with steps leading down into the earth. When I reached the bottom of he staircase, the stairs vanished as my grandmother came forward to welcome me to the Other Side.

I went to the crypt to pay my respects..
It was empty and it had MY name engraved on it..

In Newbiggin, the houses were covered with green and purple felt with a large haunted mansion and garden that kept on disappearing and reappearing. Newbiggin and the whole of Northumberland was in it's own bubble which separated them from the laws of physics which existed in their own reality.

In London all the London Underground trains are without any floors as the passengers need to keep strapped to their seats so to stop themselves from falling on the tracks. The floor of the trains only come for a few minutes so as to let the passengers on and off the train.

Dank, musty moss grew on the walls of the dungeon where Frankenstein's monster mark II lay groaning on his pallet. "You haff been naughty!" doctor Frankenstein chided him as he reached for the forceps and fed another chunk of overcooked meat into the monster's mouth.

He said to the Yorkshireman! It's your turn to pay!

ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!

I found myself on a London underground in the middle of the night. I do not know how I got there but all I know is that they were filled with ghost passengers who were never able to escape the train as it was on a constant never ending journey that's being manned by the ghost rider.

I found myself on a London underground train in the middle of the night. I do not know how I got there but all I know is that they were filled with ghost passengers who were never able to escape the train as it was on a constant never ending journey that's being manned by the fiery ghost rider.

42 of us went into the fascinating grotto, which turned out to be seemingly endless with a lot of side tunnels leading into other grottos and caves.

I was in the lead carrying the big roll of red thread and did not look back until the light suddenly disappeared and I turned out to be completely alone with only a few feet of red thread in my hands ...

I was hired to clean and tidy up for several celebrities, but no one told me that I was in Joan Crawford's house until I made the mistake of hanging wire coat hangers in her closet. Where I turned around, Miss Crawford was glaring at me, and telling her assistant to "Bring me the axe."