h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

During his air test a young pilot flew through a rainbow. He passed with flying colours.

The geologist turned bank robber had lost his marbles when he swore the missing bank deposits were not his fault and he had a clean slate.

If a dog was computer literate, would his bark be worse than his byte?

Some moss took a lichen to a tree.

I bought a coal mine. On the first day, I walked in and said, "This place is mine."

It was very loud in the bar so when she said she was a coal miner's daughter I thought she said a coal miner adored her

I'm sure nobody minded, as most of the drinkers were loded anyway. She didn't say it in vein.

Did the others pay her any mined?

I opened 2 accounts,as my river had 2 banks

If the bank happens to lose your money, they'll probably say it isn't their vault.

and no fishing for a deposit

On a scale of 1 to 10, there's no accounting for taste and in the recent efforts, how many scored highly? No pun in ten did.

Who scored highest? One pundit

I think that's fintastic

At a company where they dig for gold a labour dispute is a miner problem where no one wants to get the shaft.

If you have to pay to go to the river, you'd better stop at the bank.

For this tree pun I had to go out on a limb and branch out to some other sources.

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

I'll order Swede'n chops.

The waiter was so agog, Iran away.

My scandinavian girlfriend had massive mood swings. She was Swede'n sour at almost the same time