h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

me three(went up in budget)of't docktours, brood pressure

Was it a Malady D'moor? - very Cliffe Heath.

I generally duck when I see someone with a malardy d'amour.
Also, when people start throwing old canards at me, I duck.

ether eye duck or rune a whey


and beercan sarnies hurt

(bacon - Geordie lingo)

Silly owd coot, didn't Duck, then Growse, moors the pit eye.

shark'll have to go have another think on tack ticks

Sorry if any of last night's religious puns caused offence. If you're not already Sikh of me, I'll try to Hindu the damage. Buddha wouldn't want to sew Confucian any more, mon.


Anyway...if Jesus had had a better accountant he wouldn't have been hammered with tacks.

I'm an atheist, what's religion ??


you will knot get me cross, even if it's a nail biting finish

There's madness in Methodism!

Jesus may have had no money, but his life was prophetable just the same.

there wasn't a lott I could do about it, apart from add a-salt

Re: ligeous puns, on the hole it wasn't blast four me. In Ire-land yew mite have to go be four the O'fence panel, but they are poles apart. Yew just get a little board and finally hammered.

halo! halo! halo! what's going on 'er then

move on, easter I'll be arresting yew

Irish stew? Consternoon Afable, you kant be Sirius.

Mars after Uranus, so behave or you'll have to Saturn in all day and play your asteroids game

Haem! (whispers behind hand) The dock tour can prescibe you oinkment for asteroids, you get it at the farmer see!

I can see that Europe to your usual tricks.

'tis better to have loved a short person than never to have loved a tall

I used to work as a cheesemonger, but I camembert it any longer!

All's wool that ends wool.