h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, I was told the wedding rehearsals on Wednesday 23rd and Friday 25th via text by Tina in the office. There's me winding down after an exciting day going to inspect my parents' newly-implanted headstone and surround on behalf of my family, when my phone rang and it's the vicar. Can I make the 7.30pm wedding rehearsal in church he says. I said I have that as tomorrow night with another on Friday. No, says he, it's definitely tonight. So I set EastEnders to record and drove to church. I did show him Tina's text telling me Wed 23rd to prove it was not my error.

I'm pleased to report that both weddings went well - except for the rain for the 2nd, but they all seemed to be enjoying themselves posing for photos under umbrellas when I left at 5pm! I had help from Pauline for the first wedding and from Lindsey for the 2nd, but to be honest I didn't really need it. The father of the 2nd bride went to shake my hand when leaving the church (this is unusual, I've found, they generally thank the Vicar) but I pushed his hand away and went in for a hug. I could see he was very emotional and we shared a big hug.

I checked the returned memorial book and my mother is therethat's it now, everything's done. I wanted to shed a tear but waited until I got home.

I came home to have a lovely footbath and enjoyed my tea of toast with curd and a hot

Now having a mini-meltdown - the emotion is overwhelming, I miss Ian so much
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmzZg6Ry_KE

Well done

Thank you Sasha

I forgot to mention that I had time for lunch between the weddings: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155932877146185&set=a.10150329718346185.337183.655656184
that was just the first course - I also got bread & butter and a pudding (I chose mandarin cheesecake) for £9.99. Bargain!

Wedding #4 today at noon, then the Vicar has asked "a favour" - can I open the church for a choir practice at 1.45pm. I won't have time to go home & return so I might as well treat myself to lunch at The Ocean Fish Bar again

I hope your meal was as good as last time

My plans went belly-up

The Vicar said he'd arranged for someone from the choir to come in at 1pm - so I wouldn't have had time to go for a sit-down meal as it was, it was nearer 1.20pm when people began arriving, but my little helper had stayed with me so it wasn't so bad. I then walked to the chippie, got myself haddock & chips & drove home to have them with

I "hear" the earth moved for you last night(3.5 magnitude)

It was 3.9!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-44428360

It sounded like a large truck or lorry speeding down my road, which would have been very unusual at that time of night. I didn't realise it was an earthquake until this morning when I read a text from my daughter. Although Goldie had acted mightily strangely (for her) during the night, meowing to come in my bedroom in the early hours and again earlier than usual, I gave up trying to sleep about 5.30am. I reckon she felt the aftershocks.


There's numerous jokes doing the rounds of social media. I particularly liked "Earthquake rescue workers assured Grimsby is fine, it’s supposed to look like that."

F1926355?thread=4613378
"it’s supposed to look like that" like I sort of did with Doncaster.

3.5/3.9 I knocked a bit off the price for friends

A funeral yesterday, I spoke to an old schoolfriend, and she recognised me too. Another funeral tomorrow, a 42-year-old DJ, recently became a father. His girlfriend is just 21. So sad. We've been told to expect a churchfull!

2 weddings booked on Saturday 14th, I'm praying that's not Cup Final day

daren't look it up

It isn't. It's only the losers' final. Winner receives the bronze medals.

But don't worry, England might not make it that far anyway

I'll still watch the final

The church was full. It was like a fashion parade. I was aghast when I saw a young man place his phone down on the back of the pew in front of him (meant for hymn books, service sheets, etc) and he kept picking it up and scrolling through it all through the service. I wanted to smack the back of his head

football is about as interesting as watching a plank warpthey are all actorskick a shin and my head hurtsV.A.R.

sorry for usurping the threadwain't happen again

You're forgetting the whole community thing Prof - the agony and ecstasy of being an England football fan, the sheer joy of actually once or twice being able to celebrate something as a country that is otherwise headed for the dogs.

A friend said watching the quarterfinals will be like watching a training session with Tottenham Hotspur. He's right too: Lloris, Rose, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Trippier, Dier, Dembele, Alli, Kane

Best of luck to you. I'll root for you if you reach the semi finals.

Until then I'm Swedish

no problem my favourite

I'm proud to be a Yorkshireman (24/7) and have the "Yorkshire flag" on my wall in the front room and Yorkshire badges on various apparel.
The only time you see the flag of england is if a international football match is being played
patriotic ? nah!

So, the double wedding day has gone, with only minor mistakes, one by me in the first, and one by the vicar in the second.

The first had about ten ushers (groomsmen) all dressed identically in blue suits, complete with waistcoats. In the heatwave, I felt so sorry for them. They took all the wedding brochures outside to hand to the guests as they entered the church (there was some kind of competitiveness going on). I had to go and ask for two to supply to the vicar and the organist. Once the wedding got going, none of the bridal party in the front three rows had any brochures () and I noticed a guest give hers to one of the bridesmaids so I hot-footed it up the aisle to hand out brochures to all the bridal party.

I got a flea in my ear off the vicar for that


During the second wedding, the vicar forgot to announce the couple were now man and wife. Oops. He had missed that bit and gone on to bind their wrists with his sash, so had to reverse it and pronounce them man and wife. Nobody reacted, so I started to clap, and everyone else clapped. The vicar carried on regardless.

I bit my lip when he stated afterwards (to me) that he had been distracted by the child in the front row (infant son of the bridal pair).


Only one wedding left this year now, on 22 September.

I missed last Sunday's Holy Communion 9.30am service due to being on the way to the Lake District, so I went this Sunday as usual. During the Bible reading I heard the vicar say that "the king's daughter Herodias danced for his guests and asked for her reward the head of John the Baptist". Now, as I recall from Sunday school days, it was his step-daughter (and niece) Salome who performed the dance and it was her mother, the king's wife Herodias, who prompted her to ask for the head of John the Baptist. I looked at my service sheet and he had read it word-for-word, so I said to the vicar, on the way out of church, that I always thought it was Salome who performed the dance. He threw back his head and laughed and said "well, there you go".

The service sheet was wrong. But at least I was paying attention, eh. I am wondering whether it's wise to question the vicar or point out the error of the person who produced the service sheets (I know who she is). Let sleeping dogs, eh? I don't want to make enemies.

After a official inspection of the residential care home my daughter works at (very bad report) The company/owners have decided rather than spend money to "correct" they are to close the place down.
IE: out of a job, but! the other dayshe had a interview at another residential place and they've offered her the post