h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Can elephants swim?

Yes, they use their trunks -- swimming trunks

Tusk tusk

The difference between a duck is it swims better than it walks

It ducks better in water than on land too

I won't be sending you a bill, but that's absolutely quackers,M'llard.

teeing off must be hard in the golf of Mexico

Martin gave me a tube of his ointment to remove my crow lines near my eyes and later on in we went out into the garden to watch the crows and house martins resting on my roof which reminded me that the there were some odd jobs needed to be done so I asked Martin if it would be alright to borrow his crow bar.

It's OK to watch an elephant bathe as they usually have their trunks on.

When the Nomadic tree senses danger it packs up its trunk and leaves.

Simultaneous management of elephants and walruses requires the ability to multitusk.

[Good ones, Thinker! ]

I answered the door and found a salesman on my porch.

"I'm selling walruses," he said.

"Are they of good quality?" I asked.

"Yes. They have the seal of approval."

Thanks Paul

Hazel and I needed quite a bit of cash to buy our favourite cashew and walnuts along with tubs of our favourite pistachio ice cream from Wal-Marts and later on we'd almond enjoying selves with our tub of ice cream each watching the d.v.d of the Nutty Professor movie.

Basil let me try his mixture of basil, olive oil, garlic, and ground pine nuts. We immediately became pesto friends. Basil's friend Hazel's company distributes gift boxed cashews and she has a delivery guy that drives her nuts.

Paul like the one about the walruses.

oh we do have a whale of a time here, it's the sole reason for coming

I wish I was coming, but I have to be going

going! going! gong! ouch! who put that there

The soundtrack for the killer whale movie was orcastrated.

When the Sun and the planets die, one person will receive the whole inheritance. Their lawyer convinced them to pursue a sole-heir system.

And the deceased will be mentioned in an orbituary.

I believe Bob did planet differently

I was just reminded of an old joke (thanks Kim via Sho):

Why do anarchists drink herbal tea?
Because all proper tea is theft!

do coffee drinkers get tea'd off