h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

the old sea docs were baying at the moon

Sea dock's difficult to find a times. He's never tide down.

Not everything is what it ap-piers to be.

Is Louis' Arm strong enough to play a trumpet?

I tried to get a job at a casino but they didn't have a slot for me. I figured it was a bit of a gamble anyway.

The ship was full, but the sailors weren't playing with a full deck.

Over the years lift have had their fair share of ups and downs in terms of popularity, but thankfully the idea has not been shafted.

Under the full moon, Hamlet turned into a werewolf. Gazing up at the beautiful moon he came up with the famous line, 'To bay or not to bay...'.

As to alcohol, sea captains harbor a love of port.

Qwertyus, god of keyboards, is a character from geek mythology.

I'm afraid that computer technology is all geek to me anyway.

I thought we were going dutch but she left the restaurant quickly so I had to go double dutch all by myself

I went into an h'eatery, didn't see 1 radiator whatsoever

She was so busy making snide remarks that she didn't watch where she was going, and fell into a sarchasm.

Behold the chasm of Sar lest you fall into it. You can't irony out the bumps resulting from it

Noticing the mud around her shoes as she sat on the lowest step; I told her she should have satire then they wouldn't have gotten dirty.

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Cantina.

Cantina who?

Can Tina come out and play?

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Sam and Janet

Sam and Janet who?

Sam and Janet evening, you may see a stranger, you may see a stranger across a crowded room. (apologies to South Pacific)

not knock knocks but she did have a nice pair of them

I can see you abreast of the situation. All facts safely locked in your mammary.