h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The local paper's headline: "Tomb it may concern, this was a very grave event. Most participants seemed in good health, however, some were coffin'".

She fell in love with a baseball player. She never missed a game, sitting in the front row with a nonstop longing for a shortstop.

During the zombie apocalypse I was stalked by one of the undeads, but a silver bullet to his heart put and end to it. You might say I stopped a dead in his tracks

I left my heart in Sans Francisco -oops!

The Austrian sausage went trick-or-treating in his wurst outfit and everywhere he was welcomed with the words "hello wiener!"

He moved so fast I could hardly catchup with him.

When he reached China he went to an ultra feminist restaurant called Chop Chop Spare Rib, the Eve of Deconstruction.

I thought King Kong Chop Suey was a joke. It isn't. It's a restaurant in Englewood, Chicago

All six of them learned to play the viol so they could play in a 17th-century viol consort. It was pretty viol, all right, as none of them played very well.

Sounds like they made a rackett.

They played a piece that went from beginning to end without stopping. The composer must have been restless.

They played G.F. Händel's concerti grossi - and it was gross alright...

Sounds as if they didn't handle it right.

They should have known better. The score was marked "Händel with care" after all

did they put the Handel on the inside ?

You should take the CD Bach to the store where you bought it.

can't, I used it as a Chopin block

Maybe you can use it Faure different purpose.

bugger! needs to check on google for that one

I thought you'd have been able to unRavel that one Prof!